It has been a year. Last year today I was at Sunway with a friend attended One Republic concert. One of the day that i cherished. 1st concert. Before everything turn upside down the next day.
1st November 2013 i was told that my dog couldnt stand on his own and having difficulty walking. Last year that day i have forgotten that 2nd Nov was my 2nd anniversary of me joining pbb. This year 1st November, Pbb the n'th anniversary annual dinner is conducted. I'm performing 2 songs this time. 1 solo act singing Saving all my love 4u (yea, i noe i screwed up that song in audition, but i screwed up many times and i bounced back right?) and another duet belting Beauty and the beast with Genesis Khoo. :)
I havent feel any nerve wreaking yet. Maybe tomorrow when i see the stage and how everything not working... then ill be scared. For now...chill. i was so angry since yesterday cuz i just couldnt get my downloaded song in phone to my lappy and then channel them to my pendrives. Omg! Why is this happening? Well, i cancelled my broadband. And i somehow got a way to dl from phone and all the methods i know from bluetooth to usb connections all are not working. Not even share modem... wtf. Until today when i finally sorted this out that i feel somewhat relieve. And my throat ache. Hello lucky gal!!!
So tomorrow will be a busy hectic day until i finished with both songs. Then come Sunday... holly molly sunday which marked my 3rd year with Pbb.
No. Im just kidding! How on earth would i have nothing to say about my 3rd anniversary. This kinda relationship is like you are married to your 2nd love and you often find it so unsatisfactory but somehow some love bridge is built and it is workable and that you could lead a perfectly normal life or maybe fulfilling too.
But you will always craving for a love far fetched.
What do you think? I think it perfectly makes sense.
That sound utterly sad right?
If you feel me then pity me. Once in awhile maybe try to cheer me up or something.
That day a senior told me about the regrets he had and how that feeling hurt him.
The wanted feeling was gone and he is wanting that back. When i meditate him i feel like i was actually soothing myself.
I have a fair share of feeling about this kinda dilemma. This almost complete gal with flaws also managed to get some flirty boys. Every time when things seem to be going somewhere or when they thought we could go further when we are really not or that i thought wrongly, those attention will stop eventually. Being highly needed attention i suddenly feel lonely which im used to. However i do not like the feeling of having it and then have it being taken away.
Sometimes it was me who back off. Cuz i only want the attention i seek for. I feel discomfort and reluctant for other kind of sweet talk and those flirty relationship which aint going anywhere.
For who still confuse, im a pretty serious person especially towards sensitive issues like relationship and gender equality, strays and family.
You dont come mess with me and tell me things you dont mean cuz i will give you one tight slap on that pretty face. Oh i love you but sorry cuz i say it to other gals too. Oh i wanted to know u more and i really like you but i dont wish to be with you now, oh wait im just joking!
So, thats why im still alone and lonely. I am not waiting for mr right. God, mr right will have to die many times to get all the genes to be the man i truly wish for. I dont wanna die as old virgin too. Anway, work keep me going and the constant care to my job and my mom kinda make me not wanting to commit to another responsibility. I wanted to take in a puppy though. Yearning... but until i can find my heart to accept another future blows. I keep my ultimate goal close to my heart. To buy a banglo lot and save strays by which i mean poor animals. I wont save humans cuz they have functional brains. If human dont help themselves then they must die cuz they dont deserve to be alive and breathing. Waste of environment resources. Lol.
Im testing pendrives now and good, those stuff are working nicely. OcD kicks in. Downloaded 2 same songs but cant decide to keep which. Arghhhhh....
12am dy. Well if i must choose between being pretty or to be flawless in performance tomorrow... then i rather have the latter. Cuz im already pretty. Roll eyes...
okok. Report more soon. Xoxo.