Dream Trial Part 1

Oh well, I would really wanna crap the whole thing out but the medicine might kick in fast and I might end up middle of somewhere...So, it's wise to part them up which at least it wouldn't be too lengthy to those haters who read.

1st day to SG. Packed all stuffs, medicines & passport. My thoughtful fwens are lovely enough to buy the bus ticket which will stop at Seremban's terminal and he bought my ticket too. :) 

Can't do much in bus as everybody was so busy catching some sleep. 3 hours plus and we were at Johor Larkin. There we had lunch and continue to our SG trip. Long bus journey...

Reach our budgeted stay at a backpacker hotel. Was glad it was comfortable enough with satisfactory cleanliness. Most importantly the loo must be acceptable which it scored 7/10. 

After a sweaty walk, we took a bath and had ourselves a short nap. Then we lepak at Bugis junction and had our dinner nearby. A duck meal. Not bad seriously. 

The night didn't last long cuz we were expecting a bloody long day for the audition 2morrow. It seemed everyone came unprepared with songs selection, what's more practices. I on the other hand stubbornly stick with Mercy as my selection. Stubborn! 

Part of me was worry of the audition day, the other half was anticipating. I seriously wanna get it done with fast so I could have more time to play on the next day. 

Somehow, confidence wasn't really there... the week start off rough with sickness and period came visiting on time which really sucks. 

LOL. Trust me, all these bothers. Lame reasons but they did exudes unnecessary burdens. 

To be continue..... 

**Sigh, I really wish I could have extra hours per day just solely for myself. 

& the fuck, I scratched my babe Myvi... The left side are now patterned with long horizontal lines arranged finely on the backseat door....FUCK! 

Heading to the Lion City 2morrow....

I hope I can sing my best 

That's it. So, recover in time dear voice ....

Ur nose may betray you, you throat may betray you too

But your passion will not. 

Let me Jcdagreat emerge...

She knows how to handle it....  :)

Praise By The Man

After a short briefing with BM and all credit officers, my BM asked me to go into the conference room again. Got me seated across the long table... I was like, appraisal time? No!

HR called me again. 

So fast?

Yea, I told you from the beginning. But this time, they are not gonna based you in branch, they gonna make you an MCO. I asked them to let you start on the 2nd of May. 

(Nodding my head)

I know you worked very hard. I see you as someone that could be developed. I don't normally teach so many trainee or let them come to the meeting/briefing. Here there's no vacancy.

I understand.

But who knows in the future, if there's a possibility to take you in. 

(Then he begin to tell example of how this senior was trained in Srban, became mco, then parachuted back to Srban) 

But I cannot tell, I have to be fair based on the branch needs. 

So get yourself prepared. 

:)

I don't know how many time has he been telling this to trainees, but I chose to believe him. I took credit on what I did and I'm glad he saw that.

Well, my hard works were meant for genuine purposes. But he having the heart to acknowledge a trainee who isn't the branch staff touches me. 

He is a winning BM who has vast experiences. A talk with him makes your knowledge an inch thicker. I would really wanna based in Sban branch. At least, I'm already close with the seniors and I'm warming up to them already. Sad lor...

But hell yea.... Being an MCO meaning more millage claims, more freedom, less bounded by branch, 50% workload off my shoulder especially those tedious jobs. But the only requirement is to be able to travel to the assigned branches daily. Pros n cons la...

I can learn more roads by being an MCO but my directive instinct sucks. I actually loved being owned. A sense of belonging to someone. You know what I mean.

I was trained to be vulnerable. So it will takes sometime to readjust myself back to my origin - a Leo.

But if so happen my dream came true in the middle of my mco journey, then I have a perfect reason to resign. I can always fall back to the reason of being vulnerable- can't accept the challenge of being a mobile officer...

Then at least, I don't have to disappoint my boss n seniors in front of them while serving my one month notice...

LOL.

Think of it, It's a perfect thing that could happen at this very uncertain time of mine. 

As luck always come as a special guest. You don't see it coming, but it bounds right up to you and you don't even know its existence.

A twist of faith might not be bad after all.

:) 

Internal battle External battle Physical battle.....

Im so exhausted!!! Baffled!!

& I'm so sick.... I will guai guai sleep b4 11pm tonight... pls let me recover...

Finally...

My own passport... wasn't a smooth ride but anyhow, I'm done with it. Now I can legally cross borders....

LOL

Was looking fine until the stupid arranger want me to keep my hair up so that it wouldn't cover my face > <

38 lo.... So I did... well, all my pictures which are 'legally' acknowledged by the gov n my company, the official pictures so-called are all down right ugly. So, adding this in, I have a total of 3 pictures I never wanna disclose. My Ic, My PBB ID, and now my passport too.  

Huh!

Overspent la this month.... I just shopped for some beauty products...lol...so ironic... Trust me purchasing one of the items below will take me forever to considerate... Guardian ada sales... And I thought about it for sometimes....to spend or not to spend. It has been long since I last made a decision this fast. 

Time ticking honey.... I guess it's no longer my wallet who has got the say. Now my skin and my face and every inch of my body are screaming for some attention. 

Okay lo...lavishly spend RM100 for those stuff. In comparison to many girls out there.... mine are considered nothing... but....sakit hati neh.... this month eat apa.... needa spend in SG summore....

GG liao XD

1st destination. Singapore! The next half of the year will either be Bali or Thailand :)

It's time to spend....

Lonely Friday

I don't know why everyone need to party on the Friday...

The over empowering TGIF is the norm for many youngster like me... :) Well.... but not really applicable to me at all. Maybe it's the fact that I don't get a date often on Friday or Everyday but even if I do, I'll be reluctant to go out. Only those very close or exceptional case like important gathering, then I will go. 

