When i wanna talk to you, then im either too happy or too miserable.

I guess thats how i blog nowadays. The so so average day is not enough to lift my spirit and start a whole piece of writing.

I cant recall how many time i have clashed with u. Via watsapp i think today is the 4th. 

You know what it is fine. I said my sorry again for no reason and sealed the communication error. 

U think it was done. Far from done. Cuz it wasnt a problem until you confront me. You got your answer while i was just looking for one. 

Im done with this. Im taking back this privilege and will seek for fairness. Cuz frankly speaking i dont think you understand behind this privilege lies a lot of sacrificial that you dont see superficially and because it isnt visible and i aint bleeding thus you dont know how to respect that. Appreciation is not just what you say or the repaying via rewards or stuff like that. The world dont revolves around you and i dont owe you nothing!

What you think i said wrong i have apologized but what you said that hurt me back i have yet to receive an apology. A sincere one. Anyway u never feel that you done wrong. So fuck it. 

Ur revenge was a successful one.

*

Outta the blue i met another bold man.

Suddenly his presence become visible. 

I dont understand. 

That feeling of wanting to know wanting to explore evoke my curiosity again.

I wanted to know you better.

And i wanted you to know me better.

This is my baby step in reaching out and start to get to know a new person against my phobia for the 1st time. N i choose you.

I duno what u have in you. But i want to know.

I might not like it later but no harm trying.

You are a very good distraction for me to keep me off from feeling like a loser, a junk or a miserable bitch who cant help but wait. 

For one i cant tell if he is an answer or another flop.

I hope u r not a jerk. I presume u are not.

and im not as difficult as the feline i tried to be as long you dont sucks.

I dont hate u which is a good start for everything.

and you dont smell. Lol.

You aint ugly. Not at all.
In a way that i cant help but to look away.

In fact u always caught my attention. 

U have a full lips n a pair of considerably big eyes.

You aint a fat boy. Which i cant accept.
If i cant accept me being fat, you cant expect me to fall for a fat boy. Yet.

U dun text bad english. I can converse with u in a not bad mandarin too.

We dont have dead air moment yet. 

Gentleman 1st. A boy 2nd. 

Age is a factor but despite that you think mature.

You dont call me bitch for fun.

You dont yell at me or show me faces yet. 

You like dogs but hate my clan. Cat. Hmmp

You have dreams and is waiting to claim it.
I applause that.
Not everyone has aim and will work for it. 

Even if all above are fake. You cant fake chemistry.

Im glad we ate and chat over that one dinner.

Which i think cost the 1st bold to question me of being secretive and jealous kot n me hating it the next day. What is wrong with that.

I haven been so open up about my personal details for a long time and you offer a deary ears to listen. 

I hope we get more dates like this. 

However odd this can be. 

I just want to spend time with people who deserve me. 

You missed me.
Whoever.