Jcdagreat

Welcome Back Kheng

2012-02-12T07:33:00.000-08:00

This skinny lil thing is one of my fav girl in our bio geng...

The one that truly been thru Thesis hell with me...

Remember the crazy nights we spent around Kajang and Bangi seeking for food, then came back hostel pia our stupid writing... U about flies, me about wasps... freak loving memories...

How imperfectly perfect those days....

Im glad u quit your job at Johor...Dun like my friends being so far from me... I had so many in Penang, so many in KL, so many in else where but not quite few with me in Seremban... :(

This Valentine...Hmm. I prepared the worst already. This bloody seductive mouth is ain't making confession anytime soon. So, Imma gonna find a way to wash away the misery of being happily single for another V-day.

LOL

Actually I am not looking for any commitment...like seriously > < anybody could do. I just want to feel loved n special. I don't want a relationship... I just need some buzz... I don't wanna feel so alone. I don't know if you could understand me...You can't love someone else until you know how to love yourself right. I hold that phrase to dear heart cuz it speaks to me.

I love my friends, more than myself. So in any sense in the world, V-day is for them, for now....

At the end of the day, What Doesn't Kill You Make You Stronger XD

Thanks Ms. Kelly, you sang my heartfelt... every single song of yours :)

2012-02-07T08:29:00.000-08:00

Hmm

I don't wanna lose interest in you, will I?

Not yet :)

Have a wonderful trip to Bali, NewTuners :) Safe trip there, safe trip back okay?

-<3-

Chap Goh Mei

2012-02-06T08:59:00.000-08:00

Ok, I postponed it again. I didn't throw any oranges... LOL. Seriously, there must be other way to score someone. This is cheap and definitely not environment-friendly. Pls don't pollute the river. All this citrus will disturb the water pH and it's definitely not a good thing to the ecosystem. Macam la still biologist kan...

Biarlah... =(

Was at the mall at noon. Fixed my eyes on so many bloody expensive items. I had my middle finger worn a diamond ring... HAHA... super small diamond, but love that design. RM168- Cheapest of the lot...

Dang! I didn't know what I was doing but I did it anyway.

I know just what to do on Valentine's Day :)

My mom will be the first to worry. Well, she was the one who brainwashed me about not getting engage in a relationship in young age... a few years from now, she will definitely keep quite about that. LOL.

I don't wanna stay at home tonite. So I got my girls and we went for a drink at station1. I saw the stage and my heart itched. Defuq! We chat over stupid things, laughed over silly jokes... sweet old girlfwens from high school.

-You're something special-

-I am too-

I want to do it

2012-02-05T09:55:00.000-08:00

I'm on the 3rd stage... I really wanna do it. In fact I'm preparing... not much. All the hell I'm going through, I'm doing it for you. And thank goodness for all the new seasons of American Idol 11, Glee3 and The Voice2, these all will definitely fired up my passion once again.

You're too precious to give up on. I don't wanna live a life without this ultimate dream. Bear with me.

I can do it. I will do it.

*Last day of CNY, The Chinese New Year Valentine's Day*

I should find a hot spot in Seremban to fish for oranges. LOL!!!

Definitely not. I dun like strangers remember?

ROAR!!! Dragon ROAR!!!

2012-02-04T20:26:00.000-08:00

There are so many things in life you can't choose to live with

The best thing you can do is to make the best out of the shits

Don't go jealous on how others live with their fabulous lifestyle because the life we're living in could have been luxurious compared to many out there

Don't go wish you could live somebody's life because you have yet to live the one you're blessed with. You are the master of your life. Be your own faith decider, the journey player, the game referee.

Play, Pause, Stop on your demand!!!

Maturity is judge on how wise you live and make decision at that very moment of time.

Attitude and behavior could be just an impersonation to mask the true identity. Why? Nobody knows and nobody should ever doubt. Nobody has the rights.

But the worst crime of all is to make other suffer while you indulged in your choice of living. Do not drag innocent people into your own misery and don't go spread vulnerability. You think you are the only one living in hell do you? Now that's immaturity. That's down right selfish!

Just some brilliant heartfelt of mine of the moment.

Does it triggers some thought of yours?

Happy Bufday Babes

2012-02-04T08:11:00.000-08:00

Great day with babes.... It has been four months since I last met Meeteng... & I can't have enough of my Ms blur queen Fang2. I went there with one aim and clear mission; to celebrate their bday. Fang2's is on today while Meeteng's on the 9th.

Tried my 1st Korean Meal today @ MidVel. Super dislike kimchi but love those dishes.

