Happie Bday Kheng :)

All has been said & done......

Sayang you deary... 

More friends are falling into the PBB trap....Muahahaha....

Welcome to hell XD

Im Just Kidding... Seriously...

...

I guess I'm losing you.... But in actual fact, You never once mine to begin with 

I love the broken ones

U're too innocent Joanne~ 

 This graphical design describes who Jcdagreat really is...

One perfect picture that truly mirrors the opposite of myself....

Nite y'll. 

***

You lost me once, you lost me forever. 

Bintang RTM Audition

 Sunday, the last RTM audition round for the year. 

 The day started off just nice. Was suffocating with sore throat yesterday, so I get myself a warm honey drink & a hotdog as my breakfast. I somehow sensed my tummy discomfort but I kinda ignored it cuz this tummy thing is a norm for me. I had my medicine, did my self a light make up and I looked just fine.

Half way down the road, my dad wanna had his breakfast at the Plus perhentian. I only took a cup of milo. That was when all the hell break lose. I felt very uncomfortable. I wanna puke but I just try to ignore it, trying well to keep it well. My dad pulak sesat... He never been into that area for a long time, so road changes and he has difficulty getting into the compound. Pusing mia pusing... I found him a perfect road side to stop and I quickly asked him to pull over. The rest I dun think I wanna elaborate. 

What a darn April fool!!!

I thought I got better... So, finally we reached the RTM station. Finally! Upon reaching the guard house, the fellow told us to park near the entrance, and we have to walk up. What!!!! U kidding me?? The second rush of vomit came while I was infront of the guard house. Yor.... Such ugly sight!!!! 

When I truly step into the auditorium, I was partially half dead. I managed myself to the counter, handed over my forms and CD, got my number and rushed to the toilet. Diarrhea gao gao. WTF!!! I knew I had time, 20 over peole b4 me. My mom was like are you okay, issit very bad, perhaps, pull out ba. Let's go see doctor. To be honest, I thought about it. I really almost wanna let it pass. I don't know how this vulnerable body with those vomiting going on can carry an Alicia Key's song. 

I decided to continue. The fuck! I was already inside the building. The moment I stepped out of the toilet, I was asked to lined up to go into the audition room. No turning back! I went in, the room was comfy, the couch was comfy. I just laid my buttock comfortably and rest. 

Many good singer around. Many Malay girls can sing very well. I always know that and now I witnessed it by myself. My turn was just the next girl after me... She sang well. I went up, and introduce myself like the way they wanted me to. I told them I wanna present 2 songs if possible. A reserved Malay song without minus one. Started off shaky cuz i couldn't locate my melody. I believe I recollected myself pretty fast. My voice was in shape, I wasn't feeling nervous which probably cuz all I wanted was to get back to rest. I felt so fragile on stage.

Sang only the first verse until chorus. They stopped me and reminded me of the second song. I sang Keabadian Cinta by Anuar Zain. A hit song by my fav local male artist. I think I did pretty well. They let me sing till I finish the chorus. Infact, I saw positives signals. Even audiences/contestants gave a few claps. I gave them 3 surprises. 1st, perhaps, they don't expect me to tell them I wanted to sing 2 songs. 2nd, they don't expect I knew Keabadian Cinta. 3rd, They might not believe I can sing Malay song that well. What you might not know is I started off singing publicly with Siti's Purnama Merindu .. Malay song is ultimately still my thing alright.... XD

I quickly got down from the stage, grab my belonging and went outside. My parents were beaming with smile :) I knew I did good enough. Unlike Astro, RTM prepared a huge TV at the auditorium hall to facilitate others to witness the progress inside the room. Kim Leng was there even b4 I got in. He was too, ready for it. Pity him that his car broke down in the morning. Luckily, he settled it. No fuss. :)

Initially, he and I shud be each other companion and my parent will go to my aunt house at Damansara. But because of this twist of faith and my bad health condition, my parents stay with me instead. We then went to my aunt house. I didn't manage to see Kim Leng perform. Sigh!!!! Sad....

This fellow named Rusty... so cute.... so lovely.... currently stay with my aunt.

Very adorable... untill he got slightly nasty and begin to 'rape' my leg~ if you noe what I mean LOL!!!!

Before going back to Seremban, we all had lunch at Midvell. Leng & I discussed about the Singapore trip also. Hope it will be a smooth one. Gotta make passport 1st. :P

Million Star Audition!!! Here I come!!! Fail mai you, I jiu can go Bali lor!!!! Or Thailand :)))

<3 

For those who has been following closely about the news of my insane passion driven urge to go thru all auditions available this year, I thank y'll so much for your support and wishes. 

