One from the original epoh mali gp pulled out. So left 4 of us.
Cjx is natural in gp gathering.
It was a happie fun trip.
The destination was to Pulau Ketam near port klang, Northern Selangor. I think.
Well... since i was not the driver all i care was to arrive safely and have fun.
L was the driver and he fetched us all from along tampin to s2 and then off we went to the destination.
Its odd when there was this intention of us wanted to have personal time while we were in a group of 4 and we were always together.
And cjx n wilson kept poking fun around us and wilson was testing water as well on both myself n cjx for L. I was wondering what was his intention.
Either way... it was just awkward when there was this unspoken truth between he n I and neither of us wanna reveal it yet to each other, more so to them.
He done the crab and prawn skin removal while we had our lunch sea food feast. Haha. One box is checked.
Im abit fancy of this shy intimate relationship but i hope his sign n intention can be clearer.
I have enough of previous fake flirt relationship. Thus this time around i only seek serious contender.
After the cycling, eating and fish farm visiting, it was time for us to move back to the land.
Instead of going to the famous bak kut teh we went to I city shah alam instead.
Another one box checked.
Promise fulfilled indirectly.
I city is a place i heard pretty and i have yet to explore. But it was just an over view... wilson need to rush back cuz apparently when i reach my door step it was already 10.30pm. Meaning to say the driver need to reach home only by 11.30pm and tomorrow was a working day.
Im glad i hold my tongue and didnt argue to play around.
The whole day of activity i was pretty messed up. I was emotional and i cant shake the recent incidences away.
***
i cant believe it had to happen to me. Between he and i. And against me.
Although facts and truth are on my side and im clearly still a victim in many ways which he didnt feel applicable at all. But why do i still feel unhappy?
Even if im at the right, im not happie wining.
Because i have to mourn a death of a loving relationship we had. You have taken away everything the moment u spit that u wish to end this friendship.
Since i have granted ur wish, im only being sensible in no longer prioritizing u, keep sending well wishes and kindness to you cuz there will be friends who genuinely valued my love needed them.
You dont deserve it at all.
Cuz what you have hurt me that faithful night of 10th jan and a public insult to me when im still angry with u on12 of jan totally blew me off.
You made me hate you.
Someone who offer love n care to you without wishing anything in return.
Someone who do so much in silence for you in your rubbished filled head actually thought that I am capable to hurt you.
So this whole year of time you dont seems to know me at all.
Before you even spit on me does any of the values we have ever crosses your mind?
The only thing i demand is respect.
Our relationship was cheap. You know? Baseless foundation.
We had nothing.
Perhaps all we had was a fake friendship from which we both draw necessary benefit only;
That i was looking for a companion and you were just getting a good PO to assist you in your job. We did well together.
Deal done well. And deal is broken when we both dont need each other anymore. Thats when you can simply demand for an ending to what we had.
Sorry you are not sorry.
And sorry to your idealogy of me being a liar, rude ego and a betrayer. I dont know where it came from outta me of which i believe i never ever would have done it esp to you up to after 10 of jan.
Im sorry to know you cuz now it hurt me so bad.
Its so painful i rather i have never know you at all.
Never confide in you.
Never entrust in you.
Never believe in for you.
Never have love you.
All i have is tears and best of memories.
We cant go back to where we used to.
I hope you find a way in life to change your way of facing problem and anger. Cuz i will not be there for you listening to your dissatisfaction and care of your well being any more. I cant do it any more.
Learn before you push everyone who has ever love you away forever.
I dont deserve your good any way.
Someone will.
Take good care of yourself.
While i learn to love myself better.
:'(
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