Good choices TMT :)

We chat over many stuff... Just like we were in university. Both are my close sweet course mates. I just comfortably sync in. Was so engaged with our conversation, time passed just to quickly. Saw Ah Fai in the mall with a new hair cut and checkered shirt without his baby DSLR. So miao~

I was captured by Haagen Daz ice-cream cake. They were so delicate and sweet and I thought we shall celebrate there until TMT said Baskin Robin is better. LOL! La... Okay lo. The warm nice Haagan daz's ice-cream man is gonna be sad cuz I promised him to return there later. XD. So we headed to the station and Fang2 choose her fav cake.

I sang the magic song and after a brief cam-whore season, both girls blew the candles.

Today was all on me. Pls, if I said I treat, don't turn me down. You guys worth more than I'm paying for and for goodness sake, it's your bday!

The best reason I used to convince them to let me pay is that I'm currently freaking rich! LOL!!! I don't spend on materials, so lavishing on you guys are healthy, worthy and it makes me happy. So, let me!

This one looks so good... LOL! This year Valentine is on Tuesday & Seremban no Haagan Daz. Fuck yea =.=

I don't wanna spend my Valentine alone... This year without my girls with me, I gotta think of something odd, something stupid and fun maybe... We shall see what's the plan LOL!!!

Beautiful sky.... So wanna go to the beach right now!

I'm perfect because I embrace my flaws...

Joanne is a happy child today :)

2012-02-03T07:55:00.000-08:00

Telephone Conversation:

I guess that's all from me. Thanks for your assistance.

Sure, no problem.

Erm, May I know your name?

But I need to know the person who verify this employee checking you see

No!

Hah?

My name is Noh!

LMAO.... I seriously don't know if I should be embarrassed by it or what...

Please answer in full sentence or give full name la...

Farny things like this should only happen once every few days to make office hour more worthwhile...

Most of the times Imma joke to myself. I mean I am the joke. I cannot believe how innocent I am sometimes. I believe to almost everything...I fall on every prank >.< Aduh. That's why always kena bully. Zomok geh...LOL! Wild ka...pigi la...XD

Going to meet my girls 2morow... Ah... how wonderful! A great day it will be :)

2012-02-02T07:20:00.000-08:00

Monday to Thurday seemed short when you finally arrived on Friday. And then you would realized Saturday & Sunday fly by even faster.

Once you start driving to work, the best thing you ever encounter is the broken parking meter. I service RM5.10 every single day for the parking lot. That is a lot for a month. I shud probably look for cheaper parking lot specialized for car park. But distanced walk in night time dangerous wor... Like I actually scare...but well, my life is too expensive to be risked that way...

Once you started your working life, the worst thing you can encounter is that you wake up sharp on 7am in weekend. Wtf!

PMS killed my mood to live everyday as lively as I should. In fact, working has taken away my fun. Perhaps it's teaching me a lesson. I torture you everyday so that you could appreciate what is fun and experience fun to its highest value possible whenever you can~

Whatever la... Waiting for Saturday to come. I'll be hanging out with my babes at MidVel :) Efforts are only to those who worth it. If you deserve my love, you don't have to ask!

Seremban town drainage system is pathetic or what? Today was a gloomy day. Heavy downpour in the evening. It was so bad, the water raised high enough to endangered many cars and drive all the bankers wild. LOL. Everyone rushed out to check for their cars. My baby Joshua has one elevated ass~ He just stood there perfectly steady n calm! Hahaha... fuck yea~

The last training at HQ please come faster...

2012-01-30T06:13:00.000-08:00

I'm not Okay!

Always remember why you make the decision in the first place

Christine reminded me this today. A reminder I used to sing to myself, a hypnotize I chat to get me through the days. It's easier said than done.

I just...

Chu 7 Happy Birthday To Us

2012-01-29T07:18:00.000-08:00

Brought my mom to have Dim Sum today and to meet her old friend. I'm currently obsess being a good gurl especially when I started to drive independently. Well, I guess I'm giving her the best I can, all she ever deserve when someone else cannot do it. Lucky you mom~ :P

Went back home around 11am...half dead. I declined my fwen invitation to go bai nian. And every Karaoke kaki in Seremban fails me. While I was comfortably laying on the cushion with my FB on, Eewen called me.

"Joanne, come outside"

"Ha, wat? why? What chu doing there?"

"Hehe... Come here pick you lo..."

