tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10956325745335075722024-03-13T19:24:31.426-07:00Jcdagreatjcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.comBlogger829125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-36288253766258050432018-08-04T09:55:00.002-07:002018-08-05T08:01:11.273-07:00Our 1st Anniversary / My 30th Birthday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-A6giVbuUBpM/W2XC6bdOPKI/AAAAAAAAFHo/TKJmxpkCVx8Wlwkg5JN2VMjIhKFjEn1mQCLcBGAs/s1600/PhotoGrid_1533395380900.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-A6giVbuUBpM/W2XC6bdOPKI/AAAAAAAAFHo/TKJmxpkCVx8Wlwkg5JN2VMjIhKFjEn1mQCLcBGAs/s400/PhotoGrid_1533395380900.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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What would have happened if i didnt choose to go to Ipoh trip in year 2015?</div>
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Would we even be friends?</div>
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We went through so much of denials and doubts before we walked into this commitment.</div>
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4 yrs apart and taking all the extremes and the outliers into calculation, it is surely a tough call. </div>
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Falling for you was easy. Loving you is hard. </div>
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Falling for me was hard. While loving me is easy.</div>
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My love would probably screaming hell to the no she is not easy to love. Haha....</div>
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But really, it is not hard to please me. I'm a sucker for romance and romance is time attention and love. Creativity is bonus.</div>
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For us to make this work, both need a lot of patience and love to conquer our differences.</div>
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We went through a total of 365 days fighting and making up and still find a reason to stay put. The fact that we took great effort to make this work, we dont simply give up for smallish issues.</div>
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He would never.</div>
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Falling in love for the 1st time at a mature age at 29 is a terrible idea fyi. </div>
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You have a matured mind with a childish teenage love heart. You could never fulfill both at the same time.</div>
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And dear love, stop loving you is impossible.</div>
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I only wish that our relationship continue to grow and blossom. </div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HaD1E9j-YnI/W2XC_dMw4AI/AAAAAAAAFHs/E2yKpgG0M0A9vHtCEdtWo778w-hjG0YAgCLcBGAs/s1600/PhotoGrid_1533394990446.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HaD1E9j-YnI/W2XC_dMw4AI/AAAAAAAAFHs/E2yKpgG0M0A9vHtCEdtWo778w-hjG0YAgCLcBGAs/s400/PhotoGrid_1533394990446.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Deary brought me to Cameron Highland knowing that I have never been there and that we have discussed about this place for quite awhile.</div>
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I hated the fact that we have to travel so far for it and it was so endangering with its travelling routes only limited to a few long and winded pathways.</div>
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Pity my love for such hard drive up the hill.</div>
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Whether or not the view and the air are worth the whole travelling tension, we did have a lovely dates of 3 days and 2 night stay at Copthorn Hotel.</div>
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I would put it this way. If you havent been there, you should plan and go for the experience. But if you have been there, you might wanna think twice if you got dated to go up again in the nearest time.</div>
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My love is trying to make my wishes come true one at a time. He remember things that he promises and things that matter to me. Although at times he could be having too much thoughts in his head and some over concern issues but that was exactly why i love this man. He cares and he thinks ahead. </div>
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At times he shows too little affection never taking in the fact that i would be borthered by little too less attention shown. </div>
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Deep down i know he loves me by slowly breaking his comfort zone for me.</div>
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Love is everthing with you.</div>
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Even if i have to lose everything, I know i will still have you. </div>
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When someone's voice calms the storm in you and bring comfort to your core, you know he is the one.</div>
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Love quote makes perfect sense when you fall in love. Whatever cheesy shits you read out there, they are all real. </div>
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When you love someone greater than yourself, you literally lay out your heart and put it on someone else's hand. You emplace the power on someone you trust more than yourself. </div>
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I was an emo girl but i wasnt a cheesy hardcore loveshit drama queen.</div>
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Now i write better stuff than them. </div>
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I hope many happy returns and wishes come true to your beautiful soul and your every kindness to others.</div>
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Happy 1st anniversary my love! </div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--Hj7zErZ73I/W2XDaLet4sI/AAAAAAAAFH4/4-m6H_hmkw8rST1Eev8DLPddFk0uKDU3gCLcBGAs/s1600/PhotoGrid_1533394411179.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--Hj7zErZ73I/W2XDaLet4sI/AAAAAAAAFH4/4-m6H_hmkw8rST1Eev8DLPddFk0uKDU3gCLcBGAs/s400/PhotoGrid_1533394411179.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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And on this very birthday, another gf of mine found her beloved. I am so happy for her.</div>
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That would be her 1st bday with a man who knows how to love her.</div>
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While, i really dont have much and wanted much as i grow elder. </div>
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I only wish i could be given enough years to celebrate more happiness with my love. </div>
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His happiness are mine.</div>
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My mom's health and peacefulness. </div>
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His and my families well being.</div>
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My friends happiness.</div>
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Thats all. Are they too much to ask for?</div>
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If I could trade my dreams for theirs, would you allow?</div>
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<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-82658372083116752412018-06-03T09:29:00.000-07:002018-06-03T22:29:10.788-07:00It feels right holding hand and locking fingers with you.<br />
It is the safest place on earth and is one of the best sense of security one can give another.<br />
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I find myself seeking for that feeling that i cant describe after my dog passing. And then i found you.<br />
You rescued me.<br />
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Every time we lock fingers, you reassured me that our love still persists even after quarrels and fights.<br />
That we still want this to work.<br />
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You gave me a platform for me to be myself comfortably. Our intimacy surpassed sexual satisfaction.<br />
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You often asked about my high tolerance and acceptable level in everything. While i often said it is only for you.<br />
You would do anything for your loved one as long as it pleases him.<br />
That level grows with love.<br />
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Your sweaty palms never bothers me. While you tolerate with my ego in times of madness.<br />
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You blow dry my hair while i pops your pimples.<br />
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:)<br />
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Thank you for fighting on for us love.<br />
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Thank you for staying with me.<br />
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Please be consistence, slowly chasing away my insecurities.<br />
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That is our only set back at the moment.<br />
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I hope you can feel my love from the very core of your body knowing i wishes you well, love and happiness.<br />
