Friday 6 November 2015


Why make me believe and fall and then take back everything....
selfish and despicable.


I heard this quote that says... identify a growing man and a wrong man. What is my position to determine that? 



I have low tolerance of pain... so i avoid. I try to ignore and forget. So now i try to jump queue and wish to let go. Problem is u cant skip the growing process. Now im stuck. Save me pls.


Im learning to understand the sign all over again. Apparently horoscope judgement have sense and it aint no fake random details k.
It was my eyes being blinded, heart fluttered some wrong beats and the mind wander too far from home. 

Innocence. Or stupid. Or both. 

I remember yonlek and i wished for someone we love that could make our heart skips a beat. 

But i read that we should always find someone who makes us comfortable being around with instead of someone who always makes us stand on our toe.

im gonna sulk a long time. Another 3 years?


Suddenly the song Unwell makes some sense lyrically to me. One of my favourite song of all time. 

"Im not crazy, im just a lil unwell 
i know right now you cant tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
a different side of me

im not crazy im just a lil impaired 
i know right now you dont care
but soon enough you're gonna think of me
and how i used to be."

Will i want to stay?

'There's a place that I know
It's not pretty there and few have ever gone
If I show it to you now
Will it make you run away?

Or will you stay
Even if it hurts
Even if I try to push you out
Will you return?
And remind me who I really am
Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?'

Coming from the same place.
I always wanted some spiritual freedom. 



"It is okay... 
you will never understand. 
You dont understand. 
Sigh. 
I dont want talk to you now.
i dont want to say the wrong thing. 
I dont know how to talk to you any more. 
What you want me to do? 
What can i do?
What do you want now?
I cant answer you that. 
I really dont know what do you want."


Would i ever want? There is no if and no rewind button even if i wish to. 
Tq for all the beautiful memories. 

Year end coming. Close to a year now. 
So fast the time pass me by...
if felt like just yesterday. 

Many things have change over the period. 

I need a new start and a new aim. 
Help me. I need a pay raise and some good luck charm. 

More beach vacation yea! 
With committed human. 

Jcdagreat has to be back!


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