I am Jcdagreat

I am Jcdagreat.... But why it never emerge when I needed it the most?

I'm having a stiff throat... Sore throat...

I will be going to RTM star audition 2morrow at Angkasapuri PRamlee. 

Singing the same ol song~ If I ain't got you cuz I dun have time to practice another song. This time I need to sing with minus one. Which means I need to know all lyrics n flow. 

I tried it out just now, it was bad. Very bad. I cannot hit the notes, a song I could sing.... A song I actually have no problem carrying... 

You see, I didn't go to win, I go to be judged. I hope my voice can recover in time tomorrow, at least let me hit my notes correctly. I can't bear another time of shamefulness in front of professional judges.

It's nice to know that leng2 will be there with me :) Thank you. 

We go there play nia right....U gotta sing your very best even u gotta sing under pressure, sing under sickness, sing even when you almost feel like quitting....

Do your best Jcdagreat. Pls remember u're just beginning to nurture your talent... 

It's okay to be ugly, to be the joke of the show, or the laughing stock being a loser

After all, you will gain sumthg in the end, the experience to fall and resurface. 

U're in fact the true winner!!!

The Last PBB Traning :)

So much to say.... so much more I could have explored.... Not so sure if anybody is listening or even bothered.

I just gotta summarize them before I sleep tonight. Sometimes when the moment is right and you're too occupied to execute it that instant moment, it will lose it's magic. That particular 7 days were simply marvelous. LOL. Vacation-al training... Mr.Teh is seriously dumping lotsa money to invest on young people like us. XD.

Though there are many more pending places n things that I would wanna go and do, I guessed I just gotta be settled with those that I have happily been through & done with many beautiful people who came across my days for that period of time.

 The moment you see I flash a smile like this, you should know that you made me very happy :)

Thanks GT mates... We shall really see who resign 1st kay...

XD

 

I just lost a perfect reason to resign cuz HR decided to not take me into Johor. My boss said he performed the magic once already ... He can't promise to save me another time...

Well, what he didn't know was that I have my whole heart ready to resign once the Segamat transfer came knocking. The moment when he told me the so called good news, I had my lips forcefully curled up. I guess my new plan was disrupted again... 

Anyway, dreams might not come true this year. So, save money go Bali, Thailand, Singapore, and beaches around Mas....or KK.... Suzane Mah is expecting me & the GTmates... LOL!!!!

Nite Y'll :P

Shyte....I have no time to prepare for RTM this weekend .... Defuq!

2nd Attempt, 1st Round of ATQ Audition

Still reluctant to wake up, I woke Siewin up instead XD. 

This is my current habit when I'm with a roomie...

After bath, still being very sleepy, both TMT & Siewin tied me up and started to mold me into something more presentable. True enough, once makeup was done, I looked like I had my sleep debt being paid off 100times - Jcdagreat emerged! 

Kim Ling joined me cuz he missed his Q the day before XD. Faith la partner~ LOL!!!

Siewin was with me all along. She decided not to go Bintang RTM to be with me instead while preparing for her second audition. Lined up much earlier than yesterday and I am the lucky no. 6 of the day. 

Was pretty confident cuz I was singing If I ain't got you by Alicia Keys. A song I can sing blindly and effortlessly~ sorta~ And while trying out with KimLing, it sounded perfect to myself.

Sunday arrangement was better. This time, 2 judgest were duly assigned  in one room and better set up and management was seen. Many familiar faces came back to be judged again. Waiting outside the room was driving me nuts... I just grabbed Leng2 hand cuz I needed strength. I felt weak already. 

I went in and Alex San & another man I knew whom sat comfortably on the couch. I was starstruck for the 2nd time. This time I just sang the shit outta my mouth. The melody I wanted was delivered, but the power I had was merely 70% of what I could have done. Alex asked me to sing a 2nd song. So I offered him Loving You... He wanted Mandarin. So I sang Shang Hen instead. Pitchy... I knew it, Fuck! The judges were discussing while I was singing made me felt confused. So I stopped awhile but he asked me to continue. Finally, I stopped and Alex San talked.