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The thought of losing you to things that hinders our relationship kills me.<br />
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I miss you already.<br />
<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-79287310490896274142018-05-13T07:34:00.000-07:002018-05-13T07:34:02.801-07:00I used to be a very vocal person.<br />
Lively. Talkative. Bubly. Those who know me along the years would be able to tell you how different i am now compared to those times.<br />
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I dont know what change me.<br />
Even if i dont talk much, i would write a lot.<br />
If only my english proficiency could do better, i would have engaged in journalism. Or as novalist. I still have this dream parked temporary aside so that i could stop day dreaming and start make a living, to make ends meet.<br />
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So yea, so the historical event has begin to settle down to more subtle mode. But it is still damn engaging and i just got so much to say but to no audience. Yea i can talk to my mom but she just not too interested in it. I can talk to my bf but we hardly talk really. So.... i feel imbalance at times.<br />
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I have been ignorance for a long time specifically things that could overworked my brain... but this one really spark an interest in me.<br />
Suddenly that dreams to write ignited again.<br />
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Sigh.<br />
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<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-55763278543573471712018-05-12T11:38:00.002-07:002018-05-13T07:29:35.463-07:00My New Malaysia. Negaraku Malaysia.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yjPD556ZW-4/WvcvbsYq8xI/AAAAAAAAFG4/yMr9u9U2AFQziR35b641qvJHiVjovBvGQCLcBGAs/s1600/20180509_105739.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yjPD556ZW-4/WvcvbsYq8xI/AAAAAAAAFG4/yMr9u9U2AFQziR35b641qvJHiVjovBvGQCLcBGAs/s320/20180509_105739.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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It has been a historical week for all Malaysian.</div>
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On the faithful day of May 9th 2018, Malaysian has shown a powerful will to overturn a corrupt government in the most democratic way in our 14th general election. </div>
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I have registered myself as a voter 1 year before the due date and I kept reminding myself that i could not affort to miss this event again after witnessing the horrer of how dirty and low the last election was. I decided there and then that this government has to go. </div>
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Thus, without studying much on what the opposition has to offer, i casted my vote to support them, my one humble vote and wishing hard that they will be granted a victory. After all, the oppostion group has been fighting for the past 60 years with no financial support and all of them came from very briliant educational background, all for the sake of speaking for Rakyat's wellfare. When all they fight for was not for the personal gain, you know they are pretty genuine. (other than for power of which they were denied pretty much and in term of wealth, they are pretty poor cuz they just depends on public donations of cuz it is different when you win a state or two of which the opposition only has 2 states)</div>
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So lets examine...</div>
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The right will, checked.</div>
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The passion and new blood, checked.</div>
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New direction and agendas, checked.</div>
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The rightful leader... erm... checked twice!</div>
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And then came Tun Mahatir wanting to right what was wrong and collectively binded all the opposition parties known as Pakatan Harapan. As the name suggested, a hint of hope to the country which was under the clouds of bribery at large, scandals shamed by all international news and Menteri with low life ill mannerism. </div>
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Thus came the battle. So many dramas and dirty tricks saw along the day. But the most alarming thing that surfaced out of this crazy ride was the displays of unity by rakyat in so many levels of supports. From the highest level by politician to the very minor details if supports being given by rakyat. </div>
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Media.. only certain pages in FB that runs independently manage to deliver us truthful news while other media were government linked.</div>
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A burst of patriotism suddenly ignite out of the blue no thanks to the sacrifices made by many unsung heroes that enable this miracle to happen.</div>
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On the 10th of May 2018. Malaysia made a world wide record for overturning a 60 yrs strong gigantic government by Barision National. </div>
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It shocked many if us specifically the Barisan Nasional team. Many dreams came true that very day. </div>
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Tun mahatir became the oldest prime minister being elected. </div>
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Despite many grandmother dramas of which are very disturbingly exciting, we manage to pull through successfully.</div>
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I have never been prouder to be called as a Malaysian.</div>
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A reborn. A reformation. A clean start. However this is only the beginning. I hope the country will continue to be blessed with inteligence and dignity.</div>
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That the government elected by Rakyat will do its very best for Malaysian 1st and foremost.</div>
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And to hunt for those corrupt individuals.</div>
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I love my country. </div>
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<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-76212167947437560692018-05-06T09:08:00.001-07:002018-05-06T09:08:17.473-07:00An influencial lady said on the tv that pregnancy makes a woman better likewise when a woman is very much loved by her man.<br />
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I am sold for that.<br />
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Cuz i am that kind of person. I wont be agreeing to every advise my man has given me but i will do it out of love and guilt shall i not listen to the man who love me genuinely.<br />
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As at now he was kinda successful halfway. Sometimes. I know he care. At times i need more commitment and evidence. And plus i am stubborn. Not many people are allow to lecture me.<br />
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I am very happy that you finally become much better and stronger in person. Except that big panda eyes u have, you appear okay. So energetic :)<br />
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I really like it when u blow my hair dry. That was a sweet lovely gesture. It feels intimate.<br />
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I like you singing infront of me. Although sometimes you just purposely do it to annoy me, i feel warm knowing that u feel at ease and that you are trying to tease and make me laugh at the silly tricks of yours.<br />
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I like it when u told me about your family. Your past stories cuz it holds values from where you came from and how they shape you into you.<br />
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I already miss you so bad.<br />
I wanna hold your hand and feel you next to me.<br />
That would be waiting till another paktor date.<br />
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Take care baby.<br />
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Best wishes and blessing for your mama and your family.<br />
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Be strong dear.<br />
I wish you find your happiness again and i wish that i got to contribute into your well being.jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-9806664932006934092018-04-22T08:33:00.003-07:002018-04-22T08:33:55.513-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The old place we called it.</div>
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The mall we frequent to. </div>
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The first place you fulfilled my desire to eat the most expensive ice cream</div>
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that i know of.</div>
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That day i knew that a boy remembered his promise.</div>
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And today he is my one and only.</div>
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I have yet to eat my second cone cuz we were always late and in a rush for dinner or movie.</div>
