I’m still adjusting my life outta university. It’s hard because I miss it so much and I kept refreshing my mind with videos of my performances. I miss newtuners, I miss Pt dancers, I miss my coursemates, I miss my roommate and my freedom! My freedom! I feel lonely ever since internship started. My form 6 mates are not back yet but I doubt our friendship will ever be the same, as close as we are. Everyone is dealing with each other university departure. Separation is hard, especially for girl like me. Family issue is killing me. The negativities are torturing me. Sigh! 

I need to sing and dance again… I need to feel alive again. I can’t wait for my 1^st gig in seremban. I hope it works cuz I really need this shot of adrenaline in my veins right now. I might lost my voice if I continue to lose hope =( Was watching ATQ audition round 2. Hearing the contestants sang made me believe I could actually be a potential contender there. Well, I gave up again cuz I did not prepare myself for it. I was dealing with examination as well. Ukm enjoy doing everything earlier than any university. I don’t take failure or turn down easily. So, I won’t go embarrass myself there. I either go with full preparation or I don’t go at all.

I was sorta annoyed when the youngsters there said “Never mind, I’m still young. I can still do it next year”. Ha… bloody young! But then again… At least they tried. If they don’t live till next year, they tried. I didn’t. If I die young, I die beautifully but never satisfactorily XD. Since the first time I watched ATQ in astro, I knew I wanted to be there. Not that ATQ provide the best stage but it’s one of the huge singing competitions in Malaysia. It’s the best proof to parents who doubted that your talent is something good and singing could be a career. Typical parents la. 

Looping some of the songs of NTLP 14. How come every voices sound so darn good?? I’m not at ease and my mind is a mess. 

Now the song ‘Mi Gong’ is comforting my head a little… 

Zhen me ban, pusing here pusing there, can’t find you… shang zhe the yuen fang de ni…Zhai na li..Zhai xing ni… =’)))

Good night memories.