After a whole long week of being a slave for money, what I really need is total silence and a peace of mind. I wanna really enjoy a night being alone, not talking to anyone, facing my lappy, blogging or stuff like that. I need more time of my own. Per day, the time I own for myself is roughly after 10.30pm onwards which explains why most of the time I sleep late. Cuz I simply needed more hours before they all go wasted as sleeping hours, which I regretted in the morning cuz it was that time I realize my body cannot take much sleep debt anymore. 

So, friday will be the night I comfortably lock myself in room. Then only I will have the drive to go out in the weekends. :) My Sg trip is getting nearer... I'm so excited. I'm scoring two desire in one trip this coming friday. So finger crossed that that Friday the 13-th is gonna be a day of mercy. Be good to me. 

Coursemates...huhu.... I miss u guys so much.... still lacking 7 girls n 1 boy ....

Working in bank sucks. Well.... most of the time. The sign to resign is always in my head. The day is adventurous cuz you keep learning everything new, meeting new characters...

I don't think I love coping with pressure.... I'm so intensed I feel dizzy all the time. Face computer too long I guess...Or was it the food poisoning aftermath... I still diarrhea every morning since the eventful last Sunday. Pathetic huh?! 

But a senior message me tonight. He told me someone praised my work credibility. He didn't disclose whom but from the way he indicate, could be my boss la. Of cuz la... super rajin leh...

No, it isn't because I love my job. It was my impatient that makes me wanna do things fast. It was my ego that draws me to learn things faster. It was my nerve that got me alert on every single order given so that I don't miss out anything. 

Due this month end, I shall be appraised & confirmed, which also means I will receive cash incentive~ bonus like which also means I will be bound by the new rules where resignation will required one month notice.... diu lo.... Wat... the next thing you noe I might got stuck in the bank for the coming ten years... WTF. 

Hell to the NO!

Hey I bitch talking to myself...literary... it sounds nauty.... HAHAHAHA..... LOL.

 My Deandre is out from the competition. Well. Idol sucks without him K.... I hope he score a record deal. With just one great song, he will definitely be on top. Who needs Idol when you're that special. 

Lame huh.... Let me...

He has so many great moments in Idol...sigh. Too bad JLo couldn't save him :'( 

Anyway, going to make my passport 2morrow :)

Wee.... But I ain't looking real fine lately.... 

Hmm.... Sleep ba jiu...

 

U Know U're a Jerk To Me When....

1. Ur English level is super bad. Those who acknowledge it, u're fine. You know u're improving. Those who has no heart to improve on it then you know how awful you are. Being with an ego shit banana is already bad. The fact that I mold myself to better suit the community, still there are worst English crapper out there. 

Sometimes I truly fed up with people who don't get me at all. Then I started to query whether it was their understanding problem, their lack of language proficiency problem or it was my problem after all. I'm so done with these self-conscious thing. I don't like the blame to come back to me. It bothers me too much and it's only right that I don't communicate with you at all. Cuz u're indirectly hurting my self esteem.

2. U're making these shitty lame cold jokes to make me laugh. It wasn't funny. I can't force a chuckle. It was pathetic. Some try to do pranks. Like joking all around, trying to fool me over. If u're a lil charming angel, you might get away with it. Don't ever try when I'm in bad mood. The only time when a girl like being tease by a guy is when the girl crush on that guy. The rest of the time except for that particular reason, you're just being annoying. Trust me....don't try so hard to be funny. 

3. I came across this super fans of Malaysian great Idols. There was one day when I post a stupid link, and I scream out loud the word FUCK in bold on my FB wall. So happen this fellow came across and then pop up to my chat box. Below was the conversation of him & I

Jerk: Would u mind if i ask u about copulation? have you?

Me: errrr.....its out of my comfort zone, sorry not interested in such topic

Jerk: ok, duly noted. sorry for asking as I'm surprised that young girls love to use the fxxxing & WTF 

in many of their expressions which made we wonder whether they're involved in this area.

 Perhaps my imagination have gone haywire.

Me: na.... u're just old fashioned (WTF)

Jerk: Thanks for notifying me as I may have misunderstood

Me: we use such words doesnt mean we got involve in it in any sense

Jerk: girls are different in this 21st century

Me: but u asking such things makes me doubt ur intention (WTF)

Jerk: yeah, i've too given u the wrong impression by asking you that. 

sorry for my misdemeanour

will not ask u such question again

WTF like seriously....U thk I bothered if you ever ask again? I known U're a grown man. U be smart la hello.... Such question you can go ask some whores la... I just snapped and I close the conversation controlling my madness. 

I know my face don't match my attitude. In fact, my attitude don't match my character. 

I seriously wanna delete him directly. I sensed an alarming danger even if that was purely an innocent mistake on the choice of question. 

U're dealing with a Bitch like me, you better be smart. 

Fuck yea!!!!! 

4. The last jerk on my latest list are those I crushed on. You bloody think you can ride on me making me weak n vulnerable... Testing me in silence, leaving me cold for sometimes and then come back luring me.... possibly imagining how hyper happy I am beaming with the glory smile that you're looking for me finally....

FuCK!!! The fuck!!! 

If you feel something while reading this, then you know you're testing me this way and you too crushed on me. If you don't, pls go celebrate cuz u are confirmed in your safe zone.

Pls try not to understand me by judging. Understand me by knowing me...

Just please don't be stupid

Don't be a jerk to me. It's easy.... like reading the ABC

Im So JERK Drunk tonight WTF!!! 

SICK with my day, SICK in the night as well.... but the hell, I'm letting lose all tension on my personal blog.... Now I can sleep freely with all those bared off my chest.