Walou eh... you guys use army force to kiap me to go along ke? >.<

How to resist? How to resist them? :) So I went along. Mantin! Another bff house. Munwei was there with the boy. So, of course we like to joke about when is the big day and when is the red bom coming. You know asking for the sake of asking. But I always expect the typical answers. You noe what I mean.

The similar answer when I got asked when will I get a BF la...

This was their couple photo only... They modeled for a fwen I think

But what she say surprised us all. We were all happy shocked! Or just me. She said the wedding will be next year March. Registering marriage this coming 22 Feb and photography at Taiwan in May/June. I was so happy, I just hugged her and LOL. Very touching neh... You see the relationship grows and these 4-5 years of relationship blossomed into a marriage despite distance and hardship. You see it coming but it was the magic word that makes the uncertainty becomes a reality. I'm so happy for them :) The 1st couple of U65 getting hitched.

But this was also an alarming call. Hey, I'm already 24 yrs old. I'm still living in denial, denying that age. It's like you know your age, you tell it out loud but you don't meant it. I don't feel like I'm 24 at all. To think of I'm actually older than that and I'm still single wtf ~.~ Okay, whatever. Time flies and I should start to pick up from where I lag.

When I look at my friend with her partner, I found similarity in them. A matching feature or gesture... I wonder why couldn't I find someone like that too

Was I afraid of commitment? Was I choosy? Let me remind you of something, some history can influence you know...The way you are brought up is also the key factor that influence one's perception of love. And mine is definitely not a healthy one to begin with. I guess the moment my parent start to question on my status, then perhaps I should be worry. XP

Till then, play safe la~

...

Can you be more exciting? You bore me... I'm losing interest.

Random Picture in CNY

2012-01-29T06:09:00.000-08:00

This sweetheart is my cousin brother 1st child... He is posing with his grandpa. Very energetic fellow with his feet kicking in the air, in fact everywhere. What I love most about him is that he dun fear stranger... The moment he arrived in my grandma house everyone wants a piece of him. How this lovely kid can light up a room eh...

And his grandpa is someone fierce, well by the look of course. But when he plays with his grandchild, he himself become a big baby, talking baby with the kid. Heart melts :)

Bump to two lion in two days... The red one in Jusco on Saturday & the yellow one at Street. Bising la...Yea, very lively but... Sigh! Y can't I live the CNY spirit better?

A Thousand Years

2012-01-28T08:27:00.000-08:00

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid
To fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday
waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty I know she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything
Take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath,
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

3rd day of CNY-Paulian Gathering

2012-01-28T00:42:00.000-08:00

Well, numbers don't define anything. We have 8 people who responded and came for the gathering and we were the loudest in Kenny Rogers. LOL! We have always been the noisiest~ Esp when 3 of the loudest girl actually present in the gathering. :P

This time marked something very different. KimYang and XiaoZi were ACTUALLY there...

THEY ACTUALLY APPEARED~ how significant! Both of them never attend any of our gathering since... they noe well.

This was taken earlier...2 days b4 CNY

Saiz E wei.... LOL Believe me, You can never find anyone louder than her. Yes, not even me!

She is the 1st friend I called Dear... :)

The boys

My rumored BF... LOL. Not bad pun... future doctor ma...

BIG

HEART :)

Love you guys so much!!!

2012-01-26T06:10:00.000-08:00

Wish you were here right at this very moment.

You are nowhere near...

I'm scare

2012-01-23T08:29:00.000-08:00

I have a dream, A song to sing~

Westlife, I Have a Dream

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?, I don't belong here

Radiohead, Creep

Dragon year- Not quite facinating...

2012-01-22T10:12:00.000-08:00

Every CNY comes and goes... Not one is more interesting than the other. I have already forgotten the feeling of being excited and truly enjoy the celebration. It's more like a responsibility to celebrate as part of the Chinese culture and being one of the Chinese, it's just aint good to detach yourself from the union. There was an emotional article I read in TheStar this morning. The man said CNY is meaningless once one reaches puberty. It was so damn true. Now lagi no fun cuz I'm financially able and I needa come up with angpau to grandparents. Well, that wasn't the case.

Perhaps I have not been leaving home frequent enough to understand the value of togetherness. Aii.

To do list on February

> Celebrate Fang2 and MeeTeng Bday @ KL, maybe can meet up with Syndy too~ my beloved coursemates

> Celebrate Valentine's Day~ Erm, last Valentine, I was with my girls celebrating singlehood day XD. I just wish I don't have to go thru that day alone.

ICPW2

2012-01-21T07:53:00.000-08:00

Fyi, ICPW stands for

Intensive Credit Processing Workshop

Section2: Attended for all new credit officer...