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I dont know what is there for us in the coming days but right now holding hand with you wherever we are is my favourite activity.</div>
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I only wish for your good health physically and emotionally. </div>
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The rest of others issues like suitability and insecurities... i guess time will tell. There is no one man show in a relationship.</div>
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I cant force things that speaks answers to my doubts. Thus i might as well just leave it to the flow. </div>
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My heart knows better.</div>
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When it comes to feeling, im not confused.</div>
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Only when it comes to action, im restricted by emotion.</div>
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You say that there is no maths in relationship. There is no ratio or amount of who loves who better or more. </div>
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You just love and let things come naturally.</div>
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Fair share of love is never too overwhelming to ask for right?</div>
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Despite everything else, i had a great limited hours with him. Im glad he is getting better.</div>
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Please keep your health as priority.</div>
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<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-38173926433553464392018-04-03T09:45:00.002-07:002018-04-03T09:48:46.624-07:00When i was most down, 2 of my best friends sensed that and quickly texted me if im okay.<br />
<br />
I guess their sensitivity matches mine. Haha...<br />
I was really touched and im happy that despite we hardly meet one another, you girls just know me.<br />
<br />
Joanne and Kheng, thank you. If i was on the verge of suicide, you gals might have just saved my life.<br />
<br />
But i wasnt.<br />
<br />
I was really having a bad mood and bad thoughts.<br />
Work and relationship and my family.<br />
<br />
All of them are out of my control and i was not able to calm my mind at all.<br />
<br />
But then i realized i got my friends worried. And it was the time i gotta wake up.<br />
<br />
We have talked again about my feeling and although i was not convinced by his words, i know he cares. We dated over the weekend after a fucking deadly week in the bank.<br />
<br />
It finally feels like our good old time in the longest time.<br />
<br />
It is almost one year since your mom passing.<br />
That whole month was so dreadful for us and i never ever want you to go through that period anymore. Never again.<br />
I cried almost everyday thinking of your well being while try to be tough to cover both your needs and work.<br />
<br />
I wanted to hold you so badly and just let you release but i couldnt. You dont want me there.<br />
<br />
Tell me love. Talk to me.<br />
<br />
Anything that i could so long my love persist.<br />
My vow to our love.<br />
<br />
To her. To you.<br />
<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-30903799144342394802018-03-16T10:51:00.000-07:002018-04-03T09:27:49.160-07:00.....<br />
<br />
I guess i really have been hiding and lazying for a good long time. Hmmp how many months have I been away from being viewable?<br />
<br />
Well im just being dramatic. So short of time. So many things has or going to happen.<br />
<br />
Only time will tell if those things are good or bad.<br />
My Biz M got promoted to another branch as branch manager. While internal promotion got my OIC to become new biz M. Already foresee many disturbances and changes in negative ways. I dont wish to stay put in this hellish place too.<br />
<br />
While, same old same old.<br />
I have been feeling grey as usual.<br />
Nothing too fancy.<br />
<br />
Still wondering how much my boy loves me.<br />
Still wondering how to love and be loved.<br />
Without meeting mutual needs, how long can we last?<br />
<br />
Sometimes when i look at you and i feel so unsure of us.<br />
There is so much love i have for you but i dont know which way to channel to you.<br />
While i continue to wonder why am i having this feeling that you dont love me enough.<br />
<br />
How enough? What is enough you may ask?<br />
When you feel it is enough, that is enough.<br />
<br />
I feel so lacking.<br />
You resisted to feed me assurance.<br />
I dont know why.<br />
I wonder by the time you tell me that you love me, we have probably lose this fight.<br />
<br />
There were times i teared up when i think about us, because the idea of breaking up crosses my mind.<br />
It hurts me to even think about it. This detachment would destroy me.<br />
<br />
I suppose breaking up with someone you love is harder than breaking up with someone who loves you more.<br />
The empathy bond is easier to break than a addictive bond.<br />
<br />
I have tried to convince myself to find the hidden 'i love u' sign in everything you say or do. So little reference. So little indicators.<br />
I am really tired. Im so very tired.<br />
Everything is taking a toll on me.<br />
People that i wasnt given the option to choose.<br />
And they werent very kind.<br />
Everything is so stressing but please dont be you.<br />
<br />
I shouldnt be stressing over your unquestionable love for me.<br />
I should be celebriting everytime someone ask about us.<br />
I should be lighted up whenever i speak of you.<br />
<br />
The thought of breaking up got me chocked up.<br />
Does it ever cross your mind too?<br />
<br />
Dear love,<br />
<br />
Im a deprived being and im sorry if i make you suffocate too.<br />
Im like a black hole that sucks you away from being you.<br />
<br />
If this denied yearning and self doubts continues, i am scare that i will make the wrong decision.<br />
<br />
Either way we may end up making the wrongest decision.<br />
But i dont want you to be wrong.<br />
<br />
I love u, still.<br />
<br />
You have start to pick up a new hobby. Something that doesnt involve me cuz i have no expertise on and we dont see me wanting to pick the interest up.<br />
<br />
The new hobby requires your focus and dilligence and time investment. Im happy that you find your passion.<br />
But will that passion require you to sacrifice our already sacred time together?<br />
<br />
It feels like de javu...<br />
Will we continue to drift apart?<br />
:(<br />
<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-69285886615004544242018-02-14T08:56:00.002-08:002018-02-14T19:30:02.503-08:00My funny valentine.<br />
<br />
My unconventional boyfriend.<br />
<br />
Our 1st. I wish it is not the last.<br />
<br />
I hope that everytime i cry you would cradle me just like yesterday.<br />
<br />
It was the safest embrace i ever had.<br />
<br />
I dont want to cry because of you or us.<br />
<br />
Im sorry i couldnt shake the mood away.<br />
I was so bothered by yesterday stubornness and my ego. Then she has to come in the picture and ruin my day. Why must she ruin my day?! What did i owe you??<br />
<br />
With the stupid delayed period and these unneccessory disturbance, i got so caught up with emotion. I cant see pass them. Im not happy with it. I just want to have a good day with my baby.<br />
<br />
I dont have many days like that. I have countable hours. I need my assurance fed. I dont want to share these hours with others.<br />
<br />
Please help me.<br />
How do i fix this?<br />
<br />
Instead of really just enjoy the times we had, i end up spoiling my own date.<br />
<br />
Im sorry dear.<br />
<br />
Im so suffocated.<br />
<br />
We dont know how to love each other the right way.<br />
<br />
Thanks for your sweet gesture to my mom. I know it is out of your comfort zone.<br />
<br />
You are a good man.<br />
And i love you.<br />
<br />
But i would like to have less days questioning if you do love me the same.<br />
<br />
May we have more great dates ahead so that every date is my valentine's day.<br />
<br />
So that i dont fuss any specific date that i couldnt have enough or not celebrated.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-65876462642529981632018-02-10T09:37:00.001-08:002018-02-10T21:16:36.386-08:00My bff said that me and my boyfriend is in a crisis.<br />
<br />
Haha... what a brilliant way to call the situation'ship'.<br />
<br />
Despite the fact that i truly love him. And the fact that he said he do too.<br />
Wait. He never say he loves me.<br />
Words are cheesy huh? So, he is a man with action.<br />
But with limited action so i guess at times i feel it, many a time i dont.<br />
<br />
I dont believe it wholeheartedly. I really would want to. But i dont know how for now. I dont even know if this is my insecurity issues or lack of convincing actions by le bf.<br />
<br />
I was touched when he drove me to hq interview last wednesday all the way from tampin to seremban and to KL. A short paktor date. I was more looking forward to our short paktor date than the exploratory interview. The interview could be a big deal, could be not. But i dont think i present myself too well. More like a lecture in the room.<br />
<br />
This is how rare our dates are. So sacred. So precious.<br />
Despite the fact that we worked under the same roof and that his physical hometown is 45 min from mine.<br />
<br />
When logics came into the debate against defenses that my heart keeps throwing in, i become very unbalance.<br />
