random....

These few days, i was very reluctant to push myself hard to do my reading. I wonder y is this happening to me. Probably i'm having my elective papers 1st, then only majors and knowing that after these few subjects, the coming days would be hell.... so perhaps, my mind set was adjusted to best suit relaxation i wish to have before encountering days of doom.

GOSH!!!

2day paper.... if only... there are many if only especiaally when you come out from the exam hall... sad....haiz. yell like a mad gal...cuz i could have score one of the most satisfying question in da paper... cuz the rest answered, i wonder if they were my own theories or the theories learned...haha.

That day i had a dream about him... we made love and it seems perfect untill the dream told me that i was the 3rd party and he was my good fwen bf...watda f***... guess i day dream too much... then my roomie told me that in the morning where the dream progressed, i laughed out while i was sleeping... oh shitty...

SWT-SWT-SWT

i wonder if i really like him or probably i just wanna a life outta the singlehood. but,i did crush OD quite much untill i dump him for him.... haha... i don't deserve good guys... yadayada...negative thinker

 

i dun thk he noes that i like him... i don't understand why am i being such way... i'm always in hesistance and reluctance in relationship matters. guess that i don't just look old, i began to feel old and act just like one. Probably i fear rejection... so much to say...too deep... lol.

Found a white hair hanging on the top front portion of my head...gosh...it spreads... how cum my parents's hair genes are so active huh? high expressitivity...habis la.... full white plus,baldness and osteophoresis cuming too....the latter is due caffine addiction...

so, juniors, stop guessing.... i am really still single... no lie k

a fwen, my best fwen... inviting me to go langkawi with her... i noe she wants it so much for all reasons i could possibly think of. But, i rejected her numerous time. Please dont make me do it again... i have my reason for whatever decision i make. i never know how to say no to friends... but if i can be sure to let you noe i cant and i dont wish temporily, i seriously don't want it. So, please stop making me feel so guilty but rejecting you... u noe how much i care for u, but that promise you need of is outta my comfort zone. Yes, i might be giving out stupid reasons and unacceptable self-boundaries, but this is me. don't force me to come out from my shell when i'm yet ready for a change. Not now.... i'm really sorry...probably, i'm just not the one that could be there for you regardless of whatever situation and needs...

the coming 2 majors after the suckest elective paper (perngurusan persatuan) are my favourites. These 2 subjects are the ones that make me feel that i'm not exactly 'TINTO' to choose biology as my course. 1st choice tiam...i could have get a way better appreciatable course and bla bla bla... the story goes on...

insects collections are about to be done.... checking out the names of families made me in awe with the beauty of god's creation... the art of nature... but... the smell of the preservatives was so bad that i could have faint if i were to stay there long... i was blurry for the whole days... i guess i will end up doing LI and thesis on insects as well. Better than facing and 'embracing' da microscope and checkm out DNAs... hate...

 --le fin--