i'm feeling kinda lost...
i really wanted to perform my very best... somehow... i will still lost focus n cannot deliver the dance well... i will still be able to screw up in some lil parts here and there... am i not hardworking enough? or am i not strong enough mentally and physically? it seems that i got very tired and blur easily....the other few gals who dance 6 pieces managed to control their energy and keep it going. or am i simply not good enough?
it seems like tchers enjoy to catch my mistakes...lol. some say they focus alot on me due to senior status.... cuz not possible i am the only one who make mistake...is it because im one of the front runner so there is no forgiveness in making mistakes? aduh...they just love calling my name... JOANNE!!! then i'll be like huh.... yaya, i noe...sorry.... aduh... i knew i made mistakes... but i still make it. arghhhh.... i really hate myself! but, at least i noe what i did wrong to better myself... having their attention also means that i am one of the most watched. wondering if it's due to my capabilities or incapability....haha
feel so bad n sorry for the tchers for having me in da dance troupe. i just dont seems to meet the expectation.... which i seriously think i can.
now my only way to contribute to the memorable nite is to stay very focus and enjoy da dance. tenseness and losing focus are the 2 things that make me much more outstanding n prone to mistakes. they gotta go....
this challenge, tho harsh and kinda painful to go thru but no denial it's da best thing i ever been through thus far. satisfying and it worth all the sacrificial i made.
hmmm, gotta put everything esp the insects collection aside.... aisey. cham!!! not even half of the amount....
Don't it's good or not. Just do your best! You can make it! ^^
ReplyDeleteI believe you can..I think you did quite well already..Give out your best on that day and you will feel satisfied..Let us gambateh together!! Jia You!!..^_^
ReplyDeletelol.... at last a successful nite
ReplyDelete