Y must everyone attempt to leave me?
I sucks in farewell. There is no fair in farewell.
And when a heart breaks it dont break even.

They often hint that they will leave and they will remind you time to time that they wish to leave.

Today there were already two people told me that you wish to leave. You did not tell me. And that i must know it via another people's mouth.

So this is where i stand now?
I have always been the few last person to know everything cuz i only eavesdrop selectively and i appreciate prioritization that seeks me.
If im the 1st then be it. If im the last then im fine with it too.
Unless that person is someone i truly cares about.

U know that threatening to leave will cost me utmost discomfort. U have always been doing that  last time. Then u changed and never mention it again. Now u tell everyone about it and im the last to know. And i used to be the 1st to know about everything yours. That was where i stand. And it was nothing.

Well.

Maybe it is for the better.
im just not used to it.

When a feeling got involved and entangled, it is difficult for detachment. It takes time.
The time will come.
And i will believe again. To learn how to trust.
To want to have faith again.
In myself. My judgement.
But i am not convinced.
By both ending and beginning.

*

I was nagged by boss for an hour.
This is fun i got to share with my gal.
We both were nagged for an hour. Haha...
Hmmp... upgrading eh? I dont think im looking forward to it.

I know im more than qualify to go higher and climb the hierarchy ladder. I was trained by the best.
He often speaks good of me. But if the opportunity come, will i wish to jump into it? I consider myself pretty strong for a branch officer. Hmmp...
Im getting fat and comfy in my environment now. Esp after my ex manager left.

*

Tomorow is a big day for me.
A huge commitment all by myself.
A dreaded call i wish i never would have compromised.
A deal that could break me or benefit me.
For all the good reason.
A trying time to my ego versus compassion.
Im signing it.
I wish you would be there with me.

Witness and assure me.
It would be alright, right?

*

I know i care of you when i notice every single changes in you.
I know you are important when everything you say matters.

*

Get me out of this maze.