Received 2 bad news this weekend. :(
2 besties broke up with their respective bfs. Saw them heartbroken makes mine broke as well.
2 besties broke up with their respective bfs. Saw them heartbroken makes mine broke as well.
My confident level in relationship hit pitch bottom after the Chan's incident. Now having seen these two fresh cases made me realized being a sole rider is not so bad after all.
Cuz I could be losing the hope to even find the right soul mate. I've lost faith & trust. I seriously feel that I could end up being gay. hahaha... The alpha female~
I thought they were going strong & were displaying perfect couple image... I thought wrong? Or are the guys not stepping up to the relationship?
I'm not gonna dwell into their relationship. But it affects me knowing my besties are hurt by such foreign matter I barely understand.
I count myself lucky not to fall into the the wrong relationship just because I wanna escape from loneliness. A list of perfect wanting & a strong foundation of naturally built sensibility saved me from a false hope. Also not to forget some good advise from some fwens I found comfort in.
However, the mind is week & when the heart lusts & desires for affection, the principle of survival from heartache might not work. Even though the mind doubted the sincerity, the heart says give it a try. I guess in my case the head rules, assisted by my pride & dreams.
While I was calming a fwen the other day, I gathered my thought on my wanting. She questioned me about my wanting in a boy & I told her & I knew it was the truth.
I wish my other half was the entire complementary portion of me.
He is gotta covers my indecisiveness which means I don't mind to let him lead me on where to go, where to eat, be the boss on matters I don't mind given up on.
He is gotta covers my laziness & unwillingness to complete myself with complicated skills.
He is the computer master, geeky enough to help me solve all technology matters, read all the electrical devises' catalog, lead me & guide me in life, teach me subjects I rather hear u sing about it than to read all them in Wikipedia myself. Be my savior.
In fact he is gotta be my google search & my Edward. To be able to read me & know me.
He must be a good person. A huge subject to explore on... too subjective.
Down right simple. I could really love a good person regardless of how he looks. But the definition of good is huge. He has gotta be Sami, Nabi Muhhamad & Jesus to really win my heart had he not been good looking at all.
Of course brilliant, talented bunch of males exude charms & charm is one thing I truly look for in a guy for a good 1st impression. Like beauty to a guy. Having wanting all above mentioned and more, declining options & not accepting chances, I risked seeking none. I'm not a damngodprettywoman to begin with. I'm so flawed, I think I deserved none of what I wanted.
Extreme ego is a direct measure of the level of insecurity towards a person. I am a walking breathing example of such person. Perfect illusion to safeguard a weak figure.
See. It's that simple. A perfect wanting list to keep my dear heart protected.
I will surrender my dignity, pride & beyond for the right person. Be ruled & Be little. But for that, I will risked being vulnerably exposed. I'm saying that if I were to be hurt so bad at my age, I think I would have a difficult time to get healed. Forgive me for being very stingy in sharing my kindness.
LOL
A lot of boys perhaps don't understand cuz those that are lack of experience being just broken a few relationships wouldn't know why certain gals behave the way they were.
Gals insecurities are parallel with the relationship's intimacy. Gals like it when the partner could tell her emotion & needs by not speaking about it. Cuz the moment they do, they are ready for an argument or a fight. Worst is when they give up.
Perhaps like many boys out there, you will say how on earth boys could guess the dramas in a gal's head.
It's a testimonial.
It's either you're willing to learn or not cuz 90% women on earth are like this. The gal didn't ask you to understand her. She wants you to observe her. If you could just put a little effort, you could easily saved ur ass from spitfire. This could be the real difference between like & love. I truly believe that 'when a man loves a woman', man will be most willing to learn her woman like the way he could tell from A-Z about his favourite soccer team (pls check out the song lyric sang by Michale Boltan which speaks nothing but truth)
It's either you're willing to learn or not cuz 90% women on earth are like this. The gal didn't ask you to understand her. She wants you to observe her. If you could just put a little effort, you could easily saved ur ass from spitfire. This could be the real difference between like & love. I truly believe that 'when a man loves a woman', man will be most willing to learn her woman like the way he could tell from A-Z about his favourite soccer team (pls check out the song lyric sang by Michale Boltan which speaks nothing but truth)
Anyway, I was kept reminded that I am already 25. I often have the idea I could perhaps or better just live till 50 yrs old. I'm already half way there. I better start chasing~ accomplishments. XD
Since a very young age ago, I have set my marriage age to 27 or 28. I don't know why I did it. But 28 is my new 25. So there's no rush for a serious relationship. Really? I think so...
I just want my gals to be happy.
Whoever there, please be kind okay.
Remember that you have mother, sister and future daughter.
You mess around, karma will have that noted & find its way for a payback.
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