I am Jcdagreat

I am Jcdagreat.... But why it never emerge when I needed it the most?

I'm having a stiff throat... Sore throat...

I will be going to RTM star audition 2morrow at Angkasapuri PRamlee. 

Singing the same ol song~ If I ain't got you cuz I dun have time to practice another song. This time I need to sing with minus one. Which means I need to know all lyrics n flow. 

I tried it out just now, it was bad. Very bad. I cannot hit the notes, a song I could sing.... A song I actually have no problem carrying... 

You see, I didn't go to win, I go to be judged. I hope my voice can recover in time tomorrow, at least let me hit my notes correctly. I can't bear another time of shamefulness in front of professional judges.

It's nice to know that leng2 will be there with me :) Thank you. 

We go there play nia right....U gotta sing your very best even u gotta sing under pressure, sing under sickness, sing even when you almost feel like quitting....

Do your best Jcdagreat. Pls remember u're just beginning to nurture your talent... 

It's okay to be ugly, to be the joke of the show, or the laughing stock being a loser

After all, you will gain sumthg in the end, the experience to fall and resurface. 

U're in fact the true winner!!!

The Last PBB Traning :)

So much to say.... so much more I could have explored.... Not so sure if anybody is listening or even bothered.

I just gotta summarize them before I sleep tonight. Sometimes when the moment is right and you're too occupied to execute it that instant moment, it will lose it's magic. That particular 7 days were simply marvelous. LOL. Vacation-al training... Mr.Teh is seriously dumping lotsa money to invest on young people like us. XD.

Though there are many more pending places n things that I would wanna go and do, I guessed I just gotta be settled with those that I have happily been through & done with many beautiful people who came across my days for that period of time.

 The moment you see I flash a smile like this, you should know that you made me very happy :)

Thanks GT mates... We shall really see who resign 1st kay...

XD

 

I just lost a perfect reason to resign cuz HR decided to not take me into Johor. My boss said he performed the magic once already ... He can't promise to save me another time...

Well, what he didn't know was that I have my whole heart ready to resign once the Segamat transfer came knocking. The moment when he told me the so called good news, I had my lips forcefully curled up. I guess my new plan was disrupted again... 

Anyway, dreams might not come true this year. So, save money go Bali, Thailand, Singapore, and beaches around Mas....or KK.... Suzane Mah is expecting me & the GTmates... LOL!!!!

Nite Y'll :P

Shyte....I have no time to prepare for RTM this weekend .... Defuq!

2nd Attempt, 1st Round of ATQ Audition

Still reluctant to wake up, I woke Siewin up instead XD. 

This is my current habit when I'm with a roomie...

After bath, still being very sleepy, both TMT & Siewin tied me up and started to mold me into something more presentable. True enough, once makeup was done, I looked like I had my sleep debt being paid off 100times - Jcdagreat emerged! 

Kim Ling joined me cuz he missed his Q the day before XD. Faith la partner~ LOL!!!

Siewin was with me all along. She decided not to go Bintang RTM to be with me instead while preparing for her second audition. Lined up much earlier than yesterday and I am the lucky no. 6 of the day. 

Was pretty confident cuz I was singing If I ain't got you by Alicia Keys. A song I can sing blindly and effortlessly~ sorta~ And while trying out with KimLing, it sounded perfect to myself.

Sunday arrangement was better. This time, 2 judgest were duly assigned  in one room and better set up and management was seen. Many familiar faces came back to be judged again. Waiting outside the room was driving me nuts... I just grabbed Leng2 hand cuz I needed strength. I felt weak already. 

I went in and Alex San & another man I knew whom sat comfortably on the couch. I was starstruck for the 2nd time. This time I just sang the shit outta my mouth. The melody I wanted was delivered, but the power I had was merely 70% of what I could have done. Alex asked me to sing a 2nd song. So I offered him Loving You... He wanted Mandarin. So I sang Shang Hen instead. Pitchy... I knew it, Fuck! The judges were discussing while I was singing made me felt confused. So I stopped awhile but he asked me to continue. Finally, I stopped and Alex San talked.

