I finally know why I am still SINGLE all these years…
I realized I keep falling for good guys. And good guys feel stress when they are with me. I being exceptionally wild and too happy go lucky attitude scared them off most of the times. Well, I guess nia.
The fact is that they always happen to like other girls. I really wanna know the reason why they choose other over me. I can’t help feeling desperate wanting to know the factor behind this matter- you know, for self betterment…right!
I realized too that for a guy to win my heart, he doesn’t have try so hard to impress me. It won’t work. I take time to even warm up with a new friend, what’s more to a person who try to be too friendly. You will just scare me off. I am afraid of stranger!!! I cannot be nice with strangers. I need to know more about you slowly and your sincerity in the first place. I am always looking for good quality guys, someone who aren’t afraid to be themselves and them not a JERK to begin with.
I’m seeking for the big 3C namely compatibility, confidence, comfort…
Compatibility being able to tell my favourite, my personality, we sharing the same interests and our love for the same thing, not through asking me but through his observation and understanding.
Confidence is all about how he carries himself, how well he understand himself, knowing what he wanted, absolutely clear of his dreams and his passions and talents. And of course daring enough to be close to me.
Comfort is when he and I are comfortable with each other company. No lies and insincere masking or hidden agenda, being truthful and easy in our own skin- where we will have no problem communicating and shall never have difficulty coming up with topics and such. If you could make me let go my barrier and be friendly with you, it’s a good start.
Guys that I met either do not meet all 3 most basic requirements or that I don’t fit into theirs requirement as well. Eventually due to my bravery of a mice and me lacking in tricks, my crush end up being snatched away or that I let go the crush.
Many relatives have been asking if I have a boyfriend already and when will I get married whenever I am at a wedding dinner. That sucks. I always funnily joke about my dad forming a Feng Shui spell cursing me not to bump to a boy friend. My mom keeps telling me that fate has not reach yet and that I don’t need to rush. I believe with the fate thingy but hey, who is rushing anyway?
Seriously, if I am desperate, do you really think I will still be single? For a girl who came out from an all girls school, it’s impossible that I don’t have a trick ot two in my pocket. And me being so well known in uni and with the number of functions and the amount of people I bump into, you think I don’t bump into people who crush on me… I tend to avoid. I never thought I would say that or even do that but I did.
Sigh, so when will He appear? I wonder when I will crush on someone again…
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