Monday Blues

My bday is coming in less than a week. 

Guess what~ I'm not excited about it at all!

Gosh. I'm so dying. What's wrong with me?

However, blessed-fully, I'm booked on Friday Nite by my BFF since form 2 carrying the same name as mine. We are so similar to each other I always called us twins. Her bufday is on the 4th of August which is merely a day later than mine & only she & I know how equally crazy we both are. 

The leval of insanity~ pfff~ Need I say more~ :)

Something triggered about my eldest daughter principal against youngest son & I was so mad I just lost my control over my temper. Do not judge on my sisterly patience anymore.

I fear problems. I fear complexity. If money & expertise could solve those problems, then it ain't a problem in the 1st place. However, I did play my part. I did whatever I could to help even though I dislike bothering others for others problem instead of mine. 

I'm not the down right spoiling younger sibling kinda sister. I don't think I'm a loving & sacrificial sister at all either. I just wish for your independence. No matter how smart u are, if you're not independent, you're hopeless. 

Sigh! Every single time these shytes happen, I'll be so knocked down. Guilt comes in even though I wanted to believe that I did nothing wrong.

So thanks for spoiling my weekend. U guys rocks man! How perfectly capable of your words & action could spoil my days. 

Next weekend mia plan X plan lagi.... >.<

I wanna go KL on Sunday... but I wonder where I would be sent on the following week~~~

Distance is a matter cuz Sunday is a traveling day~

Again, uncertainty sucks!

Know why I already hate my bday this year even b4 it arrives?

- Beach Party x jadi

- I don't felt prioritized by people that I love

- I'm still stuck here!!! Zero% musically progress  

- I lost a bestie who doesn't really need me anymore

(You know what dear, your action of ignoring me when I did nothing wrong reminds me on what my ex-bff done to me in Form6. I can't believe you could be the 2nd person who did this to me. You made me believe that all the promises & dreams we shared were simply worthless. You've hurt me! Which reminds me that I should never ever let anyone to completely into my life & owns it only to have them shatter & break my heart)

Monday @Rasah. A boring branch. I don't like being there. :(

Find me hard to please?. Pls!

I'm not just that! I'm more than that!

My attitude is depend on how worthy of you to me. 

& recently I found out that I'm limiting the number of people who could comes into my life. 

Step one is by deleting FB fwen list on their bday XDXD LOL!!!

I know, ridiculous right but that's the only way I could recall them ~ as in, who is the person anyway? or those strangers I might not even talk to before @ Uni. Maklum la... I was kinda popular in Uni for a good 3 years. 

=P

I don't really need FB to remind me my bff bdays. Cuz I have their special days marked in my calendar & set as remainder. 

Bless you dearest :)

Monday come approaching in less than 10 minutes. 

Gotta try to embrace everyday in a more positive attitude alright. 

If nobody love you enough, you urself ought to do so. 

After all, you can't be possibly expecting that right?

Selfish is a new kinda love.

" Life itself is a show"~ Waters to Elephant.