He said:

I kinda like your voice. There is a sweet tone in it ( I was like~ Sweet? Hello~ it's bluesy ba...LOL). But I felt that you keep all your voice inside, they were unable to come out. Have you ever learn singing? (Shaking me head) I see... To make somebody touched when you sing, voice projection is important. If I were to put you through, it will be difficult for you. Music will drawn you. ( I nodded~ purfectly agreed on his statement). :)

I overheard him asking a girl in the room about KIV (Keep in view aka Pending list) but he didn't proceed to that. Another judge asked if I were here yesterday, and I was like yes. I sang Mercy by Duffy and I screwed up. Acknowledging the fact Alex San was there too witnessing the whole shame. LOL

So we thank each other, and I walked out knowing I failed the 2nd time. Though I wish him to take me in and reconsider about it, but I had try to sing my best under pressure. It wasn't perfect, but at least I didn't make a fool out of myself like the day before. Mission accomplished! I just wanna amend my mistake which I thought was an insult to my ego. I walked out with a forceful smile, but I noe it was for the best. I am not ready for it. Head held high you sassy cat~

Went back to Bukit Jalil & took all my stuff back to Bangi. This time Kimling became a faithful driver. Waved goodbye to TMT with heavy heart, Siewin, him & I went to a K room and screamed like mad. Well, exaggerating... like always. Then it was dinner time. A dinner date organized by our Miss Ooi at Old Man Restaurant. It was a very happy date with so many lovable faces with Andrew finally back to Mas, contributing to UKM MAS! LOL. Spread the CB & yellow culture K! Paw 5!!

 It felt so good when I finally let go of my last fist. De-stressing.

Then the natural big smile came upon.

 My loves

Astro lose 2 main talents this year. Ah Fai being one and another darling HooiLing. 

Xpe la... We have another year to go...infact... this year journey is yet to end. Are you with me?

 Thanks Andrew for the dinner. Pls don't act so kind. U're spoiling us! We earn quite a good income too....haha. It's only fair that we treat u back once in awhile :)

I will come back for more rehearsal soon.... Jaga my song yea XDXD NTLP XV :)

 

Has been eating like there's no tomorrow...gained weight non stop wei.... diu

I didn't manage to go to witness my fwen glorious 2nd performance in round two ATQ. Only you know how I wished I could be there for you like you be there for me dear. Tho you didn't get thru just like you wished not to, you're one step ahead of me. Mind you, I will catch up with you very soon :) Lion don't go strike for hunger itself. We're gonna roar together.... XD

Im so proud of you!!! The journey has just begun. 

I see you again in 3 weeks time. 

Till then, :)

I, I love you like a love song baby~

<3

1st Round ATQ Audition

The day that I have been waited for 11 years

Sounds crappy right? Why would anyone wanna wait anything for 11 years?

Maybe somebody else could but for a Leo gal like me, one extra day seems like forever

Imagine waited 11 years for that... Can you feel how desperate I am to score that one chance?

So that was how the humiliation started  > <

 My tune mates :)

Me Amor

 

I reached TimeSq around 8 sumthg on Saturday while they were already there waiting for me. I had a bad feeling about the day since thursday when I was having accommodation problem. Things were pretty messed up and I was having difficulty deciding where to stay, how to go from place to place and many other related stuff. I didn't allocate any free time to really get myself prepared for the so-called big day. Eventually I chose to stay with MeeTeng @Bukit Jalil. Deary TMT :)

Jiayie came to support me :) I love you dear... Look at my shitty bad tired face.... Shud have guessed it wasn't a good sign. 

I thought I have done enough to face for judgment... Self comforting~ Well, I screwed up badly. 

I'm pretty sure it will goes up on TV la...cuz it was freaking bad!

I mistakenly sang the wrong lyric, got freaked out, forgot lyric with I supposed very funny expression on my face, then by the time I wanna hit the chorus, they stopped me indicating 30 sec has gone and they thanked me to shut me up. Fuck! Fuck! I screwed the hell up in front of Yuen Wei Ren!!! 

Guess Mercy wasn't the right song at the wrong time.

Friends said I was put too much pressure on myself, You wanted it too badly to prove...

I was trying so hard to find a corner to hide my thick face & cry the hell out... but I guess my friends wouldn't allow me. They kept me around so I wouldn't be alone... I actually need that period of time-to really delved into the matter, be extremely emo about it, and when I'm ready, I will go seek for comfort.

The fact that my fwens was selected into pending list and I am not, it was harded for me to control myself not to be much bothered by the result which will effect their celebration mood than them needed to control their happiness to make me feel better. Do u get my sentence? Hmm... draggy yet pointless huh? Sigh.