LOL... Well, nobody bothers bout it rhyte... Who cares the name when everybody enjoy themselves so much for that 7 days program. New people around the same age par coming from whole Mas, well literary, gathered at ITTC for training. Yes, we gone thru intense classes. So much of info thrown into our brain expecting our cells to soak them in in the speed of light. Especially to those Science background mia... of course headache le. The most crucial one is that after this training, the branch will definitely expect more from us, thinking that we are all well-prepared for the workloads.

Erm, haha~I try la k~ no guarantee yea

Can't help it~ :) I'm just training my skill~ and appreciate what I thought worthy of~ Yea...roll ur eyes.... XD

Happy time passes too swiftly~ SIGH!

Outing geng... I miss Suzane Mah!!! PBB future BM

If I could work with them every single day, then my day to day work at branch will not be so difficult. I swear it will be much better. My job is an interesting one among all alienated fields out there. The fact that I have a big dream to score with much uncertainty, my heart longs for it so so badly I can't focus much on my current job. I don't know how to love it. I can only try my very best to serve it as much as it deserves.

Big bunch of nice fwens I made thanks to PBB training classes XD. I'm looking forward to the mentoring season with COD at Menara PB. I wonder when it will be due... either end of Feb or beginning of March.

Close group mates :)

One of the cutest guys in the course. He came into the picture with another guy from the earlier batch. Err, post for the sake of posting le. He balanced back the ratio in the class of

pretty boy : pretty girls

which was earlier not at all healthy! LOL!!!

That would be another 5 days training, this time at KL la... Whoever there missing me badly, please book reservation one week earlier... I gotta arrange my schedule~ I'm busy k XP

Gotta hit the club as I got to know Zouk is just opposite Menara PB~ Woot!!! The wild child shall be released! I wanna go to the nearest Wing's cafe and visit Chowkit road market. Wherever la...

Dammit JC!

Prawn Fact

2012-01-13T07:14:00.000-08:00

As I was arguing this afternoon, peeling prawn to someone else can be a sign of hinting...

Of course it's a subjective opinion and I'm open to objections. It will truly have to depend on the individual's character and other assumptions based on the particular person who feels the hint.

So I threw out a topic during our 2 hours lunch break this afternoon. I suggested that if a guy actually volunteer to peel a prawn to a girl, it could be a hint to her, providing that the guy is not the ultimate gentleman in the first place. Those gentleman belong to another category and their hinting could altogether be the reverse of his own personality. This I leave it to those self-proclaimed gentleman to argue.

So, why do I make this judgment? Peeling prawn to someone else is something very personal. It's a delicate action from someone to another. Firstly, it requires effort~ of course, it's not hard to peel a prawn! Seriously! It's the act of caring and wanting to do for that particular person on purpose that counts. It's tedious to begin with, by hand or utensil. Many people enjoy eating prawn excluding me but how many would like to peel it especially when you actually dressed up for a dinner or function.

Food sharing is also consider an act of hint for different sexes. If you let him shares yours or the other way round, he is either your best friend or that you crush on him. Nobody in the right state of mind would randomly shares food or do something extra (like prawn peeling) to someone they barely know or not close with.

In the funny survey this afternoon, the guys sided me. The girls have another thing in mind. Cuz they do that often. Well, my subject is different. They suggested perhaps I was slightly over-rated. Erm, I once share sundae like ice-cream with few guys n girls. LOL. I noe! How GELI_FYING!!!! But we were best of friends. It didn't crossed my mind that they might sending me a hint. But I daringly shared with them despite the geliness was because one of the guys was my ex-crush.

Again, this fact is subjected to the personality of the individual. For me, if I were to taste your saliva, I certainly like you a lot as best friend or crush. It does carries some weight of hinting, over-ratingly, for me.

Funnily, sharing food with parents seems unbearable, but with bestfriends I never think twice XD

Hush Hush

2012-01-12T07:01:00.000-08:00

HTC Camera~ Rush of beauty...XD

Erm... I'm just appreciating something flawless, or something I thought flawless at the right moment :)

Let me let go of the dependency I possess

Let me soar

Let me live my dreams

The cat is ready to strike!!!

1101

2012-01-11T09:36:00.000-08:00

There was a PBB Seremban Branch Dinner tonight at Royal Bintang. Well, Speechless XD. Saw some very funny characters... Really funny characters.

Cool vs Nerds in reality. Erm... I, I wish I could slap myself from being so judgmental~ who am I to judge anyway. Hey, I can't help it! I'm too self conscious~ As much as I'm bothered with myself, I'm just too happy to find how perfect I am in comparison to some other people. How close~~ Where gone all my humility?

