Dear love.

Seeing you so broken and distance breaks my heart.
I wish i could hug you and and let you release all your pain and if it comforts you.
But i dont know how.
I can see that you are fighting back tears and emotion. You are trying to assure everyone that you are okay and is trying to at least.

I dont know if my presence is more of a pressure or comfort. Worst still if my presence or textes annoys you for now.

Still I wish to be with you right now. I dont mind the hospital accomodation. I might not like it. I might be afraid but im willing so long i can standby for you. We can be in total silence or we could just talk random things. I could listen to you all day. U knew it.

I know im nobody. That makes it harder for me to request being by your side and for you to want to accept my offer now.

Gosh... fuck positions. It didnt come across my mind at all. All I know is that you matter now and i wish to deliver any effort at all for you and your beloved.

This has never happen before. This raw emotion and heartache i felt seeing someone so despair.
Wanting so much to take your place and trade negotiable worth to free your sadness. I wish i could somehow lift your sorrow and i wish all these were just nightmares.

I wish we can undo things.

I wish we could choose things.

I wish you could forever be happy and carefree.

I never love someone enough to want all the very best for him even if it takes all of me to grant him his dreams.

Dear you.
It has been unfair to have you deal with this sudden critical adjustment.
I hope you can allow me to be there for you.
Knowing that i will let go everything now just to go through this with you.
I knew i have a special place in your priority.
Promise to tell me. Anything at all.
Anytime you want it.

I just want you to be okay. To eat and sleep.
You need energy and an alert composure to make decision, to monitor and to fully take care of your mama.
The more i ask the more it gets on your nerve.
I might not be the right person or speak the most correct words at the right time.
But it kills me to see you so fragile.

Let me be part of the assistant.
I have cried so much these 2 days for a woman who i have never met (until today) but heard a lot since the day i know her son. All from her son's compliments about her cooking, her well being, his effort raising the family and her grace.
Knowing the bitter truth that he could have lost her forever and how it could affect him.

Aunty aka Mrs Koo
You dont know me yet.
Im your son's bully.
One that always causes him bad late sleeps.
Sometimes got him thinking hard too.
I wish you could get to know me.
Scolding your son on his slow progress in courtship.
I wish you can see the man he is becoming.
Watch him do great things.
A good man whom you raised and be proud of.

Dear Aunt.
Do know that youre so loved by family.
Dont just give up without a even trying.

Silly things i did for love.

I came across 1 doctor and 1 nurse.
Because i wanna ask and help and ask too many questions, the next reply from them would be who are you to the family?

You know what i answered?

Im the daughter in law.
Im the gf.

The sudden glee moment to even tell it outloud. It was necessary to use the position. Cuz hospital apply Pdpa setting too. So i lied. It was almost a privilege.

But i guess what we have will be further prolonged.
This incident got me even clearer on things.
I guess it will be hard for someone else to challenge your position.

If this can be exchanged to your mama recovery.
Im willing to wait forever.

Dear Love.

Please be well.
Sleep and eat good cuz u need the energy.

I promise to take care of myself cuz i cant fall sick during my standby mode.

Im just a text away.

Dont push me away please.

Do know that i am here waiting for your request.

I miss us already.