I'm not Okay!

Always remember why you make the decision in the first place

Christine reminded me this today. A reminder I used to sing to myself, a hypnotize I chat to get me through the days. It's easier said than done.

I just...

Chu 7 Happy Birthday To Us

Brought my mom to have Dim Sum today and to meet her old friend. I'm currently obsess being a good gurl especially when I started to drive independently. Well, I guess I'm giving her the best I can, all she ever deserve when someone else cannot do it. Lucky you mom~ :P

Went back home around 11am...half dead. I declined my fwen invitation to go bai nian. And every Karaoke kaki in Seremban fails me. While I was comfortably laying on the cushion with my FB on, Eewen called me. 

"Joanne, come outside"

"Ha, wat? why? What chu doing there?"

"Hehe... Come here pick you lo..."

Walou eh... you guys use army force to kiap me to go along ke? >.<

How to resist? How to resist them? :) So I went along. Mantin! Another bff house. Munwei was there with the boy. So, of course we like to joke about when is the big day and when is the red bom coming. You know asking for the sake of asking. But I always expect the typical answers. You noe what I mean.

The similar answer when I got asked when will I get a BF la...

This was their couple photo only... They modeled for a fwen I think

But what she say surprised us all. We were all happy shocked! Or just me. She said the wedding will be next year March. Registering marriage this coming 22 Feb and photography at Taiwan in May/June. I was so happy, I just hugged her and LOL. Very touching neh... You see the relationship grows and these 4-5 years of relationship blossomed into a marriage despite distance and hardship. You see it coming but it was the magic word that makes the uncertainty becomes a reality. I'm so happy for them :) The 1st couple of U65 getting hitched. 

But this was also an alarming call. Hey, I'm already 24 yrs old. I'm still living in denial, denying that age. It's like you know your age, you tell it out loud but you don't meant it. I don't feel like I'm 24 at all. To think of I'm actually older than that and I'm still single wtf ~.~ Okay, whatever. Time flies and I should start to pick up from where I lag.

When I look at my friend with her partner, I found similarity in them. A matching feature or gesture... I wonder why couldn't I find someone like that too

Was I afraid of commitment? Was I choosy? Let me remind you of something, some history can influence you know...The way you are brought up is also the key factor that influence one's perception of love. And mine is definitely not a healthy one to begin with. I guess the moment my parent start to question on my status, then perhaps I should be worry. XP 

Till then, play safe la~

...

...

Can you be more exciting? You bore me... I'm losing interest.

Random Picture in CNY

 This sweetheart is my cousin brother 1st child... He is posing with his grandpa. Very energetic fellow with his feet kicking in the air, in fact everywhere. What I love most about him is that he dun fear stranger... The moment he arrived in my grandma house everyone wants a piece of him. How this lovely kid can light up a room eh...

And his grandpa is someone fierce, well by the look of course. But when he plays with his grandchild, he himself become a big baby, talking baby with the kid. Heart melts :)

Bump to two lion in two days... The red one in Jusco on Saturday & the yellow one at Street. Bising la...Yea, very lively but... Sigh! Y can't I live the CNY spirit better?

A Thousand Years

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid
To fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday
waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more
 

Time stands still
Beauty I know she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything
Take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath,
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

3rd day of CNY-Paulian Gathering

Well, numbers don't define anything. We have 8 people who responded and came for the gathering and we were the loudest in Kenny Rogers. LOL! We have always been the noisiest~ Esp when 3 of the loudest girl actually present in the gathering. :P

This time marked something very different. KimYang and XiaoZi were ACTUALLY there... 

THEY ACTUALLY APPEARED~ how significant! Both of them never attend any of our gathering since... they noe well. 

This was taken earlier...2 days b4 CNY

 Saiz E wei.... LOL Believe me, You can never find anyone louder than her. Yes, not even me!

 She is the 1st friend I called Dear... :)

 The boys 

 My rumored BF... LOL. Not bad pun... future doctor ma...

 BIG

BIG

HEART :)

Love you guys so much!!!

Wish you were here right at this very moment.

You are nowhere near...

I'm scare

I have a dream, A song to sing~

Westlife, I Have a Dream

 

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?, I don't belong here

Radiohead, Creep

Dragon year- Not quite facinating...

Every CNY comes and goes... Not one is more interesting than the other. I have already forgotten the feeling of being excited and truly enjoy the celebration. It's more like a responsibility to celebrate as part of the Chinese culture and being one of the Chinese, it's just aint good to detach yourself from the union. There was an emotional article I read in TheStar this morning. The man said CNY is meaningless once one reaches puberty. It was so damn true. Now lagi no fun cuz I'm financially able and I needa come up with angpau to grandparents. Well, that wasn't the case. 

Perhaps I have not been leaving home frequent enough to understand the value of togetherness. Aii.

To do list on February

> Celebrate Fang2 and MeeTeng Bday @ KL, maybe can meet up with Syndy too~ my beloved coursemates

> Celebrate Valentine's Day~ Erm, last Valentine, I was with my girls celebrating singlehood day XD. I just wish I don't have to go thru that day alone. 

