My Valentine.
I used to think that the specifically labelled Valentine should be someone that you wanted most at the moment. One special one.
Until yesterday you shown me that Valentine could be someone who simply understand you and has chose you among all people to be with.
10th years! I have known u for 10 years but it was only last year we grown so much closer. You allow me into your mind and therefore u broke the boundaries and we gained trust.
While yours is away and mine got stuck in some woods, we've got each other.
Yours is more expressive while.....
Your understanding to me and vise versa isnt determined by the number of years we have known each other but rather how much we want to know about us. So age and years are always not my concern when it comes to relationship and friendship. But the number of years we have now and counting represent how much i appreciate you to keep you as long as i could.
Patience is the key to my heart. It takes someone's patience to really sees in me. To know me. To take off my mask of ego and break the ice. It takes effort and persistence. Many of them gave up along the way and i dont blame them.
Loyalty is my weakness. Cuz i will stay as long as i can just as much as i believe. Taken so much of my youth.
And congrats to my 3rd crush :)
He was officially no longer available to us single ladies.
Lucky girl she is. I hope you guys well.
Best wishes, Malcolm.
From the bottom of my heart.
Im so jealous of her :)
Thank you for pampering me with all the surprises.
Why are u so good with these?
Your not-too-early-but-not-too-late notice to date me plus all the reserved ahead schedule of activities indicated to me that you think ahead and has plan for both urself and me.
There are times i could really use little brain and just be guided by you. I felt prioritized. U understand my insecurities and perhaps yours too and uplifted my gloominess just by simply being around. Therefore im grateful.
Feline will have her weak and tire moments.
Specifically on special dates like that of which shamefully i still very much liken the Vday spirit. (despite me acting like a boy and wanted fairness and some other bullshits and knowing too well vday has been too commercialize with wrong messages).
Im still very much a woman. And sorry to say woman is simply unreasonable and impossibly hard to understand. It takes a real man who care to truly bear with it. Are you man enough to challenge that?
But do you know bottom line is to spend time with the chosen one? Fancy stuff is just a bonus.
So what went wrong?
One should not evoke another's curiosity and expectation if there is no serious intention of getting anywhere with anyone.
Especially weeks before... erm... wait. But then again... it falls back to well... just me.
The illusion of another person... e
Expectation solely based on illusion of another figure to fulfil one's insecurities... hahaha...
I really have problem with people who keep me guessing and waiting in all aspect of things. Time management. Promises. Expectation. Planning. Commitment. Cuz i have taken too much time on each individual previously... and age is catching up... oh shit. Nothing to do with age! You can say i have learnt my lesson...go scroll up to paragraph 5.
If you cant, wont, or unwilling, or unable... just say it? Hint it? Seriously... But then again...
It was just me who set prioritization.
Nobody knows or sees it. So it isnt anyone's fault. Just the illustration of a being existed in my head totally fails me.
So i should just stop, I mean Seriously Stop having expectation. Yet i didnt ask for fanciness. I was only looking forward for one's presence.
The ultimate gift of one person to another is one's presence. Agree? It never about just physical presence...
The one who wont only think of you when he is lonely at 12am. But who check on your well being when he thought of you despite his schedule is overwhelming him.
You can be with a person just centimeters away and yet you are totally shutdown emotionally and ignored.
Understanding is the key to this matter. To know one's pattern, interest and habits.
How one cares and how one cherish.
So... what am i saying here?
Im still a sour plum at the moment.
This i cant fake. But being understanding enough as a person (not a woman), Im not mad.
Just sour. I think i have the rights to that.
It wasnt the V day that put me in this position to be grumpy. But yea... fuck it.
I suka la. What i show others (being divinely sensible) and what i feel underneath doesnt collide.
I should really write a novel. My readers will be perhaps ladies from 18 yrs old to 28 yrs old who often think too much and expect too much only to disappoint herself. Ill make sure to enlighten their miserable and horrible feeling of being too ego and insecure and not dated. Omg. Omg. Let me see...
Ill name the book as...
You are not the only one...
Or
The charm/curse of a super egoistic woman
Or
Get a life you bitch #Fml
hahahahahaha....
Oh well.
Happie Valentine's Day
and
Happie Human's Day aka Chor7.
*smirk*
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