When someone wanna know you, he/she will come to you in one way or another. Some smart people are capable to make you wanna talk about yourself. You just wanna bare it. You wish he knew you all along because you can't seems to tell him enough. Some not so smart people will try to observe. They make you explain certain character of yours indirectly. Open questions. Only dumb people will ask a lot and expect you to answer truthfully without being annoyed.

Sorry lor... 2 direct questions from stranger I will be pissed off already.

I met all 3 kinds. Personally I think I'm more of a type2 people. But people shits all with me. LOL! My observation is much stronger than my verbal communication. And I can't stand too many shits in any one time. So, I'm selective in being luring to others.

ITTC I'm coming! You can expect a huge tired smile on my big face now! XD

Sweet Dream Dearest :)

The Scientist

2012-01-10T07:10:00.000-08:00

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

*Coldplay*

Fuck yea XD

2012-01-08T09:12:00.000-08:00

Oo...Never talk to JC when she is sleepy or on cloud nine~

She can be unbelievably unpredictable.

LOL

I think I'll marry a smart man and has an affair with a singer with a voice so beautiful who can play instrument. Never the other way round.

MUAHAHAHAHAH WTF

I don't believe such perfect package actually exist!!!

Security and passion always don't get along. I can solely fall in love with warm vocal. I adore good musical skill and I respect wide-knowledged being. All these are charming qualities I look into. But they don't blend in. Cannot prioritize pulak. So I came out with a bullshit like the above.

LOL

Emo!!!

I don't wanna work 2morrow!!!

3days to 2nd training at ITTC Bangi. Commercial loan!

Pls...let the day come faster. I wanna break-free from my work place.

> <

Miss U

2012-01-07T10:29:00.000-08:00

Presenting to you all my beautiful biologist ladies...

Syndy, Jayne, MeeTeng, Pauline, Kenix, Hui Lee, YiQian, Pumpkin, ChinFang...

Eh....2 missing....

My fav SauKheng

and

Miss Cherly at Germany

Miss u girls so so badly. So badly!

JC Chasez

2012-01-06T08:51:00.000-08:00

AKA Joshua Scott Chasez

Almost perfect :) Once. I wonder where he is now.

The best thing was the fact I loved him so badly, I don't have to be scared of letting him know that I do. I don't have to hide my feeling for him or to fake it. I don't even have to be bothered if he would love me back cuz it just is IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Sometimes when I play with fire, I'm cautious. When it is warm and cosy, I might get indulge with it. Just to that extend. But once it's getting way off uncomfortable, I'll back off. It's just not the right temperature. I won't allow it.

So gotta stay headstrong, heart steeled. Or I will end up falling for the wrong one at the right time or the right one at the wrong time. Disastrous eh~Seriously, I can't allow the wrong one to like me for the right reason and the right one to like me for the wrong reason too. Can I be less miserable? Well, as if I have choices now...Buahahahaha.

Bottom line is I don't want you to like me.

Pls.

Pause! Feel my pulse! Not racing.

I'm safe.

Endanger me... I need an adventure! The right one!

Bookmarks for Aisec S.E.E.D

2012-01-02T08:15:00.000-08:00

The 250 pieces of bookmarks are finally completed!

:) All 250 babies

Happie New Year 2012

2012-01-01T07:52:00.000-08:00

This is a story about the girl that survived to another year XD

Well, nobody thanks anybody for their existence today what's more about the fact that they are still alive at this very hour~

Oh...why so emotional? LOL...Na, heartfelt jek

So, new year eh... I had a lonely one. Erm, I don't feel the urge to celebrate it. After the crazy Xmas and then the Melaka visit, I need sometime off to recharge myself. The weather made me sick. PMS made me extra emotional.

The day when Jcdagreat took over the stage!

Bidding goodbye to 2011 wasn't easy. Probably one of the reason why I was reluctant to welcome 2012. Last yeas was an amazing year for me. I wasn't saying it for the sake of saying but it was truly a year for Jcdagreat!

Those moments were visually captured, recorded, verbally acknowledged, praised, alphabetically written in my blog, and stubbornly embedded in my brain!

Random moments

I can't recall them all, I can't tell the date confidently either. But thank god I wrote all shits in my blog. I can always trace them back and they don't lie. Just very subjective! LOL. Well, of course those Joanne's post of who crush her and who she crushes again to when she was outta crush are ignorable. Please just simply skip it. Those were junks!

