Saturday, 29 January 2011

Glee...beginning of season2

Watched Glee episodes 1, 2 and 3. 

The first was the introduction of Charice as Sunshine. Damn, her vocal capability was so great, my hairs stand each time I watch her sing, seriously. I don’t get that often. I was miraculously blown away and I was inspired. And Flynn can’t dance…Purely shameful XD. 

The second one was a tribute to Britney Spear. Hey, it reminds me how much I once love Mr. Spear. I never really a gaga fan of hers but she is the inspiration of showmanship, a reason why I wanted to try dancing. Brittany does not have a good vocal but it’s just enough to tackle Britney’s. Her body is even more slender than Britney herself. Oh, Santana has got quality in her voice too. Hopefully she will be explored soon. I don’t enjoy 'Stronger' by the handicapped boy in that football field. It was uncomfortable to watch and Lea doing ‘Baby one more time’ is a little too desperate and dreadful. Damn it... I love Lea, not Racheal

The third one…whoah, I was almost crying for the whole episode. I guess it’s wise for me to watch Glee alone. This time they talked about spirituality and God. I’m siding Kurt and Sue 100%. I’m a free thinker. If I have to be nasty and downright disrespectful, I would tell that I don’t believe in god. 

I used to blame him for giving me such life, a sorrowful childhood. I pray for him for a change, I pray for comfort, to ease my pain. But it never happens. Nothing I say, nothing I wish, nothing I beg ever granted. I hate Him…but sooner or later… I started to feel tired of hating. Eventually it become an ignorance and I self declared, a free thinker. I don’t wanna be let down all the time. I don’t like to discuss such topics. 

My form six friends are all aware of this. Even the strong Christian believer friends of mine would not debate such topic with me. They would not have a chance as I will walk away. Well, I’m not spreading words of wisdom and I practically need not to apologies or owe anyone explanations about my choice. Like Sue said, it’s wise to keep it to myself. 

Please don’t judge me when you never stand on my shoes. Actually I don’t see the wrong side to believe more in morality, humanity, pure sincerity, true love, and self confidence. I’m not quite a stubborn kid though. During festivals or prayers, I will not decline to hold burning sticks or utter some prayers for my family. I don’t mind going to temple or church if they need be to be there. I respect and adore them for having something to hold on to, to guide em, and to talk to when they need someone… Sorry that I said no for those blessing.

Oh ya, my expression of ‘OMG’ is not referring to Him, it’s just an expression I cannot keep my mouth from using it =) Somehow, people keep thinking that I am a Christian as I have the tendency to write or use spiritual words…. 

Hmm, I guess I could use a lil comfort eh...
I had an awful dream yesterday. 

No, not about Vampire, not about, quite horrifying geh~

There were many people in a place and I guess we were going somewhere to play or whatever. When the game was over, all of us went to just one car, preparing to get in and rest. It was a multy purpose vehicle. How reasonable can it be? Well, I have a bunch of friends; of course I need a huge car to be there in dream. 

But it wasn’t mine. It was Urs. I was expecting U to go to the driver seat but U declined. U told me that Ur girlfriend will drive and send us home. What the…. I can totally feel how broken-hearted I was. I was very sorrowful. LOL… 

I thought we have the possibility. In reality, this thing could happen and that should explain why I still feel so unpleasant until now. So, it’s proven that I care about U. I might be still confused over my feeling on you, but knowing that you were taken before me figuring out my confusion, sucks. 

If U really feel the same, I wish U can take the ring off my finger before this Valentine’s Day. That’s the deadline. After that, I will no longer wait for U. If these are just pure innocent sweet misunderstanding after all, probably I mixed some fantasy into reality, then I would at least set my mind off misery for good. Then I shall just continue wearing that ring… 

You know I sing the song ‘Single Lady’ in a different way~ my own way…=P 

“If you single, lady put a ring on it” 

Hmm, I guess these are just beautiful illusions... It's wise to give up, again... I guess. 

Awh, Im so hopeless =(

Ha...Tell me Im gud-LOL

The last practice of my song before it resumes after CNY was a blast. When I sing with great sense of possessing the song and totally feel it, the outcome would be a great one. I was told my vocal got stronger. Another said that I have got feel/groove.   

Who don’t love compliment ite? Especially if it’s true and a sincere one. In NT, we don’t simply throw praise to someone just to make someone happy. We all care for the NTLP success and we want all the best for the concert. Nobody will give foolish remarks over something unworthy. We all seek for perfection and want only the flawless outcome. 

So, compliment is hardly yearn unless something noteworthy surfaces. 

