Tuesday 12 December 2017

If one day my relationship gone haywired i think imma declare war with pms.

Lol

I really wish to love like it was no body business.
Just me and my man. Dismiss those who doesnt matters. Other than family and close friends why would others be any matter?

I cant go public with it.
I cant confirm or deny my relationship to others.
I cant express my excitement and i cant even express my sadness.

Its killing to have this overbearing sensitivity.
I feel a lot.
Changes in your tone or typing pattern would got my brain juice working n pumping.

While, when i miss you ill be behaving like a 5 years old cry baby throwing tantrums.
Dont leave me unattended.
Little affection goes a long way.
Little coldness got me feeling blue.
Imagine little sweetness could get me over the moon. It isnt very hard.

The hardest part is always to get my big mouth saying the right thing and talk about it like a grown up. I thought falling in love on the ripe age at 29 would make me more mature in dealing with relationship.

I thought wrong.
Being in my 1st relationship meaning there are so much of expectation. So much of yearning and so much desire. While being so clueless i am also very curious. In this phase of a few months old relationship, despite having a foundation of 1 year, i need a lot of assurance. That we are fine. That things are good.
That we gonna get through this well.

We said we are going to have a good communication whenever system break down. Tried it done that and they often went well. Like a nut and a screwdriver. I often get loose and you would need to fix me up. Too much of fixation would probably made you feel fed up and i might not be worthy to keep up with.

Hmmp. Since when i become high maintanence?
:(

Problem is i overfeel and overcare.
One side of me wanting the world.
One side of me wanting the world for u.

I truly wish you have patience with me love.
I just really miss you and wanted our own space n time enough to kill my anxiety.
Those present restrictions are not helping and im not sure when n how would they be set free.

I guess i need to have a life outside this relationship.
The fact that we are gonna live like we are in long distance relationship.

I care about you so much sometimes i wish i could really hold back spilled childish feeling i potrayed.
Im sorry love. I dont wish you to feel pressure but at certain time i really could use a hug.

Im happy being with you and i wish to still have that level of comfort and happiness when im not with you.

I hope that you feel that im worth the hassle and we could work this out in a long run. Be patient with me dear.

One thing i love about you is your patience with me during our courtship. To stay long enough to see the best in me.

Will you still do?


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