Saturday, 15 June 2013


There's a lot in my head that I wanna talk about. My energy level would not be able to get me there~ laying all thoughts into words.
I wanna talk. Not sure who really fits in to fill up this soul mate talk that I needed. 
I'm really tired. 
Really tired!

Sleep deprived. In fact, I was always looking for reason not to sleep. My work is draining every single ATP in my cells. I felt vulnerable. My mom is sick lately. Having lotsa stuff going around but unwilling to seek for the right medicine. She has no idea what trouble she is putting me through. Parents could be immature & that sucks. I'm tired of being the one for everyone.  My patience is running low & I hope these will be over soon. 

A lot of time I just feel like giving up ~ on work, on people, on dreams, on beliefs, on promises, on myself.

Sigh. Emo. For no reason. I kept on craving for food. Bad sign. 
Bad stress = Bad habit. 

Bad idea. Bank's annual dinner is coming. :( 
N I'm not singing this year. :( :(

Thursday, 6 June 2013

I had a 3 fun days companion by a friend who still runs around as mobile officer. The branch has demanded one due to workload overflowed & he was flighted in for a honorable rescue :P

He was practically the one who lured me into PBB even before I knew him. My bff noes him and she told me about his existence in PBB & his income. I was literary enslaved myself to PBB because of him :)
This drives him nuts whenever I talk about it. Having him around makes me less tense.
We are those pair of friends who never get tired of shooting each other to the highest sarcasm level. We'll spit onto each other and LOL big one in the office. As usual, people who is capable of doing this with me are boys who talk good English & charming in his own way. I'm just so glad he has a gf who happens to be my friend too :) They are so so cute together. Him being occupied save me from any chances of being victim again. Having been to too many crash n burn, wanting, expecting but denied relationship sucks.

Out of the blue he & the fwens jumped into relationship matters... again. Why? Cuz I'm the only one still single around? We were kinda debating on what do I need & why not I accept another colleague in the office~ They came out with a conclusion that I demanded too much. I denied if cuz if was only half truth.
He then kidded it around again with a senior in branch. Now that man said the righteous word.

She is not wanting too much. She is seeking perfection. :) Perfection. A word that defines everything that I was seeking.

The truth is I'm not seeking anybody intentionally. Perfection itself portrays nobody in particular. It's all about compatibility & complementary. When it's not right, it's not right. Need not try.

It's June already. Need to plan my Kuantan trip fast & a birthday escapade. I really wanna be away in August, hopefully on my birthday.

Read The Kite Runner in a week time. It was a real engaging 1st party narrator novel. Very melancholic it makes me cry all night all week. Looking forward to more of Khaled Hosseini's novels. They will occupy me for sometimes.

 May has been bad. Now we reaches June. Half a year of 2013 has past us by. Now what?
Father Day, Annual Dinner, Father's Birthday, AF audition, Kuantan trip?

I'm seriously tired of all things. I just want to be away.