10th of Jan

Heart broken was an understatement.
I cant believe that i was too just a subject to you.

You were disrespectful, rude and plain ugly with words and attitude.

I didnt find your accusation on me which got you triggered very convincing. That was your subjective view and it was not my fault.
But what your subsequent revenge to call me a liar, rude and a betrayer was stupid.

Your lack of compassion and fucked up words with zero sensibility totally threw me off.
You asked for the end of our friendship. You ask for it twice.
And i shall grant you your desire.

What i did today i hated every single shit of it.
But they were all what you want.
You wish for it.
You ask for it.
No matter how hard and how painful is my heart, i know i should agreed to what you want.

We were best of friends at least i thought. In fact i even fantasies we could be something more than just friends.

The fact that you blast your anger on me without even crossing your mind that our friendship has a value. It totally crushed me. A value you tarnished now is unfixable.

I didnt know what we built over the past one year was so easily screwed up. Its presence was so cheap and what we had along the year was all fucked up fake ideologies of friendship in my head. It wasnt mutual.

U slept one night and realized you barbaric attitude and regretted it and you said your sorry. Underneath this sorry i cant find ultimate sincerity.  Cuz u still think im in the wrong. What i did was a simple ignorance all because i was prioritizing my friend's bday.

So it was a red button issue for u. But that could trigger u to slammed the door shut in front of me denied for my clarification and send me rubbish requesting to end this friendship i valued dearly.

I put alot of effort in building each friendship i care and wish to keep. I swear to almighty what i have done for you were all truth n only extra goods. But that was what i deserve at the 10th jan night.

Do i deserve this?
Apparently yes.
Your sorry was fake.
Your sorry was late.
Your sorry doesnt work anymore.

I cried for a lost.
I want the best for u.
I want to wish you well.

Sorry that my heart is broken and i dont know how to find its way to forgive u at least for now. Your sense on appreciativeness has been worst with every given prioritization.
Ill take back all that so i can focus in my life.

Be careful of what you wish for cuz you just might get.

I hate you
I really hate you for making me hate u.

*

Just when i thought things were getting better...
You fucking ruined it again.

Give me strength.
I dont know how to go through this.
Changes is not something i could easily adapt to.

Im very tired.
Im sorry.

I have loved you.
Now we cant even be friends.

:'(