June: Ups & Downs

June O June.

The beginning of the month was kinda nice.
How nice?

I was really force making a dream come true. This Birthday gig is going to happen one way or another.
Nothing will stop me from making it happen. No matter how much it costs and how difficult it is to get a venue.

So as always, I will seek help & advise from Alvin. He is indeed a good friend. Whenever I need help, he will never say no. He got some suggestion ready & somehow he kinda insist on Brudgee in Seremban 2.
He told me it was a pub and I knew that the pub also offer live gig to its visitor. Since I'm not really a drinking kaki, I've never been there. I heard Ong Wei Kuan is playing there, a ex paulian schoolmate.

So one fine Sunday, I managed to collect 3 of us inclusive Christine to practice. A good start!
Then we proceed to with venue which Alvin suggested.  We reached the pub around 9pm. The boss was around. He questioned my purpose to organize the party since I wasn't 21 yrs old or something similar to celebrate. Well he surely has no idea why I do so.

We asked to survey the venue. A pub ma... so sure there is some unpreventable smoke stink from previous night. But the moment I stepped in, I saw the stage. An almost complete set of instruments inclusive a drum set, mixer 2-3 amps and few mics were on the stage. 
We did what performers naturally do when we saw a stage! We headed to the stage & performed a few of our songs.

I was so nervous cuz it was sometimes back since I last sang on stage. I sang If I Die Young, Sweet Child O Mine, Dreams & I Believe I can fly.
The boss clapped each time we finished a song. I was like, hey we were adjusting to the environment & we're like shit although I sang pretty good XD.

I think we surprised him. We excused ourselves & headed to talk further about the date & time.
I knew I wanna perform there. I can really stay whole night. I asked for the venue to be on Saturday but he insisted No as he has frequent customers on that day. But he did offer Sunday venue for FOC.
I was bewildered. But on Sunday wor. Now I have to make a decision. Hard! I'm always no good especially one with consequences.

He was full of praises I can still recall in detail. He wants us to be one of his live gig performers. The boss doesn't take agent's singers. He somehow was very interested in my voice. I choose to believe his every word.

Sometimes you just require the right timing, opportunity & people to make a thing work. Everything works out right that very night.
It was awesome!

Middle of June: 2 new officers came to my branch. 1 is a mobile officer who has been servicing KL for sometime came back to be stabilized in Seremban. A new colleague. Then, a new Graduate Trainee came as well. I was chosen to be his Mentor. >.< I really don't understand why not another annoying experience colleague and why me?? But I have fun anyway cuz I love teaching. So I have extra 2 pairs of hand to clear up workload. 

Oh anyway, for those who didn't know, I am the head of consumer team since beginning of this year. My boss say that I must learn to manage people.

OK lor.
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The downs: My cousin sis who is just 18 yrs old is suffering from growth in her belly.
Had a surgery and is recuperating. The feeling of possibly losing someone in your life is so disturbing.
It was just last year when it happened, I am not ready to face another one in anytime soon.
Seeing everybody cries broke my heart to million of pieces. It was a risky surgery which cost her half a liver & half a stomach. Still is under doctor's supervision.

My mom had a pap smear done with HPV DNA analysis. The report shows she has HPV gene number 52, a higher risk of HPV virus is within her ovary. I feel like I was thrown to hell, experienced death and brought back to live just to die again. Yea... that kinda feeling. I know her alright. That would troubles me cuz she will be emotionally disturbed. Wow. That stupid gene aint gonna kill her, her stubbornness & depression would.
I can't control someone else's feeling. I can't help anyone if they don't help themselves. Now after some effort I hope those professional advise from doctor could help her sink those info in and that she knows she is ok. Not dying!

Another one incident caused by a stupid pitiful kitten hide in my car engine. Arghhh....
I would just skipped it. I can't manage a word for this matter. 

My branch will relocate to a new building roughly 1KM away. Massive packing & spring cleaning are required every saturday until the very day that we move. I can't imagine how huge the relocation would be in front of everybody's eyes on a busy street in coming July. Chaotic!

I realized the very reason why I was hardworking in my job. It's the only thing at the moment who could provide me security financially and that it's the only thing that I could fully control! As much as I wanted freedom, I have yet to achieve emotional freedom I yearned day and night.

& Since I mati mati  to deliver my job and that everybody say my boss sayang me. We shall see how much bonus the branch will allocate to me. Sayang is total bullshit if you can't translate my hard effort to something I deserve. Nuff said.

-emo-

-always-