My girls... There are more... You should start suspecting... I could be gay

Muahahaha

2011 was a year of celebration! A year I realized I needa cherish every moment spent with beautiful people. Good people can always be subjected to illness, to bad lucks to all evils.

Powerless, so powerless.... I am no god! Just the great! LOL. Dammit!

2012... Well, it should be the year of my dream come true shall my plan materialized.

I will try my best. I will try to live more healthily! I will eat medicine more regularly. Ahhh... Fml!

I will try to live up to my wild child image. So my attitude and my image can be tally. Good girl isn't so beneficial. I will visit more places. Maybe some beaches and islands. Internal Mas la... how can you tell what's best in other country when you don't even know yours?

I will try to confess the next time I fall in love. Well, I don't know how to love myself right... so, that would be impossible for me to commit. Bar has been raised. Not even glittering vampire like Edward can lure me... go find your bella XP. I'm buying myself another ring this coming Valentine. Na, don't pity me... You don't know what He has got for me all these while...

Well, Same old same old la... Stay ego, stay confident, stay charming~

Look of the Year...LOL! I'm losing my youth wtf

Happy December #Fun no.5

2011-12-31T07:37:00.000-08:00

A great no.5 :)

The last in December 2011

Finally a visit to Malacca with my dearest. A trip I plan for sometimes.

30th of December. Why the date... Well long story~ No, I'm not talking bout it.

My girls came to Seremban on the 29th night. It has been a good 3 months I never meet miss Pumpkin. Fang2 too... I guess we haven't been talking so much for a long time... we chat non stop until 3am ignoring the fact that we have to get ready by 8am tomorrow. Morning of course was hell. LOL!

But Malacca get me going. Adrenalin was still strong. So we hopped into the bus and resumed chatting. Reached Malacca at 10am. Yi Qian the tour guide came into the picture. 1st destination, Jonker Street. Tried the ever famous Durian Cendol Gula Melaka Cendol, Asam laksa, and the special Chicken Rice of Hoe Kee. Full shit! Awesome foods! XD Fat pun worthy la...

Next up, St Paul Church! A very old broken building... history value: Priceless.

This uncle just melt my heart. He sang Wonderful Tonight...wtf, there was a extreme cute angmoh standing just next to me and I didn't give a damn!!! LOL

Then A-Famosa. Erm... Seriously, I was slightly disappointing. I cant remember how it was when I saw it last time. Long time ago. But I always thought A famosa is a huge structure... Too differ from what I had in mine.

Nadeje~ a desert cafe :) Hugely popular in Malacca...Multi-layered cake... RM9.00 per piece

Kalah Secret Recipe

Next stop was Rumah Merah and the Museum Samudera. I didn't manage to try Menara Taming Sari yet. And no more Eye of Malaysia in Melaka. Slightly rush tho... Hmm. I'll be back for more! I wanna try Baba & Nyonya food and the rest of the things I missed this time around.

I am a History lover. Sejarah was always my fav subject in school and Malaysia history indirectly begun in Melaka. The moment I stepped onto the land of golden values they were all coming back to me. The names, the story... And the 1st name struck my head was Parameswara! The next one was

Alfonso De Albuqueque.

LOL!!!

History Revisits...When I saw Selat Melaka by far, I was trying to imagine how was it really back in those years... Oh, the buildings there were unique. Fusion styles...how amazing!

But what really matters was my girls. This was our second time, us together kicking off from Seremban and stormed to others cities. I'm looking forward for more... maybe some beaches or islands :)

Internal mia la...

Before you know other country's beauty, it's only wise if you know yours first...

2012 is coming and I'll set my tour list very soon :)

I see you girls next year alright

Haha...a cold joke that can only be use until 11.59pm tonight XD

I miss us already

Happy December #Fun no.4

2011-12-25T23:23:00.000-08:00

24th Christmas Eve

The signature Tree :)

I arrived at Bangi at around 3pm. Kok Fung came and helped me out with decoration. We went for lunch at McD and had a great face to face conversation for the first time~ Surprising huh Sinux?

The bandroom was in quite a mess...Like usual~ He helped me blow all the 12 ballons XD and all in different sizes. Favourite faces soon arrived one by one. When I hugged Siew Win, I felt teary. I miss her a lot! We kicked it off with senior's performances. Everyone throwing original tracts.

