No, we're not promised tomorrow.
So would you love me like u're gonna lose me?

I know when the hotline bling.
That could only mean one thing...

You used to call me on my cell phone...
midnight when you need my love.

#mat jiwang

After many months...
We finally practice songs again. No, not the above songs. Haha.
Dammit. I miss us doing that.
Thanks for reminding me how much i love singing and how good i am doing what i love doing. I have always love u with the guitar Alvin.

I almost gave up yesterday night cuz bad flu and i felt sickly. But then today woke up and things went well slightly.
Little excitement but i promised to go and i did.

The moment i open my voice i knew i can and will and cant wait to perform this saturday.
Hope my best that it will be materialized.

I am often so close to say no or to decline an offer or an audition. Which is why my dreams never come true cuz i dont even allow myself to fall and fail and grow and be better.

By the time i realized this and thought that i finally ready with necessities,  i am already too old for audition and lacking of experience takes me no where.

What i can do now is to seize any chance to perform. I love being on stage that is for sure.
And i truly believe i have good enough talent to be the one in the spot light.

Sigh. Sigh.

You're hot and you're cold
You're yes and you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

What is not given i wont ask
But i will yearn
I will not beg but i will hope
i will seek but i wont steal
i will try but only to my heart's will
i will give only to my head's given sanity
i will learn only for the rights
i will wait only for the truth
i will stop when u fail me more than my ego could accept.

what you dont let me know i wont ask
but you dont expect me to understand
what you keep away from me i wont ask
but you dont expect me to be understanding
when you rejected me from entering your world even if i have tried time to time against my ego
you dont expect me to share mine wholeheartedly too.

there is no equality and there is no fairness too
i respect your secrecy
But i dislike it a lot cuz you denied genuine transparency that i seek for in a relationship between friends.
However like i have said, i respect that.
But dont expect mutual understanding flow and willingness to sacrifice,  a giving relationship from me.

I have been betrayed before.
Thus im extremely choosy in people who i let into my life.
Dont make me feel sorry for my choice.

Therefore, i will let go when the time is right.
It has passed anyway.
Ive failed my own promise. So how do i expect people to keep theirs.


Gah... whatever. Im throwing in the towel.