<br />
I just cannot deny that a lot of times i really feel lonely. And i wonder after the talk we had on that evening, will things get better?<br />
<br />
I will never force you do things that you wouldnt do. But if that is the right thing to do, you might need to perhaps work on your comfort zone and weight on the importance of them. Maybe you have yet to have confidence in our relationship. That is the only reason i could name which loosely translate that you dont love me that much... hmmp. Maybe i think too much but this is exactly how i feel. Do you ever feel that i love you any less? You will only feel i love you too much. Feeling cant lie.<br />
<br />
I dont bug you too much on daily basis cuz i know you dont like it. While you dont know how to make me feel secure... maybe you just dislike doing that.<br />
You got better things to do than to make your gf feel good eventhough she dont see you daily.<br />
<br />
I dont know if this is the way you love your gurlfriend. Maybe your ex never demanded too much from you. But i dont want to be your ex and im not your ex yet.<br />
<br />
When a woman feel something is off, mostly it is true. When i feel that you dont love me, you either dont love me enough. Or you just dont.<br />
<br />
You have not even date me for vday. You may be a traditional man with no excitement to all these dates or anniversary. But if you dont expect me to expect that i wish to spend those days with you, then we are really in a serious crisis. I even have to remind you that i have friends waiting for me if i am available on Vday. I dont want to spend the day wasted feeling alone when i actually have a bf. If that is so, your presence have no value to me. Or i guess maybe it is my presence that possess no value to you.<br />
<br />
We dont get to spend much time together. Thus specific datings becomes crucial to me.<br />
Last year you wish me happy valentine day on 11.45pm after i came out watching deadpool with my bestfriend. We were stuck in the phase of courtship then.<br />
But if this year you make me wait for your invitation but only to dissapoint me and do the same as last year. I will break up with you.<br />
To prevent this catastrophic event, i have alerted you on my back up plan. And demanded you to tell me if you would want to spend the day with me. If not please do tell me earlier.<br />
Now, am i being overwhelming?<br />
Have i not been kind and considerate?<br />
Im giving my bf a way out for him to excuse himself shall he not wanted to spend vday with me.<br />
<br />
To be honest, having a bf doesnt mean you need to have him in my every day life. But if having bf but still living like i have nobody, then something must be wrong. He become merely like a good dreams which visited me some days in a month.<br />
<br />
<br />
Help me to understand this.<br />
I dont know how to calm mountains of questions and discomfort.<br />
We have talked many times about this. The outcome are still the same.<br />
At the end i only got myself to blame cuz i demanded too much.<br />
<br />
Maybe im just needy.<br />
Im sorry.<br />
<br />
Help me battle this inner devil.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-64744234123353932762018-01-27T08:27:00.001-08:002018-01-27T08:27:19.014-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2Vzq9-YRrXE/Wmyh7lJ7XoI/AAAAAAAAFFg/y5rXma0qeDkl5OrqudpKVygK0I9Uha00QCLcBGAs/s1600/20180127_235831.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1005" data-original-width="1005" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2Vzq9-YRrXE/Wmyh7lJ7XoI/AAAAAAAAFFg/y5rXma0qeDkl5OrqudpKVygK0I9Uha00QCLcBGAs/s400/20180127_235831.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I set myself a new FB page. </div>
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Instead of spamming my wall i can spam a page of which people will choose to stay put with my random wisdom quotes, by willingness.</div>
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Lmao.</div>
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I have wanted to do it for a long time.</div>
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I love poetic. But im no way close to Lang leav.</div>
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And i have so much things to talk about but not many of them can be publicly discussed. And all my friends are so far away from me. Imagine a book full of lives but sitting in a shelf with no attention given. Yea... that is me. </div>
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And my blog is far from any sign of positivity. </div>
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Thus it has been refrained from being share out and im hiding it time to time to prevent satelites and loud speakers to tell everyone my unpublic love story. </div>
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Yet. Not yet. I dont know how and why and when it would be. Dont ask me. Decision is not in my hand. </div>
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Leo has always been open. I would have wanted the world to be happy for me that im lovingly attached. I would love to share how nice it has been to finally call him mine. Or yet. Of cuz along with many hiccups and some dramatic nonsense and pms posts with lotsa unspoken sourness from just my point of unfair views. </div>
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Im just playing along the rules.</div>
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The volcano is still young and immature. Before it stabilizes i guess it is wise everyone leave this volcano alone to work out its things. </div>
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Yes. Let us work out fine and when things is finally right, my man will proudly acknowledge and announce our romance accordingly.</div>
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I bet he wont. But we will see. </div>
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Does it matter?</div>
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As an assurance to my insecurities and my pride, yes it does matter.</div>
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...</div>
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I think i dont just have ocd. Im developing cronic multiple personality disorder too. Muahahaha...</div>
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Before the kind and lovely joanne came back into the picture.. imma gonna post this out and unprivate my account again. </div>
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So long beaches. 😏👿</div>
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<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-18337111695122478772018-01-23T08:20:00.002-08:002018-01-23T08:20:53.840-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Our dates do not come easy. So it makes so much sense for me to have every date a highlight. Silly me. I wonder if this happen to other people too.</div>
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Im so happy with most Sunway Velocity has to offer. Both the accommodation and the mall.</div>
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And of course him.</div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ibyOq8Q0a6Q/WmdbOADTMFI/AAAAAAAAFFI/reQ_dOPoULcJ9XxbUQj-pgZ49tmPItBRwCLcBGAs/s1600/20180120_195232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ibyOq8Q0a6Q/WmdbOADTMFI/AAAAAAAAFFI/reQ_dOPoULcJ9XxbUQj-pgZ49tmPItBRwCLcBGAs/s400/20180120_195232.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
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I love it when you smile and started to take care of yourself.</div>
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Posting this made me miss you already.</div>
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There will be another long break before we can pamper ourselves again. :(</div>
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Sales convention is this coming weekend and you would be occupied with people and functions.</div>
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Take good care and relax dear.</div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ws2KC5s90p4/WmdbSZdhiSI/AAAAAAAAFFM/JpHPaHyDalUiKZRsxiMWnChJxrVR_WL-QCLcBGAs/s1600/20180120_195230.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ws2KC5s90p4/WmdbSZdhiSI/AAAAAAAAFFM/JpHPaHyDalUiKZRsxiMWnChJxrVR_WL-QCLcBGAs/s400/20180120_195230.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
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He doesnt really like taking photo and being taken in photo. So these are all candid shots.</div>
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I was very moody after you sent me home. And the talk we had about the problem im facing made me certain that i did not choose the wrong guy.</div>
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You are not just a listener, you are a thinker. You solve problems.</div>
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You can be reliable if you care and im glad im in the priority list. </div>
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Thank you dear.</div>
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If only i can have more of you instead of just hearing most of you.</div>
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<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-7110325571978100892018-01-02T07:25:00.000-08:002018-01-02T08:10:05.081-08:002017/2018. Wishing upon the stars.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Happy Birthday Love</div>
