Long break, plans to escape failed, period.
So basically i was not in my right state of mind. The only thing i can look forward to is NTLP in hope to see similar faces that reminded my love for my passion. Each year my favourite batch mates are getting lesser as somehow they've found reasons not to come back. I thought i was being superbly loyal as i make it every year. Perhaps it was just me who dont have a life. Fyi, they often inform the performance date to the senior very much earlier. Anyway, deep down i know the club will still survive even if i dont go back. But i wish to carry this legacy as a loyal participant and hope it last and persist as long as possible.
I manage to get a tour around ukm, places with beautiful memories for a good 3 years.
The happiest days months and years' memories i had were mostly built over there.
I was worried when some fwen told me their rehearsal kinda not coming together. And i knew the big man Andrew was away for some oversea assignment. So i was pretty aggitated. I reached only about 3.30pm and got into the hall quite late. I only manage to guide a pair of duet some choreography and showmanship. Then i got jealous again cuz i wasnt the person performing that night. Sigh.
I love standing on Dectar stage. So overwhelming. So empowering.
As usual those old tuners who came back will be jio for a dinner at restaurant old man. It is a ritual for the old tuners. From 6 people initiated to a total of 15 ppl. Nais. All my favourite people are alive. It has been too long since i last ate there. So nice but so full of ajinamoto.
This year for the 1st time i drove and went alone.
Not that i dont like it. I go as i like and decide as i perfer.
I have invited my 1st choice to go with me but i wonder what made him indecisive. And he didnt say yes or no. Being always the dissapointed party, i suposed he say no with silence. As i mentioned before, i will only invite once because ego is one issue. 2nd is very much about priority.
Whether or not it is given. I guess i wasnt given the priority. Who am i to ask for that right?
I seriously dislike it.
Do not delay an answer to any invitation.
Because if i were to know my 1st choice will not wish to go, i could have ask my other choices to go.
But im glad i went alone anyway.
I have decided early on that it would either with him or i go alone.
The show was great.
Juniors did well. The informal mc were hilarious as hell and dancers were hawt.
Many good vocalist this year. Musicality flow was okay and some songs were memorable.
Ended too late though. Resulted i x go alfaris for a supper. Dammit. Dammit.
I could have just really join them and go back much later. But thanks to my family earlier drama initiated by a airless tyre. Fuck that shit. Thank you family. So i thought i better go home earlier to prevent other drama. And ive promised to get to one person about a movie date. Thus i would like to get to him earlier.
Well done NTLP 19.
I hope each junior feel the excitement and experience like i do. When you get to my point of life, you will most probably be thinking hey, i was great on that stage back in NTLP 14... once in a life time experience.
Well. Unless u r jess lee, who turns out to be having much bigger stage out there after ukm n ntlp.
Fyi, she is our ntlp senior yea if u havent already know.
***
D movie date May 3rd.
Captain America : Civil War
Sorry im definitely on Team Iron Man.
You cannot always go your on way because it was right and along the way sacrificing all the important persons and necessities.
Before you set who is your enemy in a fight, you must know if this fight is worth it. You must know why your friend turns into enemy and why they stand on you way. There is always a grey area where compromise can be made and final peace decision can be agreed.
So for his head strong and little concern to all parties involved, i have no choice to stand with Tony Stark.
And you chose Captain America.
Dammit.
***
May 4th
FlyLikeAG6 team dinner.
A team built by 5 colleagues. None of them wanna come out with a name. Thus i named us that. Seems legit!
We ate at Bangkok Wok. A place where a few special occasion occured before.
Was sickly and moody. He got pissed off with something and whenever he is pissed, he kinda lost his cool and become distanced. Which i dislike. He chilled much later after everyone has arrived.
I wonder why the relationship topic came about and it became an issue everyone is harping on.
Being the least experienced one, i just sit in silence and listen. Im glad they were harping on you as well.
Well. Surely everyone has ones idea about relationship stuff. No right or no wrong.
But i may agree or disagree.
I have a lot to say but i wasnt sure if they are ready to listen or wish to listen. Thus at the end i kept my mouth shut. For a leo not to speak her mind is incredibly difficult. You have no idea.
Basicaly you just need to be sick. Haha. And you wish to listen to that specific person in the group to talk his mind.
But somehow i wasnt liking all the details that night.
I wonder if it was the feverish feeling or i was blushing madly.
My face was heaty. I was not angry but i just wanna get away. I dont know why.
Weird.
Nway. Better get back to work. Double effort at work got me an oustanding spot. But in an uncertain relationship? Im not even sure if it is worth it.
So long this uncertainty is not taken away, i wont be able to have faith in you.
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