Edward & I

Yea... Like seriously, Edward & I gonna be real intimate~

LOL

Adrenaline madness. 

Which is why I often don't let myself get so lonely for a period that long. A prolong Karaoke sick of mine initiated a soul meditation where I reviewed those 4 month's time that I have spent. Nothing musically ever taken place. Wow! It scared me when I found my art box literary buried in dust in a place I found surprisingly & distinctively near to me but left untouched. It also scared me when I do my calender checking and May is gonna come which marks the 5th month of year 2013. Yet I'm doing nothing. Bullshits I've made during the time I knew I was gonna get grounded in Seremban were all dead. Where have I been to? Where is Jcdagreat?

I was Chai Jo Yan, the banker & it sucks. 

I got my salary credited & I'm itchy to spend some cash. What's more better to spend on than those that you wish to buy for such a long long time. The real kicking point is that I've finally decided on what to buy. 

So yesh, I wanna fulfill my yearn to read lately, again~ regained due to loneliness. & I wanna start this music thing again. 

Didn't managed to get The Time Keeper by Mitch Albom. Dammit. The only left was a broken book. Being very rational & freaking perfection on certain matter, I couldn't force myself to buy something which is not perfect. I'm spending my hard earn money on it, & consumer right's wise, I did made the righteous decision. Arghh.... So hating my personality now. I almost brought it home.

I knew the guitar price ranging quite vastly depending on brand & quality. I should have ask opinion & even bring along a musically inclined person to judge on my choice. But it seems for a person like me who is indecisive, I thought having another person idea is just gonna make the matter worst. I knew if I don't buy it now when the kick comes, my sensibility on financial planning gonna come into the picture. 

Or I might as well go back to keyboard. Something I couldn't make up my mind on earlier. 

Thus, I bought baby Edward home. Proud & happy. I am a little intimidated by my partially burned desire to stay focus on this guitar lesson but noting that I've spent huge chuck on this baby, I will work my ass off for it. I promise to pick it up fast as I believe it will train my main instrument, my vocal to be better. 

Yay. Now I can... soon, play myself a love song. Yearn no more for any guy to play me one cuz I often thought one of the sweetest thing a guy could do is to play the girl her fav love song & dedicate it openly to her. 

*foreveralonesmirk* 

Thinking about it, I'm closing one more door for an open relationship. I restricted this myowngame's rules. Boygal romantic stuff aside, it has often frustrated me when you have to depend on a musician to play a song for you to sing or perform. Without them is like u're just voice without direction. 

Voice itself has melody & soul but without a music companion, it's not complete.

The last time I faced this problem was when I missed or gave up actually on sending a video to audition for Astro Talent Quest competition. I hated the fact they have a close audition this time, permitted only video audition. It didn't work out the way I wanted to. It was my last chance & I blew it off. 

Anyway, not gonna whine on it anymore. 

May is gonna be exciting.

It's gonna be good. :)