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Thank you Mrs Koo for such a beautiful man you made him be. </div>
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Bless him with good health and happiness for him to continue your legacy, to care for the family.</div>
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He is a wonderful sweet family boy :)</div>
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I will support his route to recovery and continuous passion to be well in life, as long as i am capable of.</div>
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Checked in on the eve of new year to Ibis Style KL hotel after much negotiation with babe for which accomodation to choose from. He said must get the best deal wor... I made a special noting to the hotel that we have a birthday boy and we came into the room with this view. </div>
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I was laughing so hard and was jumping around. I think i was more amused by it than it surprises my boy. But he kept the balloon fight on and obviously i was the victim. Ciss... i provided him bullet to knock me out.... notty ass. </div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8QBAtAFqnEg/Wktxwta0P2I/AAAAAAAAFEw/5OkLZv_hBUwuapAalL9f3iLo_1NlfGspQCLcBGAs/s1600/20180101_154407.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8QBAtAFqnEg/Wktxwta0P2I/AAAAAAAAFEw/5OkLZv_hBUwuapAalL9f3iLo_1NlfGspQCLcBGAs/s400/20180101_154407.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
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Feast for my king.</div>
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New year at Mid Valey. We tried the premium GSC seats for the movie All The Money In The World. Damn the seats. Very uncomfortable. Why are the more expensive seats got my back feeling more sore... Hmmp.</div>
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We end the day by singing the whole night away. The last time we sang karaoke was in July. The month we almost called it quit. </div>
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Baby has a great voice. Wasted if he does not train it and get it be judged if it could potentially goes somewhere. </div>
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Didnt manage to blow a candle with you this year. Im not even sure if you would want to. But i think a prayer, a warm wish and a sincere thought for your well being and our well being are more delightful.</div>
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2017 broke your heart and forces you to be strong regardless you are ready or not. Not a day im okay knowing you are not fine. </div>
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Who are we kidding right?</div>
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Recovery is just a word we use to tell people hey, i have move on. Life goes on and i have to brave the world with an obvious heartbreak you cant possibly see but guess what? I have n will continue to live on.</div>
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And you would and im not gonna let you face it alone. I thought i couldnt take care of someone else anymore after my dog passed on. </div>
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Never know how love really functions huh? </div>
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It this isnt love, i dont know what it is at all. </div>
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Dear love, i could never replace the most important lady in your life. </div>
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But i hope when you see me, you can see a similar warm, love, confidence and joy in me.</div>
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Embrace every low for every celebration because it will never be the same. Be brave.</div>
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2018; to ensure and help my love rise up. Let him and family be protected. Let them be blessed with health and family harmonious.</div>
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Blessed my family and let their dreams come true.</div>
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And my best friends too... hope they all continue to be well and happy.</div>
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Mine? Lets just ensure all of them get what they wish for while ill take care of myself. </div>
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I just seek for the luxury of freedom for space n time to travel places with my love. </div>
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That would be very nice. </div>
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Im not hard to negotiate with. Im not greedy for myself. That is a great deal right? </div>
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Im not ready to face 2018.</div>
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But i cant wait to detach 2017 either.</div>
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So i kinda stuck in this stuffy buffer period and thank goodness im not working these 2 days.</div>
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Happy marriage Woon Pei Chen. Sorry i missed your wedding. I wish nothing but the very best marriage life ahead of you. You sweet petite bunny, be happy always okay?!</div>
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2017; a year of loss and gain.</div>
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I dont know how life judges its nature and how it truly works. The best person might not be able to get to live longer while the innocents cant be exempted from sickness and pain. And then there are us striving to live and not always being contented.</div>
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And there are others who couldnt get passed dramas, traumas... </div>
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Life is too short. You never know it is over until it is too late. Some people never get to say goodbye.</div>
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Yet many of us take it for granted of what we already have. Sinners. When will i learn too?</div>
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2018 resolution! Lets just keep things simple.</div>
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1. Work out lar... 52kg in 3 months.</div>
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2. Promotion by year end.</div>
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3. Dress well to work every fucking day!</div>
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30 is my new 27!</div>
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Kthxbai. Ciao!</div>
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<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-26146873798391544812017-12-29T09:01:00.000-08:002017-12-29T09:01:02.462-08:00Made my love a special dedicated gift.<br />
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I hope he loves it.<br />
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He has demanded not to have any gift or surprise.</div>
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No special celebration or whatsoever.</div>
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Hmmp. All planning to go on budget. </div>
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Save for emergency.<br />
Omg! Mana mia rumah orang tua this old soul came from?<br />
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Dear...<br />
You didnt make it easy on me. Not doing anything is a no no for leo. Im more excited for your birthday than my own. If you put a scale and measurement on what can or cannot be done, it will restrict my creativity on how i can execute my inner passion to make your day.<br />
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But i know this year, laying low is a better option as a respect to your family. I promise to unleofied myself. But no next time.<br />
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It has been the longest since i ever plan for anyone's bday or make so much effort to pull this off.<br />
So next time just let me okay?<br />
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Im learning many things through you. All of my ignorants are gonna be expelled soon. Thanks to you. A lady being too independant is not a good sign too yea. Haha...<br />
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My last day at work.<br />
Old work debts are not paid.<br />
Such ironic.<br />
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Walking out from bank defeated. Admitting defeat to time and my fatique n sickness. Dizzy for the whole of the day. Mc for the past 2 days. Being the last soilder walking out of the warzone i consider myself a winner. Hmmp. I even forgotten the plan to take a last day at job 2017 selfie.<br />
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Sudah la...<br />
Sudah tua.<br />
X de mood selfie with makeupless face + sick cat mia face. Langsung no selera. Lolz<br />
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Gotta dig deep n find new passion to work next year. Climb some ladders and show some power. Sudah jadi dead fish 2 years dy.<br />
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Mari lah.<br />
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The one who excel during difficult times is the gloriest one. The only chance to replace old shit with new shit.<br />
