4th Jamming

I sounded great tonight despite little cough disturbing. I guess Strepsil helps =)))

When I was in NewTune dealing with bad cough and never ending rehearsals, I depended on it alot...

And of course, practice makes perfect... 

I can't believe I rock that song... What's going on by 4 non blones.

It wasn't perfect but I managed it... 

Might have an additional member in the duo. Hope to get a nice duet partner =)

*

Had the shock of my life!

Today, when I was opening samples from clinics around Seremban, I bumped to a funny looking plactic bag packing alot of liquid in it. Curious, I got closer to it, touch it and i felt it was sumthing hard submerged in the liquid. I kept asking around until they saw the form. It was written a uterus sample with the request to do a test to see cancerous level of the inflamed organ. OMFG!!! I was totally blank for a moment... I yelled and I thought I was going to faint. I was almost holding a real organ! If only I was in HQ, I might learn more examinations and all these knowledge about human diseases which I'm always keen to know.

No body really believe it when I say I'm shy ha...LOL. Well, if you feel this way, you are lucky cuz I found you nice and is easy going. So, there is no problem of breaking the ice. But with other strangers depending on which type and their intention that i assumed, I might be harsh, unkind, ego and even SHY!!! 

HAHA

Anyway, 3rd round practice le. I really like the melody of the guitar. He plays it so well, it draws me to groove along. I take it as a learning process. The chemistry between the musician and the singer is important and I'm glad we had it. By the end of today practice, my throat has taken its toll on me... My voice started cracking... Sigh. I have small cough and the I guess physical fatigue will affect the voice too. It sounded lazy..and really tired. LOL. Hana, will sleep early and will moisture my throat well from now on. Things I sacrifice for my love to singing...

Hmm, why would I have this feeling? A very weird feeling...

A reversed of what I usually feel.

I thk I am being crushed upon.

Normally I will avoid and probably test it out

But this time, I sorta like the attention... and just be cool with it.

Be it wrong, it's okay~ 

I'm just enjoying a really good companion =P

When you hear me scream at home, don't worry. I'm not being abducted. I am most probably playing with my dog. When you hear me sweet talking but never hear any respond, no, I'm not psychotic. I'm not talking with myself. If i do, you won't be hearing anything XD. When you hear me laughing with myself, and all geli stuffs are spoken, I should be hiaoing with my dog. LOL. The way i play with my dog is like the way i play with a baby. Pity baby is very old dy. A sick dog~ after playing crazily tonight, he just lay closely to the gate. I guess he is ready to sleep. I forgotten that baby is no longer hyper active. Even popping is a hard task for baby now. He won't be living forever, and I won't let him. It's time for my mom's freedom and mine as well. The day my baby leave me is the the day Joanne will die~ Emotionally. Someone please do pick me up.

10 years has almost pass by with you in my life. You are closer to me than my own brother, you probably love me as much as my mom. You never expect anything from me, nothing except for a little attention everyday. For that, I'm 100% Joanne when I'm with you... 

You are the dearest miao in my fragile heart, and you are 2nd in my list. 

=')

2nd Acoustic Jamming

=)

Im happiest when I sing!!! 

Paiseh... I memang 38 case lai de la. Esp when im happy. Ruin my shy shy image je XD

Thanks Dude. Thanks for being so good with the guitar~ I hope I don't dissapoint though. I enjoyed myself and that moment of sharing cure my emoness temporarily.

Hopefully, my 1st gig in Seremban will be materialized.

I'm a part time writer now... Freelance gua consider~ Wrote a total of 4 articles to @kampus magazine... 3 published le. Do click into their Fb page with the same name. Witness for yourself this new mag~ it's nice n new and it bring a different flavour into a typical uni mag. I wish to try my hand in TheStar and other major mag soon~

I love to learn & I am learning to love

Hiao De... XD.

I Miss You

I get this a lot these days

"what happen to you lar"

Wanna noe why?

It started since NewTune ends. Then Thesis. Then farewell!!! Now Internships. Sigh...

This is Why

The day when roomie pack her things up... Emo peaks =(

Crazy us... Miss u dear dear

='(

 Yay...we convo together gether lo =)

 We rock da dance floor guys...

&

My biggest family~ a mountain of music freaks XD

I miss my bees too... Do you hear me buzzing to you every single day??

Just to inform you that i'm okay and i wish you all the same....

Fuck u Americans!!!

Haley has the best voice among all and she was out! Okay, she might not have the best attitude but hey, they were tough on her ite... she received standing ovation more than once... She sang best in her last few performances. Damn it. It's not that i don't like the other two. Infact, I really think Lauren has a beautiful voice! But that voice was already found in Idol ie Carrie Underwood. Typical good voice but still lack specialty. Scotty is definitely gonna rock country music bigger than Taylor swift. He is one special thing. So they deserved to be in the final spots. I just love Haley so much that i found it hard to gave up on desiring that she could be in top two finalists. I was not shocked but just sad to hear the news. She was disbelieve herself. I truly admire her capability. None of the idol has what she has to offer. She is distinctly spot on, she is a soulful rock star with great showmanship. She is everything i wanna be =). 