Praises for me is like an injection of confidence. It’s like a boost of ego. I used to get something like ‘Joanne got a good voice’ and ‘you sing well’ a lot. But it never really satisfies me. Cuz somehow I doubted it. I will often think if they are simply being nice or I am really that good to begin with? So, it never goes into my head. I never really brag about it. I guess I learn it from my mom who always keeps me grounded. I have not been able to prove and there is yet a solid proof I can show the world, I am good. 

So, I’m really thirsty for accomplishment!!! 

Well. I’m not sorry for that. > <  I can’t help wanting to be better~

Alright…I do get something though from time to time. 

My besties think that I’m gonna be a star. Ha…how I wish…they never fail me. They support me from the beginning and they become my core supporters. A new friend at Spanish class told me that he remembered my performance at NTLP 13. He thought it was very good. Like usual, I will question his sincerity as in, seriously? Eventually, I gave in. I loved to believe him. 

My Indonesian friends AKA incredible musicians/composer likes my voice. That is huge! I mean they are so talented, and I’m like so small…. I love the songs they made and they feel that the combination of my voice and their song are brilliant. Just currently, they formed a band called Canvas, and they want me in. Hell yea… as long as I can compromise on the time and date. The band is a combination of Indonesian and Malaysian. They will plan performances and possibly begin with all Kolejes Dinner at Dectar. If only it can be materialized, it will be terrific! Finger crossed. 

Meanwhile, I will focus in NTLP. I love my song though it was somehow desperate, as much as last year song. I love my band mates. 

Ed= drummer, Christine= composer/ guitarist… Funny how she plays guitar instead as she is the god of all pianists; Kiwi= arranger / pianist, MingYuen= Bassist, Siewin, PuiYan, Sam= Background Vocalist…. All of em are my accapella members. We are gonna have a fabulous time together!

There might be many who acknowledge my talents, yet my mom haven’t really get it into her head that her daughter is a capable singer. She doesn’t doubt my singing, she just think I’m not there yet. Which is not wrong but it sucks! Lol…

A reason which drives me to yearn, to achieve and to excel more…. desperate sungguh JC

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

NTLP 14 progress

I was struggling earlier in my song practices as I somehow lost the groove of the song. The more I sing, the more I lose the feel. Today was a day I totally thought I couldn't sing. After a disastrous K yesterday where i felt my voice deeply locked and the arrival of sickness prevented me to hit the appropriate notes, I sorta lacked the confidence to sing today. 

Somehow, the opposite happened! First recording for today proved it all. Singing was good and the band flow was great. I guess all member were on the same page today. With a few other musicians and a singer there helped gave a few tips as well to enhance the song. 

I'm glad to received positive comments from others. Especially on things I can fix on; My voice. The main worry is the Acapela part... which I hope after CNY, there will be more people recruited so more variations and layers of voices can be arranged. Thanks band mate for tolerating my so-not-able-to-speak-music-language de singer. I have good ears. I can listen to flaws but I do not know how to tell it in a proper way. So I might have difficulty explaining and the things that seems like a prob to me, might not be at all a prob to you guys. LOL... So, correct me yea if I make the wrong call/judgment... amateur ma...

What am I gotta do with U? U are messing up my mind... Or I guess I'm simply messing up my own mind

Hey hey
Set me free
Stupid Cupid
Stop picking on me....

25 de Enero, 2011

Biology CNY Reunion Dinner 2011

Comprised 3rd years's and 2nd year's... 1st yr's de out cast... LOL... Super juniors have exam...2bad le

Finally we have the most complete set of people for a gathering. 

The last one was during my birthday celebration which was due last August. The team organized it at Mr.Old Man restaurant located at Sg. Chua. Everyone was told to wear nicely cuz there will be crazy photo shooting by the end of the dinner.

Indeed, we got so hyped, we were playing around like school kids... luckily there weren't many customers on weekday. Everyone was on his feet moving around, wanting to be photographed with each other. I was so love drunk that I did lotsa geli stuff with friends... ha, fellow friends, don't dare me when I'm giler high~

After dinner, the remaining 13 people went to Music Box. Was already not feeling well these few days, nose block, dizzy and sore throat still, I said yes to karaoke risking my voice for practice which due the day after. Was out of breath singing Fighter by Christina... Excel once, but it didn't work the same on that night. The 2 male in my course did not help either. They were freakin funny I laughed my head off. X buleh tahan them all. They, doing MJ songs made all the 11 gals laugh like maniac. Probably just me, but seriously they are so brilliant.