He said:

I kinda like your voice. There is a sweet tone in it ( I was like~ Sweet? Hello~ it's bluesy ba...LOL). But I felt that you keep all your voice inside, they were unable to come out. Have you ever learn singing? (Shaking me head) I see... To make somebody touched when you sing, voice projection is important. If I were to put you through, it will be difficult for you. Music will drawn you. ( I nodded~ purfectly agreed on his statement). :)

I overheard him asking a girl in the room about KIV (Keep in view aka Pending list) but he didn't proceed to that. Another judge asked if I were here yesterday, and I was like yes. I sang Mercy by Duffy and I screwed up. Acknowledging the fact Alex San was there too witnessing the whole shame. LOL

So we thank each other, and I walked out knowing I failed the 2nd time. Though I wish him to take me in and reconsider about it, but I had try to sing my best under pressure. It wasn't perfect, but at least I didn't make a fool out of myself like the day before. Mission accomplished! I just wanna amend my mistake which I thought was an insult to my ego. I walked out with a forceful smile, but I noe it was for the best. I am not ready for it. Head held high you sassy cat~

Went back to Bukit Jalil & took all my stuff back to Bangi. This time Kimling became a faithful driver. Waved goodbye to TMT with heavy heart, Siewin, him & I went to a K room and screamed like mad. Well, exaggerating... like always. Then it was dinner time. A dinner date organized by our Miss Ooi at Old Man Restaurant. It was a very happy date with so many lovable faces with Andrew finally back to Mas, contributing to UKM MAS! LOL. Spread the CB & yellow culture K! Paw 5!!

 It felt so good when I finally let go of my last fist. De-stressing.

Then the natural big smile came upon.

 My loves

Astro lose 2 main talents this year. Ah Fai being one and another darling HooiLing. 

Xpe la... We have another year to go...infact... this year journey is yet to end. Are you with me?

 Thanks Andrew for the dinner. Pls don't act so kind. U're spoiling us! We earn quite a good income too....haha. It's only fair that we treat u back once in awhile :)

I will come back for more rehearsal soon.... Jaga my song yea XDXD NTLP XV :)

 

Has been eating like there's no tomorrow...gained weight non stop wei.... diu

I didn't manage to go to witness my fwen glorious 2nd performance in round two ATQ. Only you know how I wished I could be there for you like you be there for me dear. Tho you didn't get thru just like you wished not to, you're one step ahead of me. Mind you, I will catch up with you very soon :) Lion don't go strike for hunger itself. We're gonna roar together.... XD

Im so proud of you!!! The journey has just begun. 

I see you again in 3 weeks time. 

Till then, :)

I, I love you like a love song baby~

<3

1st Round ATQ Audition

The day that I have been waited for 11 years

Sounds crappy right? Why would anyone wanna wait anything for 11 years?

Maybe somebody else could but for a Leo gal like me, one extra day seems like forever

Imagine waited 11 years for that... Can you feel how desperate I am to score that one chance?

So that was how the humiliation started  > <

 My tune mates :)

Me Amor

 

I reached TimeSq around 8 sumthg on Saturday while they were already there waiting for me. I had a bad feeling about the day since thursday when I was having accommodation problem. Things were pretty messed up and I was having difficulty deciding where to stay, how to go from place to place and many other related stuff. I didn't allocate any free time to really get myself prepared for the so-called big day. Eventually I chose to stay with MeeTeng @Bukit Jalil. Deary TMT :)

Jiayie came to support me :) I love you dear... Look at my shitty bad tired face.... Shud have guessed it wasn't a good sign. 

I thought I have done enough to face for judgment... Self comforting~ Well, I screwed up badly. 

I'm pretty sure it will goes up on TV la...cuz it was freaking bad!

I mistakenly sang the wrong lyric, got freaked out, forgot lyric with I supposed very funny expression on my face, then by the time I wanna hit the chorus, they stopped me indicating 30 sec has gone and they thanked me to shut me up. Fuck! Fuck! I screwed the hell up in front of Yuen Wei Ren!!! 

Guess Mercy wasn't the right song at the wrong time.

Friends said I was put too much pressure on myself, You wanted it too badly to prove...

I was trying so hard to find a corner to hide my thick face & cry the hell out... but I guess my friends wouldn't allow me. They kept me around so I wouldn't be alone... I actually need that period of time-to really delved into the matter, be extremely emo about it, and when I'm ready, I will go seek for comfort.

The fact that my fwens was selected into pending list and I am not, it was harded for me to control myself not to be much bothered by the result which will effect their celebration mood than them needed to control their happiness to make me feel better. Do u get my sentence? Hmm... draggy yet pointless huh? Sigh.

Puiyan & her laughter 

Ah Fai then drove us to Bandroom where he practiced for that night performance at Station One. Met some juniors and spent a quality times with my babe Siewin... Sinux then took over and brought us to Fusion Heven which I demanded. :) Thanks sweetie.

I tried my very best to hide my emoness.... and try to relax as much as possible cuz I noe I needa pia for tomorrow... The thought of going thru the same damn routine really kills me.... but I have no choice. I have no choice!!! If I didn't fix the shit I have done, the rest of the days and the months through the year will be miserable. 

Went back to MeeTeng place with Siewin...

A dreamless night~