Pink Monday

Well, I don't hate pink as much as I did last time. 

Love my bio family. U guys are like antidote... some secret potion that cure eternal misery to sunshine & rainbow... One girl missing... to be exact... many more missing... XD

When can we have a perfect reunion biologists?

Thanks for everything today... & I k-ed. So, Imma happy girl tonite :)

They are pillar of strength... For them, imma daredevil. With thim, imma happy cat...Meow~~~

You cannot imagine how manja I can be whenever they are around... Cuz they made me shed all the unnecessary mask and shells so I can be the real Joanne comfortably. 

Missing you guys already. 

**

KTM is ever disappointing still. Sardin kiap for a good half an hour!!! How to vote BN when it thinks that giving RM500 to citizen is better than fixing one main transportation to its perfection! 

You judge la...

I don't feel much hatred about all recent bad stuff bout the country lately. Situation like this made me believe I've already lose hope in the country or more accurately the country. As if I will migrate somewhere and soon Mas wouldn't be home any more...As if la...

I'm more despise with the fact people actually use this cheap papery skill in promoting awareness... hello??? Who are you selling your awareness to? I suppose you promoting your pretty face more k... Wanna make an impact? Wanna change a perception? Wanna make a change? Go do something more accurate n on point! Spreading words n pictures alone can't change the fact this whole Lynas thing is on going! With 40% construction completed and permit being legalized (correct me if I;m wrong), what else shit can you do? Think!!! Dun simply join an outcry to create chaos, to prove that you're simply against LYnas without really object blindly. You wanna kill someone, you make sure that die with a reason. Understand throughout the pros & cons. Weight the disastrous Vs the profit it could bring. Think of very important strong points which can them stutter while answering.

Fearless yet powerless

**

Mind Talk

Learned a new road to Sri Pulai to fetch my dear babe. Hey, I'm getting better with direction! LOL. 

Vast improvement!!! 

Sweet times we had. You're still with the shoes obsession & I'm still ever indecisive... 

I had my tummy filled with chunks of sushi and this lovely Macha ice-cream!!! 

I have tried a few sushi restaurants... somehow Sushi King give me a warming call all the time...I guess I haven't tried the best yet....

Found this in FB sharing...I simply adore this picture...I would love to think that I had the best of both worlds but well, in actual fact, I truly never once fit in quite comfortably in either side. Whatever qualities I have that qualified me into whichever category didn't come naturally. I fought for it. I am never the smartest in class. But never the dumbest at all. Not even close! How to stand out? I knew I was good with memory. Hence I focus in Biology, thru understanding and theories. 

I knew I drew some nice things, coloured some good paints but they weren't very made known to others. What to do to make them visible? Be different! Human figure, fashion design... hardly anyone I knew does that! And hell I drew some brilliant sketches...

If you're not blown away by the pieces...

 ...then perhaps I'm really not good enough. 

The same thing applies to singing. I wasn't an acknowledged singer. I fight to be known. I don't have parents who knew the importance to enhance a child's talent, by simply acknowledging it. The 1st opportunity came when I was in standard 6. Karaoke competition. So freaking cheap competition. But the stupid cheap cert is still with me, marking my 1st participation as a contestant. 11 years after that I am still here talking about this...

Tho much have changed, much experiences are collected, much wisdom has grown.

Am I ready to make a huge change? I thot I was passion driven all the way... but how well have I prepared? 

How well? Did all the journeys I had with my fellow Newtuners counts? If yes, is it enough? So much of stage performances I've done in the past few years... what are these gonna leads me to?

Imma looking for a start off point. That very stage I aimed since 11 years ago. No matter how terrible and how bias the show can be, I still wanna fulfill my long time desire. These coming 2 months, it's either I make it or break it. Disadvantage of starting off late at this age means I don't have much fighting chance. But it's okay. I truly believe if it is meant to be yours, it will be yours.

Failing all the audition means I have alot of cash I prepared for the whole competition to spare! LOL!!!!

So holiday, here I come.... 

I'm ready for vacation... pending for dates... cuz I have no idea when I will fail the competition....

Audition round? Proceeding rounds? Nobody can tell... route is set, but I can't see a clear sign yet... Will there be junction? a fly over? But definitely no dead end and a U-turn le... Hey, it's my route!!! I set it up remember!!! LOL.. Don't judge!!! Haha

Imma taking one step at a time.... I hope you will be there for me. 