Thanks coursemates and juniors for such overwhelming lovely night. I knew many of you adjusted the date and time for me as it seemed that I'm the most busy gal in the team. It was really a splendid night with a bunch of awesome people... 

Us= Family = BFF 4 ever....promise?

Joanne feel loved. Who need a bf when she is so loved by people around? LOL...Oppss

Saturday, 22 January 2011

Dear Dear

Awh....dear dear so leng zhai....u totally melt my heart~

 but hairs shed like crazy... huhu...

Still I love you... Nobody can doubt it...

My 1st PAP Dinner

 I’m glad I made it this year. It was my last semester here in UKM and it feels just right to experience all the things I have left out earlier. I was a late entry. When I felt that I should be present for the dinner, everyone has already found their own team for the table. Luckily 3 of my gals were in the same society and there was a seat left which just fit me right.

 I arrived late since all of them said there was no point going in early. I did some makeup to enhance my eyes, well, my best assets if I must say. I straighten my hair with my roomie’s helps. It was so good it boosted my confidence on that night. Put on a new outfit I bought the other day and WA~La… I felt beautiful. You know, I don’t really do all these at all time, so whenever I wanted to transform, I’ll make sure it turns out great. I almost wanted to wear my gaun but well, you can’t really look graceful when you’re gonna turn up to this dinner by a bus. I walked in at almost at 8.30pm and the hall was already packed. 

There were around 6-7 dishes presented along with few performances. First and foremost was a musical treat from the NOISE production. Well, cats and neon and contemp. It was a perfect attention catcher form the beginning. Pesta Tanglung dancers can totally do something similar… Awh, damn. It made me miss PT dancing already. The funniest thing was when my gal suddenly told me to look at the person wearing the fake toy head imitating a girl. She was like, Eh, I think he didn’t shave the arm pit hairs…. LOL. Fang o Fang… You focus on the wrong place

Another great performance was from the master of sand drawing. Hell yea, he was great. I was drawn in from the start as I saw it before in FB and on TV. This was live show…  One that deserved mention was the Chi-Ling routine. At first I was like oh, boys n gals, with traditional Chinese toy. When they begin to speed up, I froze my backbone straight as everything turns out great effortlessly. Hardly a mistake and the night mode chi-ling was spectacular. Since my seat was quite near the stage, I can see the players slightly in dim light. But once I faced the big screen, I saw totally the effect they were showing us. It was like disco balls dancing on airs. 


I love watching Anuar dance so graceful in traditional Malay dance, representing Artist Sukma. Awh… I wanna learn~ Hip Hop performance by D8 seconds was lame. Gosh, it was almost shameful to mention. Other than the main man in the group, the rest were just…Especially the gals, well, they have moves, they don’t have techniques. Geli!

I’m happie seeing many friends out there. My ex-PT hubby came to the dinner. He looked so matured and was just in perfect figure. Still a soft-spoken guy friend of mine. Lovely =)

But sadly the one I wanted so much to meet; I didn’t exactly have a chance to see him face to face. Ha, whatever la. We were a moment so near, yet so far… sigh, boundary~

Lastly, it’s a worthy dinner. Well, it could be even nicer if my whole course mates were there… Maybe after we graduate….and we make it a reunion…oh well, till then~

Monday, 17 January 2011

Benjamin Bon

What is ur full name a.... ?? LOL

Happie Bday Ben Ben

Super Emo guy... when bumps to an emo gal who never admit she is.... 38ness occurs.

Wanna noe how I describe you sincerely?

1st impression: Tall, Fair, Spot on charisma.
When I got to know you better by the end of year 1, I sorta charmed over. Then I realized how hiao n shopaholic you can be... LOL. We were extremely flirtatious that many thought we were couple. 
Well, rumours... I love. I got nothing to lose...

 Poser we both =)

You are helpful, a source I will seek every time I bump into doubts...
At one moment you were actually on top of my list. Serious! You still don't believe it! It was u 1st then only that stupid W! Lol... I thk you knew about my list thingy hor... Ha, you are the only guy (perhaps) who know too many of my stuff. We date do many times gua... Lucky u la..

Thought of treating you dinner tonite de... Hmm, I ganti soon k whenever I got time, and whenever you wanna see me.

You noe wat, Im gonna make a silly promise to you... hahaha. Hmm, na, I don't think you want pun.

If no body knows how to appreciate you in the future, and I happen to be still ever choosy, I score you ya... LOL. Meanwhile, no boys will earn my confession. I x mau threaten my last crush liao. Later he tak jadi grad. XD To tell the true, I always felt that it's a shame that we failed to proceed further in our relationship. I guess we both know each other just a lil too much. Bestie huh....