ICPW2

Fyi, ICPW stands for

Intensive Credit Processing Workshop

Section2: Attended for all new credit officer...

LOL... Well, nobody bothers bout it rhyte... Who cares the name when everybody enjoy themselves so much for that 7 days program. New people around the same age par coming from whole Mas, well literary, gathered at ITTC for training. Yes, we gone thru intense classes. So much of info thrown into our brain expecting our cells to soak them in in the speed of light. Especially to those Science background mia... of course headache le. The most crucial one is that after this training, the branch will definitely expect more from us, thinking that we are all well-prepared for the workloads.

Erm, haha~I try la k~ no guarantee yea

Can't help it~ :) I'm just training my skill~ and appreciate what I thought worthy of~ Yea...roll ur eyes.... XD

Happy time passes too swiftly~ SIGH!

 Outing geng... I miss Suzane Mah!!! PBB future BM

If I could work with them every single day, then my day to day work at branch will not be so difficult. I swear it will be much better. My job is an interesting one among all alienated fields out there. The fact that I have a big dream to score with much uncertainty, my heart longs for it so so badly I can't focus much on my current job. I don't know how to love it. I can only try my very best to serve it as much as it deserves. 

Big bunch of nice fwens I made thanks to PBB training classes XD. I'm looking forward to the mentoring season with COD at Menara PB. I wonder when it will be due... either end of Feb or beginning of March. 

 Close group mates :)

 One of the cutest guys in the course. He came into the picture with another guy from the earlier batch. Err, post for the sake of posting le. He balanced back the ratio in the class of

pretty boy : pretty girls

which was earlier not at all healthy! LOL!!!

That would be another 5 days training, this time at KL la... Whoever there missing me badly, please book reservation one week earlier... I gotta arrange my schedule~ I'm busy k XP

Gotta hit the club as I got to know Zouk is just opposite Menara PB~ Woot!!! The wild child shall be released! I wanna go to the nearest Wing's cafe and visit Chowkit road market. Wherever la...

Dammit JC!

Prawn Fact

As I was arguing this afternoon, peeling prawn to someone else can be a sign of hinting... 

Of course it's a subjective opinion and I'm open to objections. It will truly have to depend on the individual's character and other assumptions based on the particular person who feels the hint. 

So I threw out a topic during our 2 hours lunch break this afternoon. I suggested that if a guy actually volunteer to peel a prawn to a girl, it could be a hint to her, providing that the guy is not the ultimate gentleman in the first place. Those gentleman belong to another category and their hinting could altogether be the reverse of his own personality. This I leave it to those self-proclaimed gentleman to argue. 

So, why do I make this judgment? Peeling prawn to someone else is something very personal. It's a delicate action from someone to another. Firstly, it requires effort~ of course, it's not hard to peel a prawn! Seriously! It's the act of caring and wanting to do for that particular person on purpose that counts. It's tedious to begin with, by hand or utensil. Many people enjoy eating prawn excluding me but how many would like to peel it especially when you actually dressed up for a dinner or function. 

Food sharing is also consider an act of hint for different sexes. If you let him shares yours or the other way round, he is either your best friend or that you crush on him. Nobody in the right state of mind would randomly shares food or do something extra (like prawn peeling) to someone they barely know or not close with. 

In the funny survey this afternoon, the guys sided me. The girls have another thing in mind. Cuz they do that often. Well, my subject is different. They suggested perhaps I was slightly over-rated. Erm, I once share  sundae like ice-cream with few guys n girls. LOL. I noe! How GELI_FYING!!!! But we were best of friends. It didn't crossed my mind that they might sending me a hint. But I daringly shared with them despite the geliness was because one of the guys was my ex-crush. 

Again, this fact is subjected to the personality of the individual. For me, if I were to taste your saliva, I certainly like you a lot as best friend or crush. It does carries some weight of hinting, over-ratingly, for me.

Funnily, sharing food with parents seems unbearable, but with bestfriends I never think twice XD

Hush Hush

HTC Camera~ Rush of beauty...XD 

Erm... I'm just appreciating something flawless, or something I thought flawless at the right moment :)

Let me let go of the dependency I possess

Let me soar

 Let me live my dreams

The cat is ready to strike!!!

1101

There was a PBB Seremban Branch Dinner tonight at Royal Bintang. Well, Speechless XD. Saw some very funny characters... Really funny characters. 

Cool vs Nerds in reality. Erm... I, I wish I could slap myself from being so judgmental~ who am I to judge anyway. Hey, I can't help it! I'm too self conscious~ As much as I'm bothered with myself, I'm just too happy to find how perfect I am in comparison to some other people. How close~~ Where gone all my humility?

When someone wanna know you, he/she will come to you in one way or another. Some smart people are capable to make you wanna talk about yourself. You just wanna bare it. You wish he knew you all along because you can't seems to tell him enough. Some not so smart people will try to observe. They make you explain certain character of yours indirectly. Open questions. Only dumb people will ask a lot and expect you to answer truthfully without being annoyed. 