Puiyan & her laughter 

Ah Fai then drove us to Bandroom where he practiced for that night performance at Station One. Met some juniors and spent a quality times with my babe Siewin... Sinux then took over and brought us to Fusion Heven which I demanded. :) Thanks sweetie.

I tried my very best to hide my emoness.... and try to relax as much as possible cuz I noe I needa pia for tomorrow... The thought of going thru the same damn routine really kills me.... but I have no choice. I have no choice!!! If I didn't fix the shit I have done, the rest of the days and the months through the year will be miserable. 

Went back to MeeTeng place with Siewin...

A dreamless night~

A Wild Weekend -Part 1

Hmm, I don't think I am capable of blogging tonight... I needa get a good sleep like seriously...

Mission accomplished. No, I didn't make it. But I amended the mistake I made yesterday and I felt good with what I did today. The weekends were amazing... details tomorrow ba :) 

I failed with head held high today

Tue & Wed

Tuesday was Krazy... Sigh. Knowing my trainee mates were all going to have different dates other than us together, hence I gotta make my own dinner arrangement. I was wondering who to call and who can make it at night... I was craving for K date and I wanna pay visit to Neway @ Timesquare so I wouldn't get a shocked when I arrive there on Saturday. Who would wanna sing with me with dinner price? I was thinking if nobody wanna accompany me in the end, I will go myself. I always wanna try singing K or movie alone. Just to see how does it feels like. But I guess I know now I don't fancy it at all. 

Thk mia think.... Ah Fai crossed my mind. This K kaki was in my pending list for a long time. He agreed. Luckily Leng2 joined in half way thru the date. We need a break for the vocal to rest... We sang till 2am! Infact we were granted to sing until 4am. Fuck! Wasted 2 hours. But the hell, 3 of us needa go working on Wednesday. 

 Ah Fai looks like a rabbit... LOL. His voice got stronger with much jamming practices... He is very much ready for the competition. So melodic. I wish I could appear as much ready as I thought I am la...

With allergy problem, I  only manage to sleep few hours. Article X buat... Sleep deprived, I almost wanna take MC~ again!!! LOL! But going in late during HOE training will not prompt anybody. Nobody bothers & nobody could tell. Sigh! Told you imma good girl. In the end, I walked the zombie walk to Menara & had a terrible day with continuous yawning & almost slept few times while speaker talks. Ish! Teruk mia GT.

Wednesday, thot of going timesquare makan at night after deciding not to pay my sleep debt. Was thinking I shud really get some food, back hotel do article then sleep or, sleep 1st, eat at hardrock then do article...

In the end, thanks to my trainee fwen, we tapau mamak back to hotel, eaten, served myself a hot coffee, did my article, and now still reluctant to sleep cuz I no longer feel sleepy. The fuck! One word to myself. Incredible! I guess my this new roomie pun x tahan me le... after knowing a bit more, she is actually very nice :)

I need time to get warm with anybody. Not all people draws kindness from me... I mean warmness~

LOL

Look at that swollen eyes.... Sigh... Photo with purpose. I was thinking to ask some fwens to take studio pic or ala-ala studio pics for me.. But I guess, I'm not in a position to do so... 

No choice la... 

Happy days past by with no sympathy.... it's Thursday already... :( 

So many things to do...

So little time...

Make the best out of it lo ~

Buenas Noche

The "Vacation" Begins

Arrived in KL on Sunday! Met up with Cherly, Saukheng, Jingfang & Frederick:)

My dear animals....But the termite pumpkin couldn't make it...Finally met Cherly after so many months departure... Germany didn't change her at all... I just felt she is a happier gal these days... & I'm happy for her :) Love you babe... all the best in Germany, score your Master well~ 

Then one by one leaving.... sad giler... This isn't right... @ the end, I walked back with Fang and her partner cuz they fear I'll get sesat at KL city...buahahaha...

 

Hey... I buleh mia....

Trainee fwens haven't arrived. Sabahan Geng were still not sure what time they will arrive...While I was searching for KL fwens, his name pops up. Dated dinner @Pavillion & a trip around KL city night life...

with his single-eyed Baby~ Strong, fit, and safe.... Improvement, myself with motorcycle... 

Thanks charming...

I guess alcohol is definitely not a thing for you and me... But I will still work on it... 

