Unspoken pressure and madness. If i could tell out how frustrated i am, you know it wasnt so hard to deal with. I managed to swallowed it. But there is this one person i cant escape that make me so wanna die infront of her just to let her know how impossible she is and how painful i am being with her. I always wanna cut and torture myself infront of her just to let her understand that she is driving me insane. I cant tolerate pain thus i let go of the idea. The fact that she often hurt my feeling being intentionally or indirectly i couldnt bring myself to hurt myself even deeper than i already am to the pleasure of this fucked up woman.
I cant help myself thinking the dark side and wanting all the cruel stuff to happen and to keep wishing if i could turn back time.
A lot of thing happen today. But nothing tops wat i always have to endure at home. The aura she exude is toxic and im a polluted kid.

I often think that mylife this lifetime is to repay the sins ive committed last life. I have to be tortured and i gotta feel miserable here. Or that she is actually serving karmas, thing of what she did when she was young. God.... im done. Sad n sad