I promise I'll be good, I'll do my planning well. I will really take up vocal class to strengthen my range and really pick up the right techniques. I dun wanna be good, I wanna be flawless. Let me be~

Love Steven Taylor~ He looks amazing even in his sixties... Love his new single! Yes, it feels so good.

~ I'm still not used to chat via phone~ LOL~ paiseh...I'll learn to speak nicely over the phone~

~ U remember what I've told you... I guess you never heard such funny case before~

Miss you bestie... Esp your annoying cute voice... XD

acoustic jamming

So I’ve tried! First official practice with Alvin. Pity guy, just came back from KL. He was eager to proceed so I have no reason to decline. Although our place is near, but night time, my area is sorta dangerous. So he picked me up and we jam at his home. Since he was busy earlier, he was unable to listen to the songs I suggested. He listened on the spot and played it out with his guitar instantly. Very skilful! Up to my expectation! In fact, true to his words!. He says he can get the melody once he listens to the song. Pro guitarist wei~ He’s got groove! He plays with feel and most importantly creativity. It’s nice he is an easy going dude and that makes me ease up very much. Well, not sure if it’s a good thing cuz I’m darn noisy. And I’m kinda strict and fierce when it comes to musical perfection. Lol. I hope I don’t frighten him. I’m looking forward to the second round of practice. After some studies with the songs, I bet he will definitely grab it nicely. I like it when he grooved with the song chorus ‘If I aint got you’. He mashed Stand by me with Beautiful girls and it works. This is the fun of jamming!!! Full band’s is cool and lively and acoustics’ is simple yet beautiful. I like em both. Thanks Alvin for the playing tonight. I am really happy to sing again. Paiseh, I will sayang my voice better from now on!

I’m still adjusting my life outta university. It’s hard because I miss it so much and I kept refreshing my mind with videos of my performances. I miss newtuners, I miss Pt dancers, I miss my coursemates, I miss my roommate and my freedom! My freedom! I feel lonely ever since internship started. My form 6 mates are not back yet but I doubt our friendship will ever be the same, as close as we are. Everyone is dealing with each other university departure. Separation is hard, especially for girl like me. Family issue is killing me. The negativities are torturing me. Sigh! 

I need to sing and dance again… I need to feel alive again. I can’t wait for my 1^st gig in seremban. I hope it works cuz I really need this shot of adrenaline in my veins right now. I might lost my voice if I continue to lose hope =( Was watching ATQ audition round 2. Hearing the contestants sang made me believe I could actually be a potential contender there. Well, I gave up again cuz I did not prepare myself for it. I was dealing with examination as well. Ukm enjoy doing everything earlier than any university. I don’t take failure or turn down easily. So, I won’t go embarrass myself there. I either go with full preparation or I don’t go at all.

I was sorta annoyed when the youngsters there said “Never mind, I’m still young. I can still do it next year”. Ha… bloody young! But then again… At least they tried. If they don’t live till next year, they tried. I didn’t. If I die young, I die beautifully but never satisfactorily XD. Since the first time I watched ATQ in astro, I knew I wanted to be there. Not that ATQ provide the best stage but it’s one of the huge singing competitions in Malaysia. It’s the best proof to parents who doubted that your talent is something good and singing could be a career. Typical parents la. 

Looping some of the songs of NTLP 14. How come every voices sound so darn good?? I’m not at ease and my mind is a mess. 

Now the song ‘Mi Gong’ is comforting my head a little… 

Zhen me ban, pusing here pusing there, can’t find you… shang zhe the yuen fang de ni…Zhai na li..Zhai xing ni… =’)))

Good night memories.

emo ne

I feel my life suddenly reach a standstill.

I feel so lost. I’m not doing anything worthy. I’m not chasing my dreams. I feel alone. 

When I was heading out for my lunch today, exploring the town, and the shops I could have my lunch, I felt lonesome. I was walking alone, thinking and deciding on my own, a lot of voices buzzing so loudly in my head. 

The world seems dead silence but in actual, the roads were busy and the sun was burning hot. I felt strangers’ eyes stared at me and was thinking to myself, I am not looking good these days. I don’t feel pretty at all. So, I wish I could avoid eyes. 

I used to have girls I kepit along wherever I go. Even if I do stroll alone, I knew across the road, around the corner, along the walkway or even in a day or two, I will see them. I realized that I came to a new chapter of life. Working life. In small lab in such small town, I don’t bump to many people. I’m the only young thing, who is Chinese in my work place. 