Ben, take good care of ya self k. You don't know how many fwens out there care for you. I will miss you after we grad... Cuz your presence marks a significant difference in my life. 

God bless you always =)

Okay...too much...too much....

Im auditing Spanish! Like my roomie say, I just wanna learn, Im not intend to score in the first place. Well, conscious got the better of my ego. I cannot take all my favorite and aim to do well in such limited period of time. I rather excel in few rather than left hanging in all stuffs. I know myself too well. Just after practice started, my heart wander away and I don't wanna give myself empty promises. 
Buat Malu je JC...

Samba is GREAT!!!


Have lotsa fun 2day, and I sweat greatly. Dancing is healthy guys.... Oh, I was so unbalance today, I think I scare my partner. As he was afraid that I'll fall, he grabed me by hand everytime I make a turn ... XD.  
Paiseh a~

Well, someone else caught my attention lately. It was against my own rules in picking up a crush. Haiz... But he is a special case. He is'on. 

Sick is over but allergy is ready to serve its master. 

Recently, The Script caught my attention. Their songs...the messages... melt my heart. Those who don't know em, try listen to Breakeven, The man who can't be move, Nothing. It's like a combination of Nickleback and James Blunt/James Morrison.

2morrow is NTLP 14 1st rehearsal. My song is not in but I'll be there to see how many talented singers we spot on this year. It's always fun whenever music lover kaki gathers... XD
2day is an emo day. Whenever I'm emo, I don't go around being sour faced. Instead,  
I'll be extra crazy. 

How crazy? You gotta know me better than... besties know best!

Sunday, 16 January 2011

Im not happie

Dun play with my phobia ya... You guys are such bestie to me, I don't wanna hate you.

I can't be mad as much as I wanted to shout at you, because you don't know about it.

 That also means that you never read my blog.... That too I don't blame you.

I got phobia of losing stuff. Although the thing was with you and i'm sure even if you hide it, it will be safe with you or either one of you. 

It was the insecurity I felt. I am scared. Im not fooling you.

Now i hate myself cuz i feel myself being easily offended. 

You accidentally cross the border... Sorry that you don't know, and sorry that I never let you know.

Saturday, 15 January 2011

What A Day...

Yesterday was 15/ Enero/ 2011

My 1st official shopping trip at TimeSquare. I've been there 3 times, but none as this one time. We took rapid outta UKM at 8.30am. Waited for U40 at Perhentian Kajang and there my roomie (another Joanne= JT) , Kheng and me took off. Around 10.30am, we finally reached our destination. We walked for many hours, gosh... My feet were screaming for a stop along storming each n every stores. But the strong urge to search for a killer heels kept me going... 


The shops there are crazy cheap n wave of new people coming in and out...Suffocated seriously. A girl like me usually brand conscious could not believe the price tags i flipped over. But hor, quality is definitely define by its price, most of the time. I cannot accept buying clothes without trying it on. My eyes spot pretty things, especially good design n cutting. But my body is not a perfect one to boost about. So, matching it simply would not do justice to both parties. Speaks like a pro huh JC. Hey, im a designer wanna be k...I just dun dress like one....><

 sopa en la pan??? Oh, we choose pumpkin's

 Saukheng... u dreesed nice...

 Oops... We ate dirtily... LOL
So, bla bla bla.... Xjadi buy a nice heel that i finally found comfort in it. No size!! Bloody...Eventually, outta desperation, I bought a pair of the so called WaWa shoes. Bump to an extraordinary salesgirl... omg, I never see one as hard sell as her but not at all annoying.

The interesting story started right after. 

 About 7.30pm, we get outta TS and took U40 back to UKM. When we almost reach Kajang, it was almost 9pm. My song practice was at 10pm. So, I bid goodbye to babes and head down before reaching Perhentian Kajang. Once I got down, oh shit, where was the restaurant 88? The environment was a familiar one but not the one I was aiming to came down to. 

HollyCow.... Wrong Stop!!! Gao Meng a...What to do? It was so dark, and so many cars, the road was so wet. Stupid JC! Stupid ME! Called a fwen for directions and my babes in bus were worried. I thought to myself, it wouldn't be too far. So I went on walking. Along the way, I was seriously terrified. I finally see the flyover. Okay, how to cross the cross junction, fast cars, and someone die earlier in the road this year- not sure which part of Kajang road tho. I gave up trying and took a taxi.

