Since the love letter did not get the chance to be published, hence I would like to share it here.
My dad, Michael Chai.
When I was
a baby, everyone in the family thought I looked exactly like my father. The
chubby face, the big eyes and practically everything on my face resembled my
dad’s. Growing up, he was always on the
move just for the sake of bringing home foods and education to us. But that was
the only thing he could do – be there when we need him rather than being there
to see what we need. Being overly protective of us makes me feel extremely
enclosed. Seriously my parents have the best imagination in the world. Every
step away from house is like a suicide attempt! Funny how I wasn’t rebellious
at all especially when the wild me was bounded in such way. Perhaps they saw my
weakness I don’t see for myself. That was then. Way back then.
Flipping
back to current chapter, I have graduated from a renown university in Malaysia namely
UKM (I’m not going to hide it). I found a job totally out of my field of study
and I’m now currently financially sound & independent. I might not be able
to help him share the burden yet but I’m definitely off as his burden. Just
when I thought of that, reality threw me back to the whole parent-daughter
situation. My current position requires me to travel up to 200KM distance to
places by own transportation. Less than one year of driving experience already
made my parents freak out. It’s even harder that the fact that I have to stay
alone in foreign places without a companion. My dad being a business man
himself has the capability to adjust his time just to complements my needs-
well, the needs he thought I need. He would sent me to my new work place on
weekly basis or let me drive while he guide me from the passenger seat.
While in
the journey of exploring new places together, he would always brainwash me to
indirectly call off the job as life is too precious to be on the road all the
time. He has been through this, he thought he had enough and it wasn’t easy. He
said he has no choice. Now that he could give me a life with many choices, why
do I still commit to this job? He knew he couldn’t command me, so he tries to
grumble over it or to talk me over so that the fact makes sense to me.
Seriously Pa… LOL. No, it's not funny. But... >.<
The guilt accumulates every time he sacrifices his time just
to make sure I safely arrive to my destination.
I appreciate the effort that he’s learning to unleash me & my
freedom but at the same time, I would let him take control of certain
situations especially in something that I have less experience in. I’m making
it a win-win situation for me and my dad. My superior doesn’t get me. My
colleagues are jealous of me. My friends thought I am weak- well certain maybe.
I am fragile. I’m not the healthiest girl nor did the most determine one of
all. But I know I’m pushing hard. It’s only wise to move forward in the stage
of life with the support of family & always allow them to see you grow.
My dad
needs to be grateful that I’m the most obedient child with very thoughtful
brain to complement it. I had utmost respect to my dad of his loving nature
& his capability of a man to take care of his family. It might not be the
righteous way all the time. But every action taken speaks a volume of love and
strength. Many people don’t know this. I’m not sure if my mom knows it. My dad
& I always sing duet in the car, singing along to CDs especially those
old-times love songs. I think my parents
fell in love through music and he sings good melody too. Now I know where those
genes came from. We would randomly talk about politics, the latest news of when
& where of the crimes & all sorts. The travel times become our chatting
period. The elder I get, the more topics we could share and have in common.
I wish to get this opportunity to wish my dad,
a Happy Father’s day. Although my love to my mom is much expressive, it doesn’t
mean I love you any less.
P/s just
for the extra information, I look more like my mom now but I have 80%
character-match with my dad.
Your Daughter
Joanne Chai
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