The Love Letter

Since the love letter did not get the chance to be published, hence I would like to share it here.

My dad, Michael Chai. 

When I was a baby, everyone in the family thought I looked exactly like my father. The chubby face, the big eyes and practically everything on my face resembled my dad’s.  Growing up, he was always on the move just for the sake of bringing home foods and education to us. But that was the only thing he could do – be there when we need him rather than being there to see what we need. Being overly protective of us makes me feel extremely enclosed. Seriously my parents have the best imagination in the world. Every step away from house is like a suicide attempt! Funny how I wasn’t rebellious at all especially when the wild me was bounded in such way. Perhaps they saw my weakness I don’t see for myself. That was then. Way back then. 

Flipping back to current chapter, I have graduated from a renown university in Malaysia namely UKM (I’m not going to hide it). I found a job totally out of my field of study and I’m now currently financially sound & independent. I might not be able to help him share the burden yet but I’m definitely off as his burden. Just when I thought of that, reality threw me back to the whole parent-daughter situation. My current position requires me to travel up to 200KM distance to places by own transportation. Less than one year of driving experience already made my parents freak out. It’s even harder that the fact that I have to stay alone in foreign places without a companion. My dad being a business man himself has the capability to adjust his time just to complements my needs- well, the needs he thought I need. He would sent me to my new work place on weekly basis or let me drive while he guide me from the passenger seat. 

While in the journey of exploring new places together, he would always brainwash me to indirectly call off the job as life is too precious to be on the road all the time. He has been through this, he thought he had enough and it wasn’t easy. He said he has no choice. Now that he could give me a life with many choices, why do I still commit to this job? He knew he couldn’t command me, so he tries to grumble over it or to talk me over so that the fact makes sense to me. 

Seriously Pa… LOL. No, it's not funny. But... >.<

The guilt accumulates every time he sacrifices his time just to make sure I safely arrive to my destination.  I appreciate the effort that he’s learning to unleash me & my freedom but at the same time, I would let him take control of certain situations especially in something that I have less experience in. I’m making it a win-win situation for me and my dad. My superior doesn’t get me. My colleagues are jealous of me. My friends thought I am weak- well certain maybe. I am fragile. I’m not the healthiest girl nor did the most determine one of all. But I know I’m pushing hard. It’s only wise to move forward in the stage of life with the support of family & always allow them to see you grow. 

 

My dad needs to be grateful that I’m the most obedient child with very thoughtful brain to complement it. I had utmost respect to my dad of his loving nature & his capability of a man to take care of his family. It might not be the righteous way all the time. But every action taken speaks a volume of love and strength. Many people don’t know this. I’m not sure if my mom knows it. My dad & I always sing duet in the car, singing along to CDs especially those old-times love songs.  I think my parents fell in love through music and he sings good melody too. Now I know where those genes came from. We would randomly talk about politics, the latest news of when & where of the crimes & all sorts. The travel times become our chatting period. The elder I get, the more topics we could share and have in common.

I wish to get this opportunity to wish my dad, a Happy Father’s day. Although my love to my mom is much expressive, it doesn’t mean I love you any less. 

P/s just for the extra information, I look more like my mom now but I have 80% character-match with my dad. 

Your Daughter

Joanne Chai