Thursday, 30 December 2010
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Thursday, 23 December 2010
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
Monday, 20 December 2010
I was shaken... but I acted composed while my mom is trying to digest the news. I went into the car expecting my dad to ask me questions. I chocked but I forced myself not to cry in front of them. My dad kept telling me that it will be okay while I kept holding my tears back. Back at home, I tried hard not to think about it. But it broke my heart most when I saw my mom cried when she told my grandma about this over the phone. My dad acted cool but many lil things he did and reminders he told betrayed him.
I was full of disbelieve. I just couldn't believe that I'm actually dealing with this. It's like I'm having a nightmare and I'm waiting for the alarm to ring to tell me that it is just a dream. I always know I'm not a lucky gal. Sooner or later I will developed something. I just don't know what and I didn't expect it to be this soon. I don't wanna go under the knife. I dun wanna go through all this now... Y must always me the one to put in such position to remind other of awareness....
Eventually, I choose to cry alone over it... in my blog. At first I don't wanna meet anybody tonight. Two outing clashes. Girls outing and NT gathering... I scare I will either be extremely moody or I might cry out. I chose to go NT gathering as I wanted to meet Andrew and my gang. It was a huge crowd and it's not easy for us to gather like that. I have better control of myself in public places with many people. The reunion dinner made my day after a whole crappy day.
Thanks Andrew aka the GOD for the wonderful dinner... I finally know why they call you Mamie Monster...
I don't know how things will go in the coming days. Suddenly my life is like totally outta my own control. I used to tell myself that I can take things one at a time. All I got is time... and BOoM. The next thing I know is that I might not have that much time after all. Wake up missy... face the reality... This thing hit me real hard! One month of guessing tortured me enough. What else challenges you wanna put me through? Bring it on...
I just wanna live my life... Y is it so hard?
Leave me alone!!!
Leave me alone!!!
Enugh of emo... after all, I'm not dying right now... my nose block is what killing me at this moment...
I guess b4 I can diagnose what the fuck the lump is, I already died of suffocation.
From today onwards, I will know how to differentiate the left from right *snap*
Friday, 17 December 2010
Thursday, 16 December 2010
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
Tuesday, 7 December 2010
And so it turns out I am not at all able to withstand such pressure. I confirm myself at night that I would like to see the doctor in the morning. And I told my dad! He fetched me and my mom to a woman specialist Clinic Sidhu in Seremban. The doctor asked me to come again after period and said that it would probably not dangerous. She asked me not to worry as she believe it's just pre-period form of lumpy. Such huge relieve! I just hope I'm not the rare case.
Tho I wasn't really bothered by the touching...but I can't get it off my mind that
I WAS LEGALLED MOLESTED!!!
Haha.... it's not funny...really ><
Sunday, 5 December 2010
Thursday, 2 December 2010
Sunday, 28 November 2010
Having exposed to the talented people in New Tune, I am inspired to try my hand on it. It will be difficult and troublesome. I will need to record it down and find someone helpful to play it, and write me a lyric. I could try writing… but I think I am more like an author than a lyricist. This time, I’m determined! I have a humming recorded. Rough! Badly and LUANly arranged. I will need to figure out the arrangement so that I will not drive my musician crazy. I think it would be a good song. Whatdaheck, it’s my first ever, finally, creation!
I’m progressing slowly, but steadily. This raw talent of mine needed more salt and pepper ….
I mean seasoning XD
I have this lil much of credibility, this bitsy cool showmanship, many more lil talents aside, I have the biggest heart and willingness to learn, to gain more knowledge and skill and suck em all up! Chances will only goes to people who ready. So, be ready JC, at the same time, you ought to keep yourself grounded. Humble is the key to learn!
My belief and God never teach me this. I still hate Him!
Wednesday, 24 November 2010
My senior aka bestie informed me about her coming and asked me to go support her. I thought he was a fan of hers. It didn't crossed my mind that he changed his job, now working under artist... he was part of the Amy's team that night! Shocking... more surprising is that there is internship offer under the company... I'm considering~ XD...seriously, y not...
Boredom always makes me go back to reminiscing memories...