The title itself is an insult to me....but it totally reflect me or at least the way I behave today. I was feeling much relax today knowing that I will leave the branch this evening. I lost the interest to resign and I was looking forward to where I will be send to next week. I couldn't access to my lotus notes/email cuz the PC I was using can no longer use the normal/old hard disk and the interface has change. That was my only comforter in branch and it was taken away from me.
Around noon time, CA told me that Mr. Koh, the one who arrange our schedule had email to me and that I will remained in the same branch for another whole week. I could feel a shiver. I couldn't react, I force a smile cuz my CA too was feeling my pressure. In fact, they think I was too tensed up. I went out for lunch feeling so lost, maybe this could be the ultimate reason for me to resign. I found the courage to message Mr. Koh. I ask for a branch switching cuz I couldn't take the pressure here. It was so bad I knew that was my limit already. He wanted me to call or to drop by to RM office for a talk. I said I can't cuz I don't want to cry in public. The fact that my tears were already shedding while eating nearby the bank, it was only wise to not have more verbal confrontation. That was very shameful. This situation happened once when my 1st dog died. Well. He was very persistence to meet me. I promise to call him after work, but I didn't.I just text him again, and told him that I will lean to control my nerve.
While I was preparing to leave, my OIC asked me to meet him. I thought it regarding things I needa amend, again. So, after doing the report and claims, I met him, expecting his lecture. He wanted to see my reported cases instead. Shaking his head, possible acting very yeng zhai there...but he might not know that that insulted me. Then he told me that Mr. Koh called him just know. He already helped me amend the schedule so that I only need to be in the hell branch untill Wed. Then Thur-Fri to Tenggera branch. Now, he called to the branch to talk to my OIC. I don't know why he didn't ask for me or maybe he wanted to check out what actually went wrong in the branch that made me prompt such request. My OIC said that I did okay, coping with it. I just frown... I wish he could told the actual truth. In fact, I do want him to know that I didn't do well. He was protecting me thinking that Mr. Koh was inspecting my performance. He even told me not to self-admit bad.. what he didn't know was I already made that confession way earlier in the day.
Sorrey.... A senior MCO called to the branch at noon to look for me... I thot Mr.Koh asked him to do so, but he said he sensed something wrong when I didn't reply email. Very nice man indeed.
Nobody can really help me but myself. I decided to give it another try. Let's see if I could last a month alright. My weekend here is too precious now. I will need to be at Melaka this Sunday until the next friday. Gosh....
Imma specially dedicate my Saturday to my mom only. I couldn't celebrate MotherDay with her on its actual date :( She needed me...Or perhaps I needed her... Haiz. No more crying pls.
Bengkak le la....
Never ever thought leaving someone suffer in the lurch will make him grow. Not all the time it works. For me, I will appreciate your effort but I will not thank you. Cuz you made me realize you are not a friend in need.
Pls be happy Joanne for the weekend... Smile the widest smile of the week.
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