Upon entering, I asked to go to my destination which was just slightly after the flyover. HUHU...Paiseh no.1. Then, to his curiosity, I told him that I don't dare to cross over the road and that I came down from the bus at the wrong stop. Paiseh no.2... why so honest Joanne??? He was a nice Taxi driver la...Somehow I always got luck bumping to a friendly Taxi driver. After reaching the band room, safe n sound, I ask for the price. RM3 according to the meter. Manatau he dun have change for RM5...Aiyoo...apa ni? He was like, Takpe la... give me any small change you have... What? Finally, I hand him RM 1.80. I kept saying sorry. Paiseh no. 3. I suddenly looked like a lost blur uni student saved by a sympathetic Taxi driver. Huh?

Thankful n shameful at the same moment, I walked into the bandroom with red face, dirty jeans n sandals. For goodness sake... What a day. The night goes on with song practice... Another over the top night... Seriously, i need to be in control. Too bad, my band mates are equally sotplak... XD. 

Awh, in TimeSquare, I bumped to Kelly... Although we have been high school mate, pre-uni mate...I know her better through her blog. A passionate blogger... Nice meeting you again...looking good gal =)

Ha...there goes my yesterday...

Friday, 14 January 2011

Give n Take =)

The latest song and probably last for me in NTLP (NewTune Live Performance)


Give N Take

Composed by my senior aka a great gal friend of mine Christine Tee XD

Today evening was my first practice. I have been looking forward to it as I have some idea in the song too. Well, im pretty musically incline although I cannot play any instrument in a proper way. I can feel that my singing has improved.

They let me keep my last note in high pitch... Yay XD

I'm glad to have these few band mates I grew to love n got familiar with...We'll have more fabulous time together ite!

Im happie tonite...Even when im boiling mad with KKM water system, my lips still curls upwards.

It's still there...=)

Nothing makes me happier than singing~

A friend who reads my blog thot the U I always mention was the sundae ice-cream guy. No no... He was, but no longer. For now...
I wanna continue liking U, just at those moments... and at this moment 

I know im one of a kind in your world and im glad i am, cuz for that you will always remember me.
U like my presence, maybe not as much as i like yours...

At this moment,

The silly me say, im satisfy.

Sunday, 9 January 2011

Final Thought.... yet

So have I reach my decision

I'm a born fighter! I'm very competitive in nature. Auditing Spanish makes me believe that I am not confidence in scoring it distinctly. So basically I am giving up before even trying out. I was doing some revision lately and I found out that my passion in Spanish is still strong. Scoring in something I love is not gonna be hard. I know efforts will eventually poured in.

So my final say is.... I'm not gonna audit this subject. 
But I really wanna do so for one of my majors "Animal Breeding'... Com'on... this stuff AGAIN? 

Ballroom dancing...Aiyer.. this one...Headache betul!!!

Samba or Jive. At noon I was close to calling it Jive. Then at night, I almost tell the world I wanted Samba. Now I don't know which I want!

Joanne a Joanne

Firstly I should set my priority.

What come 1st? 

>>>Learning more different genres of dance since this is my last sem?

>>>Set more time for NTLP 14 practices, preparation and performance?

>>>Put more effort in academic- FYP, majors... Do you really wanna grad JC?

Know my concerns y'll... I could do all these without much consideration if my time is well-managed. If I am well managed. Am I? Na....I'm giving reasons which are preventable... I know

I'm after all a homo-sapien. 

I learned something about myself when I asked for opinions in FB on which dance class I should choose. 

"u always so ur power then...can feel it...the"
"actually I really don't think that u will lack of confident..everytime u are dancing, I can see the fire. I really feel so..."

These came surprisingly. Though they started to confuse me about the choice I almost wanted to take, I am glad to hear something I normally don't see in myself. So when you enjoy doing something, your passion shines. Thanks guys.
 So, after much deliberations, big chance, I will go with Samba. Jive will have to depend whether I can persuade myself to take both. =) 
Extra... Well, bought CNY clothing le... Im seeking a killer heels now. Bought a can of Pedigree's meat for my dear dear. 
OMG! He loves it!!! And I couldn't be more delighted! 
I love U B 

I always wanna sore high and away... I always refer my life as a lil pet bird locked inside the cage. I'm loved by my master, giving all needs and attentions as demands. But it's never enough. Now that my master allows me to fly, but occasionally watches me from a far, I realize no matter how far I could reach, I miss home.
I am still the protected princess in my parent eyes. I can't deny it. Guess I should really appreciate and count my blessing more often. I always trying to be a better daughter... I am one. If only my bro could understand, this dysfunctional family can finally live as a real happy family...maybe.

Nobody wanna live in lies...