I don't think I would love it in anytime soon, but alcohol is a must to learn up. Sunday night after getting drunk was a horrible thing lo~ Aiseyman....

Day time is sien like shit... Seriously, working my but off in the warzone is way better than being in Hoe COD department. The only fun thing here is being with all my trainee fwens and some bestie staying in the area. Everybody thinks going to Johor is a bad idea. It isn't right and it just isn't right...yesh, I said it twice!

 

WTF...Y u Still here? Y u no leave? Wahahaha...

Sunday was a great day, Monday was a good day, Looking forward to a fab Tuesday now...

I want Neway, Movie, Zouk, @ more... b4 my audition plan fails... of course I don't wanna walk in for failure la... If I plan to fail, I plan to avoid it for good, which I did back in those years...

Imma walking away with only good performance... pls. I ady screwed enough auditions... This is huge, pls don't humiliate me. I'm too old to take in such shame. So, only Jcdagreat can emerge on that faithful day :)

Ahh...Just performed an interview with a young man with a talent in performing magic show. Such good chatter~ Gotta come up with article soon... For you CK... I have almost decline this offer but since I promised already, imma do it well. 

Going to edit it now... sleepy tim.... Anyway 2morrow day gotta be sucky too... I just hope 5.45pm ends real quick. 

Then my night wild life can begin...

XDXDXD

 

Baby

The Story Teller

 

 

Overtime Date

Finally I paid visit to the new lot of the town

Overtime. Nice design. 

But the main thing was to meet my dear. I desperately need her advice. I knew she is the one to look for. 

The right advice and the right guidance.

I told her my situation. I don't have to tell her much. She knows me. Too well :)

I laid out my problems, my concerns, and my favors.

She analyzed them and she gave me solutions~ packed in 3 directions. 

I was so messed up earlier, I was literally thrown into an unkempt room, filled with everything everywhere, & I don't know where to start filtering.... which at last, I gave up even before finding a way out. 

Now at least she made it clear for me with 3 main boxes with the labels on priority pasted on top of it. 

Glad you're here dear... You always managed to cool me down before I burst. Your maturity is beyond expectation... I know I can count on you :) <3

There's one point we discussed that Im actually surprised by what I said. 

I gave in in alot of things in the past for every right reason I thought it was.

Now that the age catches up, and that I'm financially independent, that I'm capable to bear the consequences

I no longer wanna have other people interfering my decision. Not even a say unless I ask for it. 

I don't wanna have a chance to blame anyone for anything for any decision not entirely made by myself. I wanna be completely aware of my choices and that if I were to make a mistake, I only got myself to face. 

I have made a lot of changes to fit in alot of situation I wasn't given a choice to live in. 

So, I became very picky in certain matters. I dun befriend with any kind of friend. I do selection. I tend to avoid certain type of characters. 

Not just that. Talking about that made me realized why I keep losing crush after crush. I always wanted the other half of me to get me, understand me without needing me to tell A to Z. I'm literally wanting someone who could read mind. I need him to complements me. If you're lacking what I'm lacking, why do I even look up to you in the 1st place? 

The fact that I'm a complicated person to be understood, there's no way I could tell anyone the 100% of me neither do anyone could understand me completely even if I managed to tell the 100% off. 

That's why I keep finding faults with my crushes. Cuz I choose to find perfection instead of embracing others people flaws. Keeping my head held high with all the flaws I posses myself has already taken all my strength. I don't know how and I wish not to turn a blind eyes when I still can choose. 

 Sigh! I'm enclosing myself back to the stupid shell. This ego shyte is eating me alive. 

For all the right reason. At least it's still my choice and I'm not sorry to be myself.

***

Pending for HR's official call. I'm waiting for the announcement... Make it brutal and we shall see how it goes from there. 

***

 The vulnerable side of me gotta go. Cuz by the end of the day, I'm the only one who could save me. 

You're such a disappointment.

& I'm such a bitch!

The Joannes

I Love You Roomie :) I really miss US... 

Guess we could really talk forever LOL. That was our nightly routine... lol. 

It just feels so right having you with me. That was what missing... my night time buddy chatter...

Who tells me stories and hear my stories in return...

Somebody who gets me... who knows me... whom I care & love dearly.

I got used to waking up everyday seeing a unkempt room with ur unwashed mug and you being the early riser, waking me up and me saying I will skip the morning class... 

