Close your eyes so you don't fear them
They don't need to see you cry
I can't promise I will heal you
But if you want to I will try

I'll sing this somber serenade
The past is done
We've been betrayed
It's true
Someone said the truth will out
I believe without a doubt, in you

You were there for summer dreaming
And you gave me what I need
And I hope you find your freedom
For eternity...
For eternity

Robbie Williams. One of his good songs. 

Lazy sunday. I wanna sleep the noon off. But it just seems difficult. Sleeping is precious. Something i cant own easily. Sleeping a lot of times is awful. Countless night that end without nicely sealed day often leads to nightmares which will subsequently make me feel more tired and sombre in the next morning.

Then the cycle continue. Bad morning busy noon sleepy evening active night sleepless midnite and again it goes. I cant fix this. As much as i wanted to sleep i just somehow reluctant to give in. I dont know what i am afraid off. A new sad day or to go to an unknown nightmare awaiting in sleep? Both are equally dreadful. Hmmp. Fan zhin. Seriously. I need to be sick to be able to rest. 

Last friday nite...

Triplet date. Very wrong triplet. Very awkward. 

It will never happen again. There is rules with triplet date. My trio with jo n lek is match made in heaven. 

Most of the time ill just have duo or group gathering. But it was a good and mind provoking date. I see clearly what i truly want and what is right for me. 

The strong woman article i read in FB was a total bullseye. I feel like it was written for me and by me to remind me not to lose me. Lolz.

I need jcdagreat back. Pls. Come back to me. 

I used to have difficulty differentiating left n right side with other languages except if you mention it in english.  

I have OCD when it comes to things under my responsibility. A nurtured OCD. I didnt born with this mental disease. 

I have trouble saying no. I cant say no even if it is against my will. I hate disappointing people so i end up sabotaging own interest. So i start measuring people needs on their demand. If there is no death and health related and no persistence thus i will secure my own interest 1st above everyone else. 

Cuz i realize not many people are grateful for the extraish thing you have done. Everyone have short term memories and easily take things for granted. And many are vengeful and cruel. 

Thus selfish is my new aim. Nothing is fair in the world. Gender equality and fairness my arse. Mutual love and understanding are total bullshit. 

Failing to prioritize shows disrespect to the important ones. 

So ive learnt. As much as i hated it reality sucks. 

You maybe one of the many gems that dont mind burning to sacrifice thyself but some like their world in eerie darkness and you would just be the bitch who blinded them with light. Whoah...

If only i took english literature and not biology.... hahahaha 

I like being a banana. I love how i could mess around with words so that only another banana with similar sign or who cares will understand. 

Thanks for taking back everything that was ever given. A temporary shelter that provide warms and fun. The 4th. Im used to the circle. I just thought wrong. Again. 

Sensibility against emotion. Dammn.... 

Ding ding ding. Emotion won round 1. 

Haiz. Try napping la.