Le surprise friday

If you are reading me today, you would find me utterly cute and down right humiliating to have even guess that the confession was your surprise.

What was i thinking!!

He kept asking me to guess as we continued to head to Seremban 2. And we went to Aeonbig. Yet i still couldnt guess it until he drove up to 2nd floor parking and we faced greenbox.

That was really a big surprise dude.
I got overwhelmed and i couldnt hide my excitement plus nervousness as well.
I was like why wouldnt i guess it...

Earlier of the months i would pester him about singing with me but he kept denying it. I gave up long time.

Perhaps i was too obssess with the idea that he would finally confess to me.

I guessed wrong.

It was a great evening and it started off quite funny. Both of us were shy about starting it. I took the lead and very quickly he warmed up too after we ate our buffet.

Another good vocalist. He has a different tone, one i have yet to encounter. Damn high pitch wei...
Still i perfer your happie bday song. My happie bday song on my day... la la la...

I guess the illusion of you in my head dissapoint me yet again. I thought you would date me on Vday. You didnt. I thought you would date me on my bday. You didnt, sincerely. I thought you would finally confess on friday as you told me about a surprise i kept asking. You didnt.

In all the occassions, you were there, close and warm but you denied everything that i wish you would.

Did we try enough?
Im losing patient and it is getting on my nerve.
This got me thinking what a real relationship is?
Would i rather be in a relationship and not having this connection? Or that I should wish for a certainty to bring value to this relationship?

I dont think of you as a player.
I genuinely see you as a good man.
I dont know if you understand what you want.
Or that you are certain of your feeling.
There are a lot of things in between, of which might make you change your mind.

What i know is simple.
I like you. And love should be simple.
It is not suppose to be filled with so many doubts and delayed certainty.

Perhaps you have your own planning and maybe i was rushing in for no reason.
But one thing i know dearly of, confession need courage. Maybe it is not there yet or that i dont worth your's yet.

I would not talk about this anymore cuz it will just exposes how vulnerable i am to this wild thing called love. I just wish to enjoy my time now in august.
You have already been given ample of time to prove yourself.

I dont like to be questioned.
But i question myself everyday.
And i was being questioned everyday.
So many 8pozai n 8po nui.
Sigh.

I know i have your priority too.
I just cant help my pms and today sensibility is low.
This is the most raw of me and most heartfelt you could ever read me.
You have occupy my attention and my interest and when i really care of someone, all i ever wanted from them is their happiness.
I just want you to be happy.
Best if i could be the reason of it but if you are best without me, i would walk out myself.

Just be clear with me.
Okay?

Dont be dejavu.