The Mystery Guest XD

~Spot the Red~

Kim Ling sang the one I wrote. Adoi!!! He said he meant to compose an inspirational song and somehow I turned it into a Breakup/Giving up song. Dammit! And the person I was referring in the song was sitting right in front of me!!! I was shocked...But he sang so blury which was a good thing anyway cuz nobody gets the wording XD. Then dinner time. McD again... twister fries heaven. We jammed (unplug) for an hour plus and soon it was game time! Adoi... it was our Laugh-Die section of the night. Lastly, it was Christmas caroling. The function was over at around 11pm but everyone stay put to wait for the countdown.

The co-organizer :) My babe :) My dearest <3

Believe me. I can be drunk without drinking. I don't know how my brain manipulate my enzymes into creating this awkward situation. Lol. It's easy really. Just make me very happie! And to wrap the night up, of course we headed to the one and only, best of all mamak, the Al-Fariz. Back to Jennifer room at around 2++am and I had the freakiest shivering bath ever. Luckily no internet access or I wouldn't be able to sleep at 3am!

I love NEWTUNERS

My Family

Wait... I have not finish telling the story yet!!! Part2

25th Christmas!!!

An outing with dancer fwens at Bintang Walk...Well, incomplete team really but forgivable~ : P

Fer Fer joined me for brunch as she dated her fwens too

We ate at Taiwan sumthing restaurant located just behind the Lowyat Plaza. Psycho Longeh kept telling interest facts about psychology which he masters.

Well, my main aim was to meet my dancers. The next things were to hug all Xmas trees in the area and locate Santa Clause! I wanna confront him and demand my gift! My true love! HAHA.... Or I'll shave every single hairs of his. Hana... I've been a bloody good woman all year long ar.... I guess he heard me. I didn't spot any > <

We visited at least 5 malls. The first being Pavilion!!! Bears' paradise! I was expecting many many MANY big furry soft toys. Well...

Bear aka no.3 and Longeh :)

Pavilion display is always the best.

LOL

I tested ChaTime for the first time after hearing much about it. It was nice... Really. I'm looking forward to try more kinds. Sticky candies were by far the coolest candy I've seen. Then we moved on to Time square! I wanna shop madly but time restrained! Too much talking and photo shooting. Lol. We don't get such times very often.

Fortunately, we bumped to this performance. So many Santas dancing along with Xmas songs medley. The steps were easy but very adorable. It just drew the smile out of me. It gave me a deep feeling. I wasn't sure if it was because I stood on the feet of a dancer or that I was just touched to see such team spirit~

Needa rush back to Seremban after that. Longeh fetched me back to UKM and we had a great chat. Very determined personality which is one thing I am truly lacking of. Something crazy happened when Kimling fetched me and Siewin to KTM! My dear was suggesting that we could sing K at Seremban and KimLeng agreed after much consideration. In the end, he droves us all to Seremban and we had our expensive buffet K season at Jusco greenbox! Who cares the price! It was Christmas! Very impromptu decision but was materialized. I took over the driving from Seremban onwards eh... And they are alive!!!! LOL

Not without warning tho. No playing, strictly no shocking allow... haha...

We sing until 11pm.

And I saw JC Chasez in his video Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday :)

The finale :)

A tired yet wonderful weekends I had with beautiful people I truly madly deeply cherished.

I appreciate the times we spent together.

You know le... insecure people like me always need the pillar of strength to hold her still and you guys are my best security doze I ever need.

Priceless!

Paiseh a... I tend to be dramatic/poetic

I feel complete when I'm with you. You filled the missing hole in the life I'm living with and mended this emptiness altogether. Now that the event is over, I needa walk out from your embrace and back to the monotonous world.
I will be strong!! Until the next time we meet each other again, very soon.

Meanwhile, just let me be emotional for a few days. I'll be okay!

I'm just downright pathetic in saying goodbye. I don't like it.

Malacca trip~Pending. 30th of Dicember!!!

5 more days to give up on you :)

***
Thank you dearests...Officially missing you

~Goodbye Xmas 2011~

Merry Christmas love

2011-12-23T20:20:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS

HO HO HO

I have less than 48 hours to celebrate XMAS... Will I be able to meet all my favourite girls and boys?

I love my PT dancers too :)

Always...

Imma hug all Xmas tree in town and speak to every Santa

Locate the loudest girl in town! You'll find me!!!

Muahahahahaha

2011-12-21T07:38:00.000-08:00

I'm not happy

You dun care

I know why

I just...

I'm so torn apart

Why don't just let me live

I'm already trying my best

My very best

I'm doing things I hate the most

I know why and Im mending the scars

Give me time

Let loose

I need individuality

Leave me alone

Spare me darkness and emptiness

Enclosed and protected

I don't need you

You failed me!

Ever the same!