My hands and feet were busy as I don’t wanna have a break in between that might ignite the memory to recall itself. I don’t wanna miss anybody. This is my tactic, it always works. It works when I waved goodbye in form 5, in form 6 and I’m forcing myself to make it work this time too. I know I need to move forward or else I would not be having fun or really enjoy my presence days. I had a great years and I shall be ready to face great present and best future.

Ignore me...LOL

I finally know why I am still SINGLE all these years…

I realized I keep falling for good guys. And good guys feel stress when they are with me. I being exceptionally wild and too happy go lucky attitude scared them off most of the times. Well, I guess nia. 

The fact is that they always happen to like other girls. I really wanna know the reason why they choose other over me. I can’t help feeling desperate wanting to know the factor behind this matter- you know, for self betterment…right!

I realized too that for a guy to win my heart, he doesn’t have try so hard to impress me. It won’t work. I take time to even warm up with a new friend, what’s more to a person who try to be too friendly. You will just scare me off. I am afraid of stranger!!! I cannot be nice with strangers. I need to know more about you slowly and your sincerity in the first place. I am always looking for good quality guys, someone who aren’t afraid to be themselves and them not a JERK to begin with.

I’m seeking for the big 3C namely compatibility, confidence, comfort…

    Compatibility being able to tell my favourite, my personality, we sharing the same interests and our love for the same thing, not through asking me but through his observation and understanding. 

             Confidence is all about how he carries himself, how well he understand himself, knowing what he wanted, absolutely clear of his dreams and his passions and talents. And of course daring enough to be close to me. 

       Comfort is when he and I are comfortable with each other company. No lies and insincere masking or hidden agenda, being truthful and easy in our own skin- where we will have no problem communicating and shall never have difficulty coming up with topics and such. If you could make me let go my barrier and be friendly with you, it’s a good start. 

Guys that I met either do not meet all 3 most basic requirements or that I don’t fit into theirs requirement as well. Eventually due to my bravery of a mice and me lacking in tricks, my crush end up being snatched away or that I let go the crush. 

Many relatives have been asking if I have a boyfriend already and when will I get married whenever I am at a wedding dinner. That sucks. I always funnily joke about my dad forming a Feng Shui spell cursing me not to bump to a boy friend. My mom keeps telling me that fate has not reach yet and that I don’t need to rush. I believe with the fate thingy but hey, who is rushing anyway? 

Seriously, if I am desperate, do you really think I will still be single? For a girl who came out from an all girls school, it’s impossible that I don’t have a trick ot two in my pocket. And me being so well known in uni and with the number of functions and the amount of people I bump into, you think I don’t bump into people who crush on me… I tend to avoid. I never thought I would say that or even do that but I did. 

Sigh, so when will He appear? I wonder when I will crush on someone again…

That day was a terrible day. But that dream was the sweetest thus far. I dreamt of him. No, not Edward, not Ed at all. That one I tak mau dy. So babe, you are 100% free from this intangible gripping. This guy… has been very impressive. He came into my dream and it was lovely. Let me recall back what happened. We were probably in a building~ a supermarket or at a great institution~ there were escalator… So it couldn’t be public university. He sorta randomly bumped into me and brought me around the place. He was making a move to get closer and I was surprised. It was so sweet and he was so charming. The way he smiles was deadly. I just melted. When I woke up and realised that it was merely a sugary dream but I don’t feel awful or mad. My smile stayed attached for the whole day. It could mean something, it might not. What I am sure of is that he is a new friend and I adore him. I would like to know him better in person. Just as simple as that. Well, every time I dream on something like this, I normally cannot tell who the person is cuz his face will be blurry. I just assumed he is that particular person depending on the person that I am crushing on.

Ha, you see, that person could be anybody. I just don’t know who and his face keep switching. So, when will I truly see you?

Haley Reinhart & Jlo in American Idol

Inspiring!

I want to sing aloud just like those days in NTLP, in bandroom with music freakos...Or dance swiftly at Pusanika floor... I miss you all so much my miaos~

I'm not happy. Seriously not happy... I'm so down, I don't even wanna do a humming

I don't wanna hear myself, I just want some silence moment.

Internship is going fine, everyone is so nice and I'm learning big molecules now instead of tiny fragile fragments of DNA. I'm currently dealing with blood and urine from human. Everyday is a busy day and gosh, the stinks and the spilled urine in packages... Sigh. I'm running around with all procedure from A to Z. I hope these are all worth it.

Morning sucks and the whether is going crazy lately... Can't sleep well at night~

I need a life. I need my friends right away...

Be here for me okay? I don't like to feel lonely and be left alone.

And I'm not okay!

***

Happy Mother's Day

I love you more than anyone in the world. Please don't doubt it! Live your live healthily for me.