:) I really need you guys to back me up... This manja mei mei do need someone to cuddle or sayang the moment she is crushed by the big men in the industry. She is one freaking ego girl. If she is to fall, she falls hard. Pls don't ignore her okay?

Took leave on Monday! Hell yea... gonna have a pink Monday @ KL with babes. Random date happens. Oh well... Tuedays will be doom day then!!! Cases will be piling up waiting for me to come back! 

I'm done writing...  Guess I have everything clear off my chest. 

It would be nice if you were to hear this but I chose to write. I have given you a choice :)

-end-

Beep

My Heart's a stereo
It beats for you so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every note
Oh, Oh

Make me your radio
And turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo

This week was a stressful week... I was emotionally exhausted and I was at my edge of comfort zone. I try to really enjoy what I was doing and though at some point I really did, it wasn't enough.

I was preoccupied with American Idol continuously for 4 hours show this noon. Now that makes me happy. Brilliant vocalists and charming personalities made me hooked on since the beginning of the show till the end. Hardly anything on TV could do that. And I already have some favorites in mind. Gee... This season is smashing hwat!!! I guess losing Simon Cowell is not really a big deal after all. After being highly motivated by the show, I hit some good notes on my favorite songs too... Buahahaha.... I'm so ready for the audition... Not the competition yet... will be soon. Sigh! I'm enduring all these shits for you... Pls don't disappoint me...

Had a sweet yamcha time @station one with babes Jiayie & Eewen. I don't know why we always end up talking about really serious life matters... LOL! They told me that you only start a relationship because you wanna get marry. It's not a game nor a matter that you can't be sure of. You must always be prepared that mind set when you involved in a relationship. I for sure disagree strongly...partially maybe... anyway....no comment. I have always been seeking. I truly believe that dear heart knows what it wants... dear heart just can't feel the right one coming yet cuz it has been long since it last skips a beat... I thot it did, but it didn't... merely medical defect. LOL!!! LOL!!! 

Insecurities sucks and it's even worst when you don't have someone to look up to. So, I got myself and the lil mercy gifts I had with me to boost about. Do forgive me when the bitchy me needa blow some own horns. It wasn't meant for any specific attention, maybe it was, not necessarily for you. Simply for my own confidence resurrection.... Long live exaggeration!!! 

LOL 

LOL

There are times in life you needa be your own pillow to cushion some external pressure n pain...

I guess I'm supremely professional in that... healthily K. No drugs allowed. Drug is too expensive and it's gonna ruin my voice.... C Whitney... god bless you my heavenly queen of ballads... Let's wish your ex husband die brutally. 

LOL!!!!

Good night dearest... I meet you in the weekend... Hey, I took leave on next monday too... wanna date me, book me now k... 

Lullaby-ing soon.... Buenas noche :)

Sad

Was very unhappy in the office today. 1st thing in the morning like usual, I don't have a place to sit. The one I occupy now actually belongs to the marketing manager. And she is freaking hardworking these few days coming every morning...times when I'm terribly busy. I moved from seat to seat to get the simplest things done 1st. Time dragged due someone else prolonging their works made me very pissed off. So it was rough in the morning. 

Cases have been crazy lots. Was stressing myself out I didn't even get proper sleep for the whole damn week. I was worried over the undone works and all sorta rubbish. Being a branch officer meaning I have to follow one case from the beginning of an application until the acceptance of letter of offer (LO). There are procedure to every stages and you don't just have one case. It wasn't easy! Especially everything has to be specifically detail. So the stress logically and naturally comes in at all times.

Since I have never approach the stage after issuance of LO, of course I will ask. I know I am troublesome. And maybe I don't know how to act according to situation. You have to understand. I freak out when I deal with something I hav no clue about. Maybe I ask too much. Maybe I'm too stupid that I needed you to guide me more than once. 

So this LO thing, boss's customers wanted to sign today. My boss was in meeting at Malacca. I only see the LO signing procedure twice. The last time wasn't anytime near. I have no clue how to assist them in signing. I ask my mentor to help me out. He kept saying that he will guide me by the side. I was on fire. I told him I don't know how. If I have some clue on it, then yes, at least I will know what the hell I would be saying, then if I made mistake, you could amend me right away. The fact is that I don't even know what those forms are for and which to which function and hell I don't even know which pages needed to be initialed. How can it be fair? I was scare... this is not something that you can simply get away with. Precision and I don't know it at all. 

I wanted to ask someone to guide me these two days expecting the customer to sign anytime but the hell cases can't be done on time. What else times I can choose to learn? Hey, I'm going back 7.30pm to 8pm everyday!

