Have u ever been thrown in a situation which u cant choose side?
Have u ever been seated in a place which u can only choose side?
U cant talk. U cannot not talk.

So much of consciousness kicks in.
My gaze was down most of the time or on the women or the food.
I cant look at either of them especially when im going through this phase.
I know my heart has an answer.
Im pretty sure all 3 of us have thoughts on its own.
Maybe not as wild or not as deep. Perhaps not at all.

See you (I) made me remember the lost we had.
And your choice for us.
The sad ending we had.
The dinners we had.
The conversation we had.
The jokes you told me to make me laugh.
The shared emotion you were feeling.
The everything we once shared now can no longer be practised.
Now we have silence.
You often look deep into my eyes and made me feel uneasy cuz i blushed.
You were always around. Your scents.
Your laugh. Your funny faces. :'(
Im sad seeing you unwell and unhappy which you can no longer share with me.
Cuz im not in the position to clear your messy head even though i still care.
A demand to end.
A granted wish.
A confession not answered.
A withdrew hope.

See you (II) made me think of a new beginning which comes along with new uncertainties and new doubts.
Everything has to start from zero and the complication of a new start.
The hardest yet challenging step.
I dont want to try if this is not mutual.
I dont need another let down.
Dont let me fall back to the past.
You are not a replacement.
There is no competition. No comparison.
You are not a mere distraction.
A new recognition.
A new accessment.
He is not my past neither you are my future for real.
He is not a disaster but neither you are as angel as i wish.
Like u always say... observe la.
Give time. Give assurance.
Thank you for being a successful spy.
Wont put you in such situation next round. I know how difficult it was. Im sorry. I never wanna organize surprise any more as well.
This will be the last.
It funny how i got to know more about you only when you were attacked by the gals. Haha...

So weird positioning. Cuz i was late to the party.
I think this would be the last weird gathering ba.
Its only for this bday party for my beloved Ms Yap's Bday. All chosen participants are those who appreciate my biz M. And those she care and are close with.

My previous favourite 3some tgif gathering will never be materialized again.
Ill be more reserved.

Happie Bday Ms Yap :)

' I always thought that im the star that shine bright in the dark places. Until you came along and shine ever brightest so sincerely and inspiring.'

My heartfelt to her.