Damn damn damn.... what i do to make you here n near...#avril

That song was a real deal and was the hottest when i lost my 2nd main crush.

I remember he love this song very much and he often strum on the guitar and sing.
Those were the happy days. And noting much later that there were at least 3 other pairs of eyes locking onto him. Cuz that kinda personality apparently attracted 4 gals having main crush on him which later he broke 3 including mine.

Since then i have banned the name Edmund. Along side with Justin, Frederick, any Chan and some other names.... hahaha

The above are not what i meant to say at all today. Jeez....

Sigh.

Lately. I macam think throughout a lot of things...
I think i will manage to let go and enjoy this platonic relationship.

I have randomly hinted and sensing some answers although not as much preferred. I dislike it but there is really nothing i can do considering my ultra ego issues. Of which the issues only lies in my head. It has nothing to do with him or others. Ultimately if i never let him in at all he will never got the chance to occupy my head and got me crumbled.

So i only got myself to blame.

We talked about the 1 year that we knew each other of and he is thankful for my presence.
I named my 2015 as a year of revenge to avenge my past 2 years of miseries. And you appear in my life bringing so much of colours and fun into every little things that we did. We created a lot of memories together.

I only wonder if those memories meant anything to you. Cuz i cherish them a lot.
I had a merrier journey and i see my self opening up to chances and offers. Im thankful for your presence though i might never tell you in person. I hope by chance you will read this and realize that you made me a happier person. You made me experienced on how to love and be loved.
A feeling of being in a relationship... and why they name it complicated. But i was never in a relationship. Never was. Its nice to be able to tell how does it feels like now. Close but never is.

Thank you for everything.
I wish you well.