What I'm mad is that you don't help me when I needed you most. The moment I open my mouth to ask is the point my ego is shedding. I breath ego! When I open up to admit defeat, why wouldn't you see how uncomfortable I am? If you enjoy seeing me naked without my dignity, you may. But I will not ever see you the same way again. 

I was at the point of crying. It wasn't as if I was at knife-point situation... but I just was so worried and so bloody angry with his respond. I begged you twice. The moment I lost my patient I just lost my attitude. I guess he was shocked then asked me to bring to him the file. I never did. What for when you do it when you're not at all satisfied either...the same similar situation when you saw me naked then you feel guilty and then you give me what I want.... how fucking pathetic?

I pantang few things in person. I hate it when I am ignored. I hate it when I don't get respond. I even hate it when I am asked to do something against my will and it was out of my control.

The Fuck! And I hate every single soul in the world who make me sad to the extend that I need to cry! I hate it when people saw me cry. 

Fuck!!! So fuck off!!! 

You're a good man. In fact a good mentor. But you just crossed my weakness today.

Sorrey...........

Archustic Cert

 

This reminds me of one of the happiest musical journeys I have been thru... Was an invited/selected performer to join the function. It was a nice exposure to the architecture world and accompanied this annual celebration of architecture-university base function was our small team of performers. 

It was the start of some great friendships

It was the first day that I truly know you

 :)

Valentine..... Not so alone

Ermm.... XD. Sometimes it's nice to LOL over the miserable days like this.

FLY FM called it Single Awareness Day

Picked my mother out to have my unagi dinner at a Japanese shop @ Jusco. Then, I headed to my fav coffee shop for a nice cup of cappuccino.

I eyed on two rings earlier of the month. It's either the diamond ring or the white gold ring. Wandered around for sometimes and after much consideration, I picked this one. Very sweet on the finger and it feels just right. Of course there are many other with much beautiful designs which totally captured my heart. But, you gotta wear your status. If you ain't rich, don't act one. Most importantly, ring was not even on top of my buying list. Stupid Valentine Day! Now other favourites gotta wait longer!

Moreover Diamond is sumthing very sacred. It truly gives a meaning depending on how you buy it, why you buy it, whom buying you one and when it's bought.

I don't wanna pollute its beauty so I'll just keep it simple with this one. So what happen to the ring I wore for almost 2 years? It doesn't bring any value in cash (It cost only RM10!!! XDXDXD) But I wore it as a sign! 

Just the beginning of the year, I have already collected 3 main regrets. 

1) I spent another Valentine alone

2) I declined to go Avril's concert.

3) Whitney Houston died b4 I sang my all time fav "Saving All My Love For You" to its perfection.

She was my top 3 diva b4 others like Leona Lewis & Christina comes in. 

Mariah, Whitney, Celion... the top 3 divas of mine. They make me love singing, they inspired me in so many ways. I'm truly saddened by the news. 

Life made her a miserable woman, overshadowed her superb talent and her gifted voice.

SIGH! Let's not hope that happens to me.... LOL!LOL! I'm nothing like her, so don't let those misery imposed on me... 

Dear God, pls don't hate me so much. 

I guess we're back to square one :(

Welcome Back Kheng

This skinny lil thing is one of my fav girl in our bio geng...

The one that truly been thru Thesis hell with me...

Remember the crazy nights we spent around Kajang and Bangi seeking for food, then came back hostel pia our stupid writing... U about flies, me about wasps... freak loving memories...

How imperfectly perfect those days....

Im glad u quit your job at Johor...Dun like my friends being so far from me... I had so many in Penang, so many in KL, so many in else where but not quite few with me in Seremban... :(

This Valentine...Hmm. I prepared the worst already. This bloody seductive mouth is ain't making confession anytime soon. So, Imma gonna find a way to wash away the misery of being happily single for another V-day.

LOL

Actually I am not looking for any commitment...like seriously > < anybody could do. I just want to feel loved n special. I don't want a relationship... I just need some buzz... I don't wanna feel so alone. I don't know if you could understand me...You can't love someone else until you know how to love yourself right. I hold that phrase to dear heart cuz it speaks to me. 

I love my friends, more than myself. So in any sense in the world, V-day is for them, for now....

:)

At the end of the day, What Doesn't Kill You Make You Stronger XD

Thanks Ms. Kelly, you sang my heartfelt... every single song of yours :)