 

The state which can't be named! WTF!

International Women Day huh?

Sigh! Funny how I messaged my friends this noon saying that the day has been okay thus far. No bad stuff yet! Yet!! Little that I know by the end of the day I will received that news. 

It was 7.15pm. I was doing checking for customers when my boss came back from downstairs. He past by me and asked me to go into his room, saying he got things to tell me. I thought it was regarding the previous case we talked about. 

Once I seated, he said HO called him. The 1st thing that pops into my head was, damn, was it a complaint about my work performance. No! HO is taking you out. Damn. So fast? Yes. I told you the first day you were here. I know! HO is transferring you to Segamat! Johor? What? Yea, there are vacancies there and they want people to fill in the place. Wow! WTF!!!

Is there any negotiation can be done? I talked to them, about you being the soft type (wait...soft, anyway), home town being here, you might not want to go & you might resign. But I was asked to talk you in. I... I thought since everyone said I will be a mobile officer, so I just have that scenario on head. They said, HO go easy on girls. Normally girls are not subjected to travel far station. No, not necessarily. Why don't put me as MCO? That's the thing. HO they make decision. They are quite firm. WTF twice! So when will I go? You wait for the official letter or call 1st, normally one week after the official appointment, you will have to report to the branch. Oh crap! So you have a weekend to think about it, talk to your parents and... Well, that is one of the main thing. Traveling or leaving is one thing. How to tell them? I know them alright. They are those who can't have an easy rest knowing the children is still not home by time. I made sure they have the preparation to know that I am subjected to be transferred and become an MCO perhaps. But not up to Johor state lor... 

So I'll just wait for the official update 1st.... Then perhaps only make a decision or try negotiate.

WTF! That was one weird situation where my boss was trying to make me laugh when I was about to cry. Just after I came out from his room, I just shed tears. I knew I was shocked, in fact unhappy with the news. Right at that moment, I knew I wasn't ready to leave. I started to love the branch and all the nice people here. 

If it was Penang HO decided to send me to, will I have such feeling? I don't have anybody at Johor!!!

Gosh! This Sucks!!!

Now here's the situation. When is the audition dates and where? When will I be transferred to that state...damn. I dun even wanna name the state. If I resign, and dreams hasn't arrived or dreams doesn't occur, what am I gotta do? Where can I get a job this good with high pay? If i resign just because of the location, I guess I failed my boss and everybody who has ever teaches me. But the state.... gosh! Most importantly there's no a single soul I knew well there. 

Tho knowing Segamat branch was a performing branch is slightly luring, but maybe due that reason, people resign cuz pressure is simply unbearable. I'm not kidding you. The work load n force we're subjected to are not as simple as ABC. 

I am sad... very sad. I wasn't ready to break the news...maybe I was hoping today was just a bad dream. Maybe I'll dream of a dream that today was a dream... gosh, That would kill me!!!

Still, nobody bothers. I guess emoness was my norm. Nobody could ever tell the depth of it.

Nevermind... I'm on my own. :( Very soon, I'll be on my own. 

Gotta make huge decision real soon. 

And I hate it more than I ever could. 

Contradiction

I realize how I'll never get the chance to one day say, "This has been my lifelong dream that finally came true", or that "I've been doing and wanting this since I was 5."

I didn't. I only knew what I truly wanted, when I was 19. My folks suggested I go to music college when I was 18, because I was never an academic. No one outside family knew I even played some piano. I started singing when I was 19. But just because this was not my dream since childhood doesn't mean I want it any less than the rest. Don't you think I ought to know what I want better at 19 than at 5? Gimme a break.

 The above statement was written by a girl called Samantha... A girl who sings at KLPAC for the Disney Night concert. She wasn't very outstanding compared to many more brilliant performers that very night but she sang a song that made me cry. Well, that song always made me cry when I'm emo. & at the moment, my ex crush was sitting next to me, still crazily playing with me when I knew well he has fallen for a girl. Haiz... so, whichever the reason, I got to know her thru FB.

I don't doubt her love for singing, in fact, i agreed that you definitely know what you want at the age of 19 than 5 which at 5 years old, I was already loving singing and dancing. 

Will I taste the glory twice the sweetness if I ever achieve my dream? Or will she who is more determined to have that dream last longer?