I hate my current old shit works.<br />
Huhu... new shits possibly come with more pay n bonus. No harm trying kan.<br />
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Come la promotion. Hr see me please. Boss bias me pls. Haiz.<br />
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Time to really dress well.<br />
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jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-88299560639462943462017-12-26T07:33:00.002-08:002017-12-26T07:33:14.384-08:003rd Christmas #withyou<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Merry Christmas Dear.</div>
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Our courtship started off with a xmas date :)</div>
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Only this time we walk hand in hand.</div>
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It feels like a full circle. </div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3gi4CAg08yY/WkJmOv97cgI/AAAAAAAAFEc/FnK9ar8RNvMi-AL4cGDcOrgigIY8NXM5gCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_20151225_014225.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3gi4CAg08yY/WkJmOv97cgI/AAAAAAAAFEc/FnK9ar8RNvMi-AL4cGDcOrgigIY8NXM5gCLcBGAs/s400/IMG_20151225_014225.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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2 years back.</div>
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My favourite festival + malaysia biggest xmas tree + my love = sweet.</div>
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A wonderful eve. The best to date.</div>
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Thanks for bringing me here.</div>
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Cant wait for our new year date.</div>
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<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-52740290649782996352017-12-12T10:24:00.000-08:002017-12-12T10:45:14.413-08:00If one day my relationship gone haywired i think imma declare war with pms.<br />
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Lol<br />
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I really wish to love like it was no body business.<br />
Just me and my man. Dismiss those who doesnt matters. Other than family and close friends why would others be any matter?<br />
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I cant go public with it.<br />
I cant confirm or deny my relationship to others.<br />
I cant express my excitement and i cant even express my sadness.<br />
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Its killing to have this overbearing sensitivity.<br />
I feel a lot.<br />
Changes in your tone or typing pattern would got my brain juice working n pumping.<br />
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While, when i miss you ill be behaving like a 5 years old cry baby throwing tantrums.<br />
Dont leave me unattended.<br />
Little affection goes a long way.<br />
Little coldness got me feeling blue.<br />
Imagine little sweetness could get me over the moon. It isnt very hard.<br />
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The hardest part is always to get my big mouth saying the right thing and talk about it like a grown up. I thought falling in love on the ripe age at 29 would make me more mature in dealing with relationship.<br />
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I thought wrong.<br />
Being in my 1st relationship meaning there are so much of expectation. So much of yearning and so much desire. While being so clueless i am also very curious. In this phase of a few months old relationship, despite having a foundation of 1 year, i need a lot of assurance. That we are fine. That things are good.<br />
That we gonna get through this well.<br />
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We said we are going to have a good communication whenever system break down. Tried it done that and they often went well. Like a nut and a screwdriver. I often get loose and you would need to fix me up. Too much of fixation would probably made you feel fed up and i might not be worthy to keep up with.<br />
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Hmmp. Since when i become high maintanence?<br />
:(<br />
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Problem is i overfeel and overcare.<br />
One side of me wanting the world.<br />
One side of me wanting the world for u.<br />
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I truly wish you have patience with me love.<br />
I just really miss you and wanted our own space n time enough to kill my anxiety.<br />
Those present restrictions are not helping and im not sure when n how would they be set free.<br />
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I guess i need to have a life outside this relationship.<br />
The fact that we are gonna live like we are in long distance relationship.<br />
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I care about you so much sometimes i wish i could really hold back spilled childish feeling i potrayed.<br />
Im sorry love. I dont wish you to feel pressure but at certain time i really could use a hug.<br />
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Im happy being with you and i wish to still have that level of comfort and happiness when im not with you.<br />
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I hope that you feel that im worth the hassle and we could work this out in a long run. Be patient with me dear.<br />
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One thing i love about you is your patience with me during our courtship. To stay long enough to see the best in me.<br />
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Will you still do?<br />
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<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-21679884789042895322017-11-26T08:22:00.003-08:002017-11-26T08:22:50.507-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Baby said we have been there and i have told him that i wanna be back.</div>
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I forgotten what i have said but he remembered them.</div>
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But due to my memory being so expended, i manage to guess it out after a few hints.</div>
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What was supposed to be a badminton game leads me to I-City cuz he wanted me to bring sport shoes. And to fulfill my surprise quota my deary have to think of a way to get me get my sportshoes without telling me the truth.</div>
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Isnt that sweet :)</div>
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On the way up to the giant ferris wheel. He knew i wanted to get up there so bad. We end up taking the trip there twice due to rain.</div>
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Fortunately we stayed in a walking distance hotel.</div>
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Capricorn at its best they often deliver well planned agenda. The details that he went through and research that he did before hand never fail to amaze me. </div>
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No wonder i was being scrutinize before being made as le gf. As long as we are together now. The past let it be past i guess. Revisiting past gets me no where.</div>
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I love every moment with you dear. </div>
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I hope i made your day wonderful too, now and always.</div>
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jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-38241627529964164962017-11-17T09:24:00.001-08:002017-11-17T09:24:23.776-08:0018th Nov 2017.<br />
<br />
Dear love.<br />
<br />
It's a happy family affair for your family. 2nd brother is getting married.<br />
May he and wifey be blessed with great harmonius marriage and health to all of you.<br />
<br />
I know it is gonna be quite heavy hearted for u and family due to the absence of your beloved mom.<br />
Be strong baby. She would want you all to be happy and continue to make her wishes come true.<br />
<br />
I dont dare to bring this up to you with you in the conversation. I know it will bring sorrow. Not that if we dont touch on the topic or we dont mention then you will be okay. But at least i let you take the lead. If you ever feel the comfort to talk to me and tell me your feeling i would love to hear every bit.<br />
I dont like to put you in a position where you feel uncomfortable. You never like surprises. You definitely dont like to do things unprepared.<br />
<br />
I dont know if my guess was right dear.<br />
Not bringing this up might risk you thinking that im not caring enough to comfort your feeling at moment like this. Or not sensitive enough to console you knowing that these few days will be heavy for you.<br />
<br />
I remember you asking for time and space whenever you feel down and emotional. As hopeless and reluctant as i am, i have to spare you privacy.<br />
God knows how blessed i am in consoling another being. At least to you im not the best.<br />
<br />
Dear love.<br />
Be moderate.<br />
Easier said than done.<br />
But you're stronger than you know.<br />
You can do it.<br />
<br />
Please be well love.<br />
Your well being is my priority.<br />
<br />
Sometimes i wish you read me between my lines. Sometimes i wish you know me more than i could present to you.<br />
