The problem about me is that i always either say nothing or i say too much.

Saying partially is not my norm. If you see me doing that then perhaps there is something that i couldnt resist anymore but you are not giving me enough comfort to burst out.

Funny how you used to be that person who manage to let me free flowing confessing all out but now it feels more restrictive.

I guess it is because the topics now include us and not just me.

Im not happy with what happenned this week.
But you were not the first person to know.
I couldnt feel your presence and you were sick too and i dont wish to bring this up the next day.

Bringing wrong topic at the wrong timing is another killer. Im really sad to hear the tone of your voice and how it was reverted to me.
It almost seems like you were not open up for discussion and that what i said was pointless.

End up i just shut down conversation and i woudnt wanna argue further. You have your statement and ill just rest my case.  When a judge said you were wrong and you know it was just hopeless to get your appeal going knowing it is going to further damage the result, you will just give up.

Not admitting defeat. Not agreeing but to just let it go. It wont help or solve the issue but lets just see what it will bring.

What surprises me was the consoling that came right after i thought we both gave up that night.
That was the man i fall for.

A man who wouldnt let me sleep angry.
Knowing i wont be able to sleep.

I know nothing is perfect.
But right at this moment i need a lot of attention and i crave for your assurance.

I felt like im in a long distance relationship.
One that kenot be told and be cherished upon.

Overthinking kills. But if saying this all out made me sound crazy and desperate than i might as well just shut the fuck up.

I felt like i am not asking too much but i felt like im chocking you. I dont want that love.

How do i fix this?
I complicate things but love, you knew i was a chaotic person. Would you always be the one that calms the thunder and silence my fears and insecurities?

I wish i am easy.
I wish i am simple.
I thought i am simple.

Apparently innocents doesnt mean simple.

I know you would try.
But if one day you felt that i do you more harm than love. Please do tell me.

I will be okay.
I rather be in pain than to watch you suffer pain.