 

A good chat with best friend gives you a good feeling to kick off a long week ahead. At least I know my Monday wouldn't be so blue for the moment.

I had my Idol replays all watched and my favourite cheered upon. Like usual, I'm inspired by those great talents and that's how most of my skills came from. Study, copy, train, make it my style... not easy... definitely not easy. 

Went out early, dated my doctor fwen for a K season. It has been very long since we K-ed together. Gosh, that voice... nice~ I remember Jiayie told me our voice matches beautifully... I totally felt it today. Thank you Kimyang... Paiseh, I din mean to dump you right after LOL... I rushed back for Idol!!!

Some chatter comes and goes... They come find you on daily basis and once they have enough, they stop finding you altogether. B watever reason it could be. Found a better chatter, healed from watever pain, mission completed or that I'm not responsive enuff... Hmm, not bothered to know.

I have the urge to find this person tonight :) Just knew he would be there for me...

Sweet old beary... Miss you so so much. The right mood to chat was there. Craps overflowed XD. 

You made my day... Hey, I didn't know I got a nick name called Miss J. LOL

I have many friends like this... They have their VIPs... Maybe I'm not quite in their top 10 VIPs but I definitely worth a slot in their categorization of friends~ One nice spot =P. That's how I segregate my fwens too... 

Too bad... too active... too many diff fwens... Can't mix em all together...

And I can't be fair to everybody at once in one time... So, don't make me choose

PT-30 Time when I was most fit~

Ada people remind me of PT tonight!!! Jahat!!! Now that song is gonna haunt me for a good period of time... LOL

Sweet Old Times

***

2 more weeks to KL training... Gosh...can time pass by faster..... :( 

Would I be able to see all the faces I wanna meet at that short one week time?

I'm so going to the audition. 

Bear mia translation: 

For those who are born within 1987 to 1994, 24th and 25th of March, first round audition, 10am to 3pm, Berjaya times square neway

choose only one of the 2 dates to attend!!

 Hey, he looks quite nice :) Pretty face, clean shaven, fair, tight, a perfect package of a sales man...

But why he seems so shy when he's with me? 

XDXDXD. Ngaum! Wanna eat you alive!!! Hahaha

Suan le la... Wrong occupation! 

Gotta have more variety on choices... Kenot just stick to one... Cuz that particular one at this moment is very disappointing... Temporary, let's just enjoy Mr.V presence ba =P

WoW

I didn't know I could be a good banker... I spoke like a real banker with little knowledge about other products other than loan  XD

If only I'm not so much a singer wanna be or somewhat retarded in art, I could really love this job. 

Too bad....

the Fuck.... FB down wah.... account temporary not available leh....si sampat

Update

American Idol 11 ROCK!!!

After a few disappointing season, finally this one is just pure talents... Half of the people here are my favorites but few didn't make it though... Sigh~

Deandre was so good I just fell in love with his voice... And he definitely brought back my interest towards long hair dude... My sweet korean boy Hee Jun is here... N watch out for the 16 years old Asian girl... She is the one to beat now.

My weekend will be perfect now watchin replay Idols on TV :)

-----

I open my internal PBB email today namely 'lotus notes'... and pops the email regarding the mentoring section at menara PB at KL. Finally it arrived. I've been waiting for it to deliver the good news to me. I just giggle infront of my desktop XD. 19th to 23rd at KL, 26th & 27th at Bangi. How perfect!

Nobody would understand me at this current situation more than my banker friends. So whenever people tell me how stress they were or how they think they are more stress than I do, I just stay mum. 1st, I have no right to judge them. I don't stand on their shoes. 2ndly, this is not a brag-able achievement either... So what u have the most stress work in the world?... Congrats you lo XDXD

So, it's not even wrong for me to exaggerate the fact that this training taste like sweet o heaven...

Still there is 2 weeks of hardwork before I get to see my banker friends...

I bumped to two posts 2 days from some guy friends saying ignorance is the way to prove someone's worthiness...more or less like this~

I sounded the 2nd guy. That was pure ridiculous! Just so ridiculous! Don't even have to explain yourself la... I won't bother to see your respond. Cuz I just thot the moment you say that, you seems somewhat a jerk to me! Nuff said! 

Well, sense some bipolar here eh...XD

Hmm, I sensed something bad. Shall frequents the pills consumption... and perhaps needa do check up soon. Soon la...  :(

I won't let myself die young and beautiful...