Realization.

Hearing my bff got bullied by someone he care got me realized and face the truth that I too face the same situation. However i couldnt pick up the courage to seal this problem once and for all.

Months after months i gave myself a prolonged time to re-judge and re-analyse this relationship.
December was the month of beginning of ours. So this year end i have a lot of expectation on him and us. And again he failed me.

Thank you for clearing my mind and made the decision that i cant make.
Deep inside i still wish and ache for you. Maybe i miss the memories.

I love to cherish special days. Specifically birthday, christmas and new year. And you ditched me in all these special days.

U ditched me in a pre planned colleague trip. U almost ditched me in ur bday. I often ask if i have think too much. Want too much. Ask for too much. Did u give enough? And lately i realized that i have care enough. We cant and wont go any further. Perhaps that is the best for us.

Thank you for ditching me in all wonderful days cuz you made way for a blinded girl like me to finally see another presence of affection.

Your absence of not going the epoh trip found a new friend joined the group and that is the very 1st approach i found him being well and fine.

Your absence in xmas got me celebrated the lovely eve with him. Which made me realize how i love to be in a normal and simple relationship. I realized that for a whole prolonged year of 2015 i have been a wonderful listener and helper. I forgot that i love to share and talk too which were denied. Cuz i was busy caring for else one and forgotten to love myself.

Your absence in new year and your choice of appreciation to me and our relationship was just a phone call wishing me advance happie new year.

I went home ditching plan of celebrating new year and it was him who accompanied me thru the night via watsapp. He has his countdown but he would keep me accompanied.

Thanks to him i saw how under appreciated i was when i was with you and it was with another presence that i finally see this.

I dont doubt that you are thankful for my assistance in your career and as a friend. And do know that i too really am thankful for all the memories that we had.

And because of those wonderful memories, i found myself struggling to move on and let go of any tiny bitsy chances that we still have. Now that i see that you dont want this. I finally see.

Thankful for his presence for bringing a freshness for my dull and gloomy days. Pls dont dissapoint me.

Pls be brave and different.
Make my blog a happy playground and filled with stars and love.

2015 has been kind. So much of greatness.

Today is the 1st day of 2016.
I dont wish to do any resolution any more.
Cuz no point if i dont walk the talk.

PBB is 50th years old.
Im on my 5th year with PBB.
3rd year to my 2nd half of my life.

I only wish for 3 items now.
Vacations freedom.
Appreciation of life and celebrate love.
Health to have both the above.

Tq for loving me.
Whoever.

Today i sealed the unforgiving desire.
No more all these lame bullshit ok.
New year new start right?