Gosh...one whole week of pia-ing. 

Well, almost. I was doing a lot of reading but im not sure how many percent of the knowledge really goes into my head. At least i knew briefly about the subjects i was studying this semester. Dammit... i could have score full marks in my quizzes in genetic quantitative. Wasted. This week, like normal, days at home are comfortably intense. 

I got to know the lecturer who i am supposed to do Thesis with is going to send me to another lecturer to do molecular or genetic in insects. I heard my Vespidae is snatched from me. I called my friend to confirm and she said i might still be still doing Vespidae but under different lecturer who did not dare to take me in when i first approached her because i am from different major.

She is a wonderful woman but the fact that she has declined me, i feel like she has no guts.... if this is the fact, then i might all the time stuck in lab and not much fieldwork... dammit. I just cannot run away from genetic. In a way, it could be good. At least, i can apply all my genetic learning into my Thesis despite choosing insects over plants and animals. I was worry as i was at home and I won’t meet the lecturer until another week.

Then a friend of mine nudges me in MSN and told me that he has lost all his notes for Ecology Terrestrial and he asked if i could send all the notes to him. I was like... y are you always acting like this? Do you noe how many were there and how difficult it was to send those over-capacity ones thru mail? I nagged him- u noe the sister instinct... and he back fired me and he really did cross my line. 

He was like, you are no god, don’t always think you know everything... when the HELL did i said that? 1stly i was really not in good mood. 2ndly, why must you ask from me when you are just a click away from going to SPIN and get all the lost notes there... 3rdly, you did not tell me you formatted your laptop in the 1^st place. I have very low faith in believing guys in whatever reason they give to cover their weakness and boy, these are the guys i met. 

This is not your first few time asking these favours you see. It’s not that i don’t willing to help you. But when you are asking too much and too frequently (just like last time if you ever remember and noticed that i was drawing away from you) i started to value myself if i was doing the right thing or that i was being used.

The reason i said you are a changed man is because i saw you pulling yourself together and i don’t see you asking much favour anymore. Instead you aided me when i needed a MAN most especially during lab times. Now i wonder if all these while you did not ask for my favour, were you asking somebody else? Secretly i adore you again. But your request that day reminded me of those moments and my angst controlled my head. Instead of explaining much, you turned your back on me and decline my offer or rather taking back your request as though i am incapable of doing you this favour. 

You are making me guilty and you wanna make me the bad one. That was what my brother always did. He makes me feel like i am the worst sister...and i started to believe i am when i already gave up in teaching him the right attitude. So, in your case, i guess im the worst friend you ever met cuz i never make it easy for you when you needed my help. 

For this i apologise but i am not sorry for wanting you to be more of a reliable friend, rather than you getting the right person to seek upon when problems come. i wish you could be the one people depend onto. Well, as you say i don’t noe you. I don’t understand you, i can never judge you. I am a no body to you. One last thing, if you will ever decline my offer towards your request just because i nag or that i question you much rather than helping right away, 

DO NOT SEEK MY HELP IN THE FIRSTPLACE. 

The last thing i need is another jerk acting like my brother in my face. TYVM!!!

This sort of argument shouldn’t have existed. I could have just told him to get on spin and that was the end of story. I always have problem in such matter. The right way VS the nice way. ANYWAY, i hate argument. Once started, it might be the end of all. So please dun heat it up.

Gosh, i cant get my eyes off television. I thought i was overly addicted with Facebook. How wrong i was.... TV is GOD.... awh.... ASTRO to be precise. Haha...

I was thinking of writing down the list of ex-crush down and rating them the other day... exposing them wo.... hmm. Should i or shouldn’t i...  after the fourth paper perhaps. =)