Farewell

Being indecisive is torturing. I think by now most friends already know this and its quite disturbing especially when i was called to make a decision. And so i did learned a lesson. I can't be given too many choices. If i ever needed to choose when im again thrown to such position, i shall either have the capacity to choose both or to choose neither. Thats quite fair right. And if there must be a decision which can only influence my own benefit, i must make an abrupt call. A solid, rush call.

2 months ago i have decided to materialize my bday party which i have been deciding for a year. 

Today i have made a decision to cut my long hair which the idea has been lurking in my mind for many many years. The last time i had a short hair was few years ago. Year 1 in university i guess. The last time i had an urge to cut it short, i end up curling it. The decision turned out hawt!! The best hairdo i ever had!

Right after the party i knew i wanted to do it. But i was again got myself busy with all other reason godknowswhy. I had 1 week break and i utilize half day for continuous 3 days for my job. Yes, i have no life and im obsessed with my job. Fml. 

I told my bff yesterday and as expected, she dont buy it and challenged me. Just like i wanted her to. U see,  a little push works a long way. Sadly, due to unforeseen circumstances i have to make it work only on Sunday which is tomorrow. 

I will only let one gal saloonist touch my hair. She kinda pecat her boss and venture into her own business and relocate to Senawang. Gosh. Why must she do this when i finally, FINALLY decided to cut my hair? Do u have any idea how difficult was it for me to make that courageous move at all? Do u even noe how fickle minded i am that i could easily call it off.

And so, i guess i will have a whole night to be emotional about my hair, to bid that bitch farewell. 

It has been lovely and pretty for the year. It makes me very womanly and it has been with me all thru the years when i had the best time with my baby, when i lose my baby, and during my bday party,the best day of my life. 

It was only hair, i know. It will grow for goodness sake. I bet it will even be healthier. Oh well. I found bidding goodbye is my worst weakness. It was very dear to my heart. 

There u go, new image, new phase, new motivation and new attitude. 

Its only for the better right. Changes is good. Cuz my constance was bad. Will u support me?

The only thing i need now is to fall in love towards a new attention. Everyone around me say my life revolve only about work and gf. One of them already blame me saying that she is also still single cuz i was so preoccupied with her. Lol. Bullshit babe. Ur singlehood was amazing cuz of me. Pls dun leave me alone! Pls pls pls cuz i love u more than any guy would.

I am pretty simple myself. Im easily contended at times. Its only when the simplest thing gone hard and uncontrollable that i started to choose to aim impossible dreams. So that i will have an aim. So that i have something to hold on to. So that life has a meaning. Am i making any sense here? 

Haha... most of my fwens only really get 50% input when i talk. I guess thats also why i love blogging cuz i kinda allow time for whoever interested to read me get me. 

Im blogging with my note 3! Wtf. Note 3 is the coolest and smartest thing come by after my crushes. XD.

My 1st crush and i had a lovely photo on my party. It gets too much of attention. It wasnt the best look on both of us but it was lovely. It was funny cuz i need to insist to assure that we are so over with the past jokes. But my affection towards him is undeniable and 1st cut was always the deepest isnt it? 

It was an unreturned puppy love but those were all good memories. I genuinely wish he find the love of his life soon cuz a good guy like him deserve either me or someone slightly better. :)

This week alone i had some quality time with deserving fwens. Joanne Wong specifically. That very night of the party i have 3 joannes under 1 roof. How cool was that?! All of them somehow keep assuring that i was loved and blessed. I guess conducting a bday party for myself out of the blue kinda weird and it suggest sumthing negative?!. The post party aftermath was terrible i tell you. Goodness it sucks! I should be out there at the beach. 

Ah... anyway. Today is hungry ghost festival. When im emotional, i dont fear them. They will surely be ripped apart by my frustration. Haha... now i hope they cant read this. I wonder if my baby will return as hungry ghost? I hope not right? A kind soul like him shouldnt suffer this in afterlife. But he couldnt eat much before he died. :'( My family have a habit to pray for safety sake. I kinda collect myself well to ask mom if i need to prepare dog food? That question is like a stab in the heart. Her reply was worst. She said no need cuz if he is around he can also eat the food which was intended for hungry ghost. Sigh. Sorry cuz i wont be able to recover. I can only get better.

and better i am. 

-joanne-