I wish you would satisfy with both my truths and my flaws.<br />
Because when i choose you, i choose a betterman.<br />
I didnt choose the frame.<br />
I love you enough to still choose you shall the frame continue to change.<br />
<br />
Dont let me think twice.<br />
Im learning to be better in a relationship while i hope you continue to learn how to love me better.<br />
<br />
I could be difficult at times but im not impossible.<br />
<br />
Haha... poetic ke hapeh...<br />
<br />
Muaks.<br />
<br />
Wondering when we can come out as a couple publicly.<br />
<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-38423751908337010272017-11-14T08:06:00.000-08:002017-11-14T08:06:55.270-08:004th years and moving on.<br />
<br />
Missing our hugs. Every great of your good morning.<br />
<br />
Your bad breath and your craving for food always.<br />
<br />
This year i hold on to my love to go through this hell day.<br />
<br />
Im pretty sure he is clueless on my mood swing and im not sure if he remember this. But i prefer to really just enjoy his company while he filled me in with comfort and love.<br />
<br />
Dear love,<br />
<br />
I finally know what i have been waiting for.<br />
I would love to have more mondate like that please.<br />
Thank you for not giving me up.<br />
Thank you for loving me.<br />
<br />
:')<br />
<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-88030849450174974182017-11-04T23:10:00.000-07:002017-11-04T23:10:02.815-07:00Its november again.<br />
4th years of living without you is due soonest.<br />
Maybe yesterday we talked about dogs at my bff's parents bday bash. My bff she has 4 pooddles at her house.<br />
<br />
So my baby came to my dream. Again the dream was set up at the old rented house.<br />
Maybe he was happier there. I dont know.<br />
I saw him yelping discomfort cuz he poo poo in the house and he definitely need to get out of the compound.<br />
<br />
Prior to that he gotta lick n kiss me in the face and i was like baby... you just shitted and now u lick me... omg.<br />
<br />
I let him anyway. Like always. I almost forget how it feels like. That was his way of showing affection for the precious 10 years we had.<br />
<br />
As i walked him out, he started chasing something. Something moving so fast but i couldnt see it. It was a snake. That was the most ridiculous crazy fastest moving baby snake. Baby was chasing it while it seems like it was chasing me.<br />
That chaos.... adoi.<br />
<br />
I was so scare he got hurt.<br />
Then i jolted awake.<br />
Under semi consciousness, i started wondering if baby was okay. Has my mom walked my baby this morning. If my mom going to nag me cuz she gotta walk him out this morning instead of me?<br />
<br />
Then i remember baby is no longer here.<br />
He is gone.<br />
Calm down.<br />
He is gone.<br />
It was just a dream.<br />
Slowly i dooze off again.<br />
But i knew i wouldnt have a good day when i see the light.<br />
<br />
Maybe he misses me.<br />
Maybe i miss him too.<br />
<br />
Yes. I miss him much.<br />
That longingness is undescribable.<br />
Irreplacable.<br />
<br />
4 years of searching for something and nothing comes right.<br />
<br />
Love is not something you can replace.<br />
Love is a conscious affair.<br />
A voluntary contract you walk into.<br />
A silent promise to uphold the commitment.<br />
A foundation you vow to nurture and protect.<br />
<br />
This permanent guilt and lost will not find its closure.<br />
<br />
Until i found this familiar feeling i long lost.<br />
I found you.<br />
My new chapter begins.<br />
Lets have a good one :)<br />
<br />
I knew baby will be happy for me.<br />
You will always be my 1st love until i breathe my last breath.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Vol 4.</blockquote>
<br />
<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-38122698520653108262017-11-04T09:22:00.000-07:002017-11-04T09:22:01.430-07:00Losing you is not an option baby.<br />
<br />
You rope me in and there is no way i can easily let go of us.<br />
<br />
I want you here and now, all the time.<br />
I hope we can spend more time together.<br />
<br />
You got me smilling when you sang that i was always on your mind.<br />
It better be. But im a sucker for romance anyway.<br />
Haha... im sticky and i know it.<br />
<br />
Till our feeling fades.<br />
Till then, i promise to love and be yours always.<br />
<br />
I hope we walk on strong along the life line.<br />
<br />
I miss you.<br />
<br />
<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-47023700303349752652017-10-28T01:30:00.004-07:002017-10-28T03:48:18.875-07:00Yours.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Was it too early? Will it ever be too early?</div>
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Mostly it is just the perception of time.</div>
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Am i ready? Will i ever be ready?</div>
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<br /></div>
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I was very much certain with my choice from the very beginning. Our relationship was a delying one and i didnt get to make a decision for us. But when it finally materialized, the up coming decision become mine.</div>
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<br /></div>
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There was no hesitation. There was no doubt.</div>
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My certainty was as solid as rock. </div>
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I choose you and i will choose u one thousand times over again.<br />
<br />
It came so natural and it was a no brainer to me.<br />
That requires a lot of trust and love.<br />
With you, those were never a question deary.<br />
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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The day started late and we checked in around 5pm.</div>
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It was a gloomy day. Whole of seremban was in heavy rain for 2 hours.</div>
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But PD was superbly kind. Windy and lovely weather. I got pranked by love. I was told that we would be going to have a staycation at a place called WinWin boutique hotel which really exists cuz i went for a checking myself earlier.</div>
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<br />
We drove to Avillion Admiral Cove hotel cuz he set me up to be the driver while he check the waze and the whole we-got-lost story and the urgency of a nature call. </div>
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<br /></div>
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It was the sweatest prank ever and i cant believe he pulled it off so romantically. And boy isnt him charming the whole of yesterday.</div>
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Waking up to this beautiful sea view.</div>
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Way to win me, love.</div>
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Muaksss.</div>
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The view over breakfast strolling.</div>
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Dinner at restaurant by the beach. Food... meh.</div>
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But the beach... i bet the sand feels soft as powder.</div>
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But love catches a cold and it was too dark to walk about. </div>
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Make up-less face. We both hardly get some sleep. Hmmp. Unfamiliar bed and 2 insomnia kakies....</div>
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Pity baby. He was so tired :(</div>
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And he gotta work on a Saturday.</div>
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Making our gateway even shorter.</div>
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Thank you love for everything.</div>
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You dont talk about love very much but you show it whenever we have time for us.</div>
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Love u.</div>
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Vol 3.</div>
<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-38535048737695826192017-10-21T22:43:00.000-07:002017-10-23T09:42:27.235-07:00Dear Love.<br />
<br />
*shy*****<br />
<br />
It's crazy how one person can make you feel so shy but brave at the same time.<br />
It's crazy how you know how much you can love one person so much and receive it back at the same time.<br />
<br />
This journey came so late to me and i dont know what is the reason behind all these delays. But eventually it leads me to you. If those passer-bys have worked out then i wouldnt have met you.<br />
<br />
Cheesy but true.<br />
<br />
2 days ago i didnt intentionally find fault with you but we kinda adopt this "please tell all or we are pretty done" kinda communication and it happened.<br />
So i asked you so many questions which i normally will bring to grave with my mouth sealed shut no thanks to my ego.<br />
<br />
And you answered them with sincerity of which i took it without much doubts. That kills away my anxieties and my discomforts. After all i just want to understand. And all i ever wanted is to know why having no comparison as guidence.<br />
<br />
