EVER since I was young I knew I could sing. I was once brave, like a tiger. No hesitation; no nervousness.
I joined the choir in primary school. Music class was always my favourite.
I remember singing and humming my own song in front of my old house facing a field. Every time the wind blew and the grass swayed, I believed it was nature’s applause. What an imagination, huh?
From Form Two, I started joining singing competitions in school. But I never won because I was always nervous when performing. It was dreadful! Each failure lowered my self-esteem and I felt myself going deeper into my own shell.
Form Six was the turning point in my life. I didn’t just enjoy true friendships; I also I found my passion as a singer. My friends supported me and believed in my voice. It was incredible. Of course the occasional karaoke outing helped too.
In university, I had the greatest journey as a performer. I joined a club called New Tune Music Workshop and broke free from my shell. After that, I was able to control my nerves and deliver my very best on stage. That raised my self-belief.
I guess I have my mum to thank for that. She never brags about her children; she does not want people to accuse her of being a boaster until we are able to show some results.
Mum knows I can sing, but she insisted that I get singing lessons if I really wanted to go for big competitions.
Singing classes can help one to improve but they don’t guarantee that you will excel in competitions. I wanted mum to know that I have natural talent and with experience, and much improvement, I can compete. As much as I want to impress the people out there, I most wanted mum to be proud of me!
I don’t blame her. She is a music lover and she appreciates good songs, good vocals and, obviously, I have yet to meet her expectations. She might have compared me with the singers she thinks are good – you know, like Celion Dion and Mariah Carey.
All that changed when she heard me over the radio promoting our club’s annual concert. I sang an original song composed by a senior. I had a bad sore throat. But mum called and told me I did a great job. She actually loved it. I was so touched, I cried that night while blogging about the whole trip to the 988 radio station.
She and dad made it to the concert in Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia and watched me perform. It was the highlight of the night, and credit goes to my wonderful band mates for the song, and all my friends out there.
I was awarded the performance of the night. It was my best show ever and I was so thankful my parents were there to witness my glorious moment.
Mum is the reason why I stay humble while nurturing my talents. I am well aware of my strengths and weaknesses. She is the reason I keep striving for acknowledgement.
My mother has done a great job in raising me. Probably not in the right way all the time, but I happen to be the best daughter – very understanding, annoyingly sensible and overwhelmingly tolerant. Ha, excuse my self-indulgence.
Every story has a beginning; mine had a rough and delayed start. But it will only get better, and possibly be larger than life.
Well, wishes and passion alone will not get me to my destiny. I cannot foresee my future but I will definitely fight for it. For now, I’m proud of what I have gained and I am grateful.
I might never ever end up fulfilling my dream to be a singer, but at least I would have tried. And I’ve "tasted" the best thing a singer ever wants – acknowledgement.
And you were there for me, mum. I love you.
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Ever since I was young I knew I can sing. I once had the bravery of a tiger. No hesitation. No sign of nervousness.
I joined choir when I was in primary school. Music class was always my favourite. I remembered singing and humming my own song in front of my old house facing the grass field. Every time the wind blows and the grasses dance with the rhythm of the wind, I would believe that that was the applause from the nature. What an imagination huh? I love fantasising. That was the only joy I had in my childhood.
When I reached secondary school, I joined many internal singing competitions but I had suffered failures ever since I was in from 2. I had many complications in performing, nervous breakdown being the worst difficulty I had to deal with. It was very dreadful! Each letdown lowered my self esteem and I felt myself being locked deeper in my own shell.
Form 6 was the turnover point in my life. I didn’t just enjoy true friendships I found there, but also my passion as a singer. My friends supported me and they believe in my voice. It was incredible. Of course the occasional karaoke outing helps too.
In university, I had the greatest journey as a performer. I joined a music club named New Tune Music Workshop and that was the greatest thing ever happened to me. Well, after breaking free from the shell, being able to control my nerve and finally be able to deliver my very best on stage has given me some of the best moments in university. Ego raised and my self-believe was at its highest peak.
I guess I have my mom to thank for. She never brags about her children. She does not want people to accuse her as a bragger until we are able to show some result. She knew I can sing, but she insist that I must get singing lesson if I really want to go for huge competition. Singing classes obviously help one to improve but it doesn’t guarantee that you can excel in competition. I want her to know that I have natural talent and with much experience I have collected, with much improvement, I am able to compete out there.
Isn’t it funny when you have the whole world telling you that you are good, but you don’t have much support in your own family? Isn’t that ridiculous? As much as I want to impress the people out there, I most wanted her to be proud of me!
But I don’t blame her. She is a music lover and she appreciates good songs, good vocal and obviously, I have yet to meet her expectation. She might be comparing me against the vocals she thinks is good, you know those of Celion Dion’s and Mariah Carey’s.
All that change when she heard me over the radio station promoting our music club annual concert. I sang an original song composed by a senior with bad sore throat. She called and told me that I did a great job. She actually loves it. I was so touched, I cried that night while blogging about that whole trip to 988 radio station.
She and my dad made it to the concert in UKM and saw my performance. It was the highlight of the night with thunderous applause very much due to the creditable song by my wonderful band mates and all my friends out there. It was awarded as the performance of the night. In fact, it was my best show ever and I was so thankful they made it there to witness my glorious moment.
She is the reason why I am staying very humble while still nurturing the talents of mine. I am well aware of my strength and weakness. She is the reason why I keep striving for acknowledgment. My mother actually did a great job raising me. Probably not all the time in the right way but I happened to be the best daughter, with great qualities possession such as being very understanding, annoyingly sensible and have overwhelming range of tolerance.
Ha, excuse my self-indulgency.
These little success of mine might be consider small if I were to be compared with others but for a gal who never has a chance to brush up her talents while possessing a great fury heart to justify her passion and love towards her credibility, these little credits became my stepping stones.
Every story has a beginning and mine happened to be one rough and delayed. But towards the end, it will only get better, maybe extraordinary and possibly larger than life journey. Well, wishes and passion alone will not get me to my destiny and the almighty hates me.
I can’t foresee my future but I will definitely fight for it. Till now, I am proud with what I have gained and I beyond doubt am grateful.
I might never ever end up fulfilling my dream as a singer but at least I tried and I once tasted the best thing a singer ever wanted; Acknowledgment.
And you were there for me, mom.
I love you.
*
My ori piece very complicated meh? A lot of grammatical error ke? Or too hard to understand~ too much twisting? LOL... Long way to go le Jc.
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Please fix me... criticize me for my betterment
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