Sorry lor... 2 direct questions from stranger I will be pissed off already. 

I met all 3 kinds. Personally I think I'm more of a type2 people. But people shits all with me. LOL! My observation is much stronger than my verbal communication. And I can't stand too many shits in any one time. So, I'm selective in being luring to others. 

ITTC I'm coming! You can expect a huge tired smile on my big face now! XD

Sweet Dream Dearest :)

The Scientist

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

*Coldplay*

Fuck yea XD

 Oo...Never talk to JC when she is sleepy or on cloud nine~

She can be unbelievably unpredictable.

LOL

I think I'll marry a smart man and has an affair with a singer with a voice so beautiful who can play instrument. Never the other way round. 

MUAHAHAHAHAH WTF

I don't believe such perfect package actually exist!!! 

Security and passion always don't get along. I can solely fall in love with warm vocal. I adore good musical skill and I respect wide-knowledged being. All these are charming qualities I look into. But they don't blend in. Cannot prioritize pulak. So I came out with a bullshit like the above. 

LOL

Emo!!! 

I don't wanna work 2morrow!!! 

3days to 2nd training at ITTC Bangi. Commercial loan!

Pls...let the day come faster. I wanna break-free from my work place. 

> <

Miss U

Presenting to you all my beautiful biologist ladies...

Syndy, Jayne, MeeTeng, Pauline, Kenix, Hui Lee, YiQian, Pumpkin, ChinFang...

Eh....2 missing....

 My fav SauKheng

and 

Miss Cherly at Germany

Miss u girls so so badly. So badly!

JC Chasez

 

AKA Joshua Scott Chasez

Almost perfect :) Once. I wonder where he is now.

The best thing was the fact I loved him so badly, I don't have to be scared of letting him know that I do. I don't have to hide my feeling for him or to fake it. I don't even have to be bothered if he would love me back cuz it just is IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Sometimes when I play with fire, I'm cautious. When it is warm and cosy, I might get indulge with it. Just to that extend. But once it's getting way off uncomfortable, I'll back off. It's just not the right temperature. I won't allow it.

So gotta stay headstrong, heart steeled. Or I will end up falling for the wrong one at the right time or the right one at the wrong time. Disastrous eh~Seriously, I can't allow the wrong one to like me for the right reason and the right one to like me for the wrong reason too. Can I be less miserable? Well, as if I have choices now...Buahahahaha. 

Bottom line is I don't want you to like me. 

Pls.

Pause! Feel my pulse! Not racing. 

I'm safe. 

Endanger me... I need an adventure! The right one!

Bookmarks for Aisec S.E.E.D

 

The 250 pieces of bookmarks are finally completed! 

 

:) All 250 babies

~

Happie New Year 2012

This is a story about the girl that survived to another year XD

Well, nobody thanks anybody for their existence today what's more about the fact that they are still alive at this very hour~

Oh...why so emotional? LOL...Na, heartfelt jek

So, new year eh... I had a lonely one. Erm, I don't feel the urge to celebrate it. After the crazy Xmas and then the Melaka visit, I need sometime off to recharge myself. The weather made me sick. PMS made me extra emotional. 

 The day when Jcdagreat took over the stage!

Bidding goodbye to 2011 wasn't easy. Probably one of the reason why I was reluctant to welcome 2012. Last yeas was an amazing year for me. I wasn't saying it for the sake of saying but it was truly a year for Jcdagreat! 

Those moments were visually captured, recorded, verbally acknowledged, praised, alphabetically written in my blog, and stubbornly embedded in my brain!

 Random moments 

I can't recall them all, I can't tell the date confidently either. But thank god I wrote all shits in my blog. I can always trace them back and they don't lie. Just very subjective! LOL. Well, of course those Joanne's post of who crush her and who she crushes again to when she was outta crush are ignorable. Please just simply skip it. Those were junks! 

My girls... There are more... You should start suspecting... I could be gay 

Muahahaha

2011 was a year of celebration! A year I realized I needa cherish every moment spent with beautiful people. Good people can always be subjected to illness, to bad lucks to all evils.

Powerless, so powerless.... I am no god! Just the great! LOL. Dammit! 

2012... Well, it should be the year of my dream come true shall my plan materialized.

I will try my best. I will try to live more healthily! I will eat medicine more regularly. Ahhh... Fml!

I will try to live up to my wild child image. So my attitude and my image can be tally. Good girl isn't so beneficial. I will visit more places. Maybe some beaches and islands. Internal Mas la... how can you tell what's best in other country when you don't even know yours? 

I will try to confess the next time I fall in love. Well, I don't know how to love myself right... so, that would be impossible for me to commit. Bar has been raised. Not even glittering vampire like Edward can lure me... go find your bella XP. I'm buying myself another ring this coming Valentine. Na, don't pity me... You don't know what He has got for me all these while... 

Well, Same old same old la... Stay ego, stay confident, stay charming~

Look of the Year...LOL! I'm losing my youth wtf