I know i have my demands and i dont want you to felt chocked up. But i wanted this relationship to work and not just let go like previous flings.<br />
Im not sure i can lose you like anyone else before you.<br />
<br />
Unless you wanted to let me go.<br />
<br />
And so came our 3rd week dried non dated date.<br />
You were mostly occupied with work while i just keep waiting untill we finally have the time of our own.<br />
<br />
Seen you so hardworking made me feel pleased.<br />
Im drawn to efforts and wisdom in a man.<br />
And your kindness. Minus overthinking.<br />
<br />
Things happens and then we got some hiccups towards the end of the day.<br />
Baby please know that no matter what happen, i will not let you go through them alone anymore.<br />
<br />
Its crazy your emotions are so contagious to me.<br />
Your laugh makes me gigles.<br />
Your anger scares me. Pls dont be mad when you are with me.<br />
Your sadness makes me cry.<br />
It hurts me so bad i wish to lift it away from you.<br />
Your being affects me.<br />
Your presence are comforting and pleasent.<br />
So long you are happy and well. Everything else doesnt matter.<br />
With you it is love.<br />
I am very clear headed. I wish that you feel that and of the same too.<br />
<br />
Right there and then i knew you are more than just my boyfriend.<br />
<br />
We went 2nd base.<br />
And it was the most beautiful and wildest moment we had thus far.<br />
Hugging is dangerous. Thanks for highlighting it.<br />
I finally see why.<br />
Haha... im loving every bit of it.<br />
<br />
Let's make every wish of yours came true.<br />
Mine is simple. Really. As complicated as i am, i am very easily satisfied.<br />
<br />
Your happiness is mine.<br />
<br />
Let us miss her together.<br />
She is someone i loved through you.<br />
She made you the man i loved.<br />
The kindest and the modest man.<br />
The old soul.<br />
The one that never fail to remind me to drink water.<br />
<br />
I love you baby.<br />
Muaks<br />
<br />
Vol 2.<br />
<br />
<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-8220307715094393872017-10-11T09:43:00.000-07:002017-10-11T22:00:48.798-07:00The problem about me is that i always either say nothing or i say too much.<br />
<br />
Saying partially is not my norm. If you see me doing that then perhaps there is something that i couldnt resist anymore but you are not giving me enough comfort to burst out.<br />
<br />
Funny how you used to be that person who manage to let me free flowing confessing all out but now it feels more restrictive.<br />
<br />
I guess it is because the topics now include us and not just me.<br />
<br />
Im not happy with what happenned this week.<br />
But you were not the first person to know.<br />
I couldnt feel your presence and you were sick too and i dont wish to bring this up the next day.<br />
<br />
Bringing wrong topic at the wrong timing is another killer. Im really sad to hear the tone of your voice and how it was reverted to me.<br />
It almost seems like you were not open up for discussion and that what i said was pointless.<br />
<br />
End up i just shut down conversation and i woudnt wanna argue further. You have your statement and ill just rest my case. When a judge said you were wrong and you know it was just hopeless to get your appeal going knowing it is going to further damage the result, you will just give up.<br />
<br />
Not admitting defeat. Not agreeing but to just let it go. It wont help or solve the issue but lets just see what it will bring.<br />
<br />
What surprises me was the consoling that came right after i thought we both gave up that night.<br />
That was the man i fall for.<br />
<br />
A man who wouldnt let me sleep angry.<br />
Knowing i wont be able to sleep.<br />
<br />
I know nothing is perfect.<br />
But right at this moment i need a lot of attention and i crave for your assurance.<br />
<br />
I felt like im in a long distance relationship.<br />
One that kenot be told and be cherished upon.<br />
<br />
Overthinking kills. But if saying this all out made me sound crazy and desperate than i might as well just shut the fuck up.<br />
<br />
I felt like i am not asking too much but i felt like im chocking you. I dont want that love.<br />
<br />
How do i fix this?<br />
I complicate things but love, you knew i was a chaotic person. Would you always be the one that calms the thunder and silence my fears and insecurities?<br />
<br />
I wish i am easy.<br />
I wish i am simple.<br />
I thought i am simple.<br />
<br />
Apparently innocents doesnt mean simple.<br />
<br />
I know you would try.<br />
But if one day you felt that i do you more harm than love. Please do tell me.<br />
<br />
I will be okay.<br />
I rather be in pain than to watch you suffer pain.<br />
<br />jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1095632574533507572.post-44283375761131927722017-10-06T22:47:00.001-07:002017-10-07T22:18:16.351-07:00Among all words that people used to tell me is that i always think too much.<br />
<div>
You said that too.</div>
<div>
Vice versa. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But dont leave me alone too long with no assurance cuz i will really complicate things.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Im a terribly manja being and i love attention from the loved one. Very. I dont need material stuff or fancy dates. I just want an undivided attention, a warm hand to hold and a caring shoulder to lean on.</div>
<div>
Low maintanence. </div>
<div>
High assurance. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sounds complicated already.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We had some topics last thursday which got the warm night became cold.</div>
<div>
It wasnt an intended question. I dont like the answers but i respected that.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sometimes we do things for our loved ones eventhough we dislike it. But because it makes that person happy, there is no harm trying with negotiated term and condition.</div>
<div>
I hope you understand this.</div>
<div>
You knew me very well and the fact that i care about you above all else, i will never force you to do anything you dont want to.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Fight for each other. Not with one another.</div>
<div>
I have fight to stay put despite everyone ask me to stop waiting. Despite past tense n future tense calling. I still prefer my presence. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Ohh... they always said that i expect too much as well.</div>
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I never really understand how i got this label but now i kinda understand it. I always have a visualization on my partner. A pressure i put on others and a misery i created for myself.</div>
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As i get elder, expectation worn off bit by bit as i got to understand that everyone is flawed. Perfection wouldnt want me and i wouldnt find us matching.</div>
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We came a long way. We dont stumble to each other. We crossed path and we got hiccups along the journeys. It was a lot of effort and many of the letting go but still try on and denials. </div>
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I thought to myself that it was not suppose to be this hard. But then i forgotten i was difficult to be loved.</div>
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Many ppl come by and shown affection. But they leave too soon and give up eventually.</div>
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You were the only one who really stuck hard and persist.<br />
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Im sorry cuz i would appear insecure at times cuz i am really an insecure person. Coming from what i had and whatever shaped my past tense, i will have a tendency to please people i care for to keep everything okay. But deep down i might have a volcano erupting in my head. I will be overly sensitive towards changes in tone of voices, message delivery patterns and even facial expression.<br />
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With me you have to be open. You have to tell me and assure me. Dont let me have a guessing mind cuz mostly it goes haywired. Meanwhile i will learn to be less chaotic. I hope you have patient to fix this while showing me enough to kill this anxiety for good.</div>
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Feeling cant lie. That day i held on to your hand for a very long time and you asked me why. I have no answer to that. I just hope that night will continue to last longer or just stays at pulse mode.</div>
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I was really savouring the moment. </div>
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That this at this moment it was real. </div>
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That security i held onto was mine to protect and love who loves me back.</div>
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Since the day my dog passed away, I could never find warm in someone else arms and hugs.</div>
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You gave me that exact feeling i long lost. :)</div>
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Give us strength to walk on stronger.</div>
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Love, Vol. 1. </div>
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jcdagreathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04568889798613270875noreply@blogger.com0