Wednesday 5 October 2011

Phobia Freak!!!

I said it once, I can't believe I need to say it twice.

Imma happy freak among my fwens and I'm those clown who wear smiley mask whenever I fail to curl my lips upward. U guys are my precious lil things and I'm not gonna spoil the fun we share whenever we have the chance to gather. So, it's utmost important that everything goes well and nobody should step on my tail. That is the only thing I ask for. Is it so difficult?

***

I told you I am afraid of losing something. I'm so freakish I actually developed light OCD. I would not let my important possession goes outta my sight. I can no longer take the blame of losing my belonging over my carelessness. No longer! You wanna play with my stuff, take a look or watever, do it in front of me or notice me earlier. This shit happen again that night. I know you are playful, I know you hide it by handed it to someone who is believable, away from me. You wanna scare the hell outta me! Yes, You did it! Horrrayyyyy!!! You saw that stupid face of me being totally bewildered. Very funny wasn't it? Such accomplishment you did! Do you know how scare I was when I didn't find my phone on the place it was suppose to be? You didn't have enough, you did it again with my bag? I thought I just reminded you of my phobia just a second ago? Hey, when I told you it was phobia, I wasn't kidding you. 

I trusted you. I was at ease, completely off guard because I trusted you. And you pounced on me when I was most unaware. Perhaps you thought I was being too emotional or that I exaggerated the whole things. If you'd know me well, you know my level of tolerance. There are only certain things that could make me totally fired up. This was one! And you being the 2nd time offender. I can't hate on you, cuz you're my best friend. I felt terrible being angry with you and the bullet of angst came right back to me. Why are you being so serious? Why do you go banana over the trivial matter? So I should hate myself instead!

Now you know why I told you not to mess with my phobia the first time round. I will go mad! 
I'm sorry for being this way. Sorry for the innocence and carelessness of my past that resulted this being today.

***

Innocence... I thk I still posses it. Whatever unbelievable stuff told by my fwens I would believe. Even If I thought I know about the fact, his/her lies will had my confidence shaken cuz I would wanna believe them, those I called friends. Stupid huh? 

EG: I thot this fwen was going back to Indonesia for good and He is not coming back. I believed it and I went emotional for that day thinking that I kinda disappointing as his fwen. Fuck you V. Though I'm actually happy that it was a lie after all, I still hate the fact that you are one of those inconsiderate people who misuse pure innocents of others. Naive probably. Stupid to be precise. 

Ok lar...enough liao. Dammit! I'm not a good thing after all. I purr alot, scratch alot, pluck hairs alot, talk alot, too sampat, too hiao.... Aisey. Nuff said.

***

Had my teeth washed in Gov clinic. 1st time there! Not that scary after all. But I bumped to one annoying one, not friendly. Sigh. I'm glad I did it anyway!

I'm definitely not going to marry a Dentist. 

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