The week Horoscope:

2011-12-18T08:45:00.000-08:00

The planet encourages you to inject a new sense of spontaneity into ur love life. All you really need is someone who differs from the norm. They could come via a person you already know or by way of an unexpected invitation. Life has a way of turning up these little surprises.

Lucky day: Thursday

Lucky colour: Yellow

Lucky number: 5

~I wanna choose to believe~

Happy December #Fun no.3

2011-12-18T08:33:00.000-08:00

Erm, Well... Cannot be my no. 3 fun alright... But more like sumthing new to me~ Company's annual dinner celebrated at Hotel Equatorial Malacca. Gathered at my working place at 3.30pm in the noon just to wait for the bus. Around 10plus colleagues chose to go by bus. The others car pools. Well, dress so pretty, ride bus meh... I'm new! So excusable! Like I wanna....Ish.

The opening show was quite grand. 90+ tables for Southern region 2 which includes N.Sembilan, Melaka and Johor branches. Some great shows, some down right pathetic~ You guys seriously haven't meet the new talent in the town XD

It got a bit too draggy half way through the show and I was bored and slightly drunk lol. Well, one of the reason was of course the fact that I did not hit any lucky draw. Ah, like always...

One of the Uncles in my branch get the golden coins for contributing the bank over 25 years...Whoah, Imagine that. Every single day, month, year for 25 years in the bank, doing the routine jobs continuously~ Sigh.

Definitely not me.... Not till I materialize my dreams

I always love Christmas spirit... I love the tress... I wanna make a wish under the mistletoe~

Looking forward to these 2 weekends. Going to have Newtune gathering at bandroom during Xmas eve. Then I'll be storming KL city~ Bintang walk on the 25th to find all the beautiful deco n tress with my PT dancer fwens... Ha, I am always fair ok~

Back home in the evening with my bestie Siewin~ We can sing whole night on the bed till the boxing day :)

Malacca Trip Pending... will be on the 30th!!!

LOL

I can't help smiling :)

I'm saving to spend... I'm being calculative for the best of others' interest. When will I start thinking about me...Solely me... What do I really want and like? I know it too well and I want you to figure it out.

12 days left

I still don't see it coming...

This make me a bit sad... cuz my 2011 will be incomplete.

2011-12-11T08:19:00.000-08:00

I looked into his eyes, I know I was reluctant to leave. We didn't managed to catch up with each other yet. He hugged me so tight when I actually least expecting it. This time it came as a surprise. This time it was different. It was that rush! I couldn't find words to describe it. Blame it on the weak vocab maybe~ lol

Too bad that we are best of friends and it just seems impossible.

When will that rush actually appear towards someone who loves me? Symbiosis has always been my fav relationship of living nature... but why is this mutual attraction has yet to materialize in my life? A question I cannot answer myself.

Well, the comforting factor is that I have bloody lotsa best friends to replace that one particular man I couldn't find. But lately it seems more people begin to bother asking if I have a bf or if I have ever been into a relationship before...

My answer: I have loved and lost and broken... am seeking, yet to be found.

20 days left... and I guess I am already losing you.

Gee gee gee

Xmas plan on the 24th is set. Too bad, Cameron plan failed. But Newtuner gathering is definitely on. Location bandroom. My position: Decoration master XD.

Happy December #Fun no.2

2011-12-11T00:10:00.000-08:00

Pesta Tanglung UKM 32nd (PTUKM 32nd)

Was looking forward for this since I knew the date of the function which was.... one month plus ago. Yea... those who know me will know why. PT-UKM marked a lot of the 1sts of me as a performer. This year is exceptionally emotional as I would not be able to set my feet on the stage. I no longer eligible. I once thought of taking master so I could go one more round of PT-UKM and NTLP again... how silly~

So, I set my butt comfortably on the audience seat after a few rounds running to seek for old friends. I managed to grab VIP seats but I chose to be with my dancers. I didn't know what to expect but I was anticipating a good show. Was slightly disappointed with the dancers' quality really. Some pieces were very messy. Hmm, considering the time factor, this might really already the best they could offer. Was happy to see familiar faces on stage.

When the actors broke into a song somewhere in the middle of the show, 3 faces I known too well suddenly appeared on the stage, dancing so so beautifully. I was like...What was going on? Whoah... I was told they were at back stage helping the juniors...Wait, who told me that? It was Darren!!! Who was he? A dancer cum actor!!! Ah... Huge surprise he gave us!!! They gave us!!! If I were there earlier too, I might have joined them on stage already XD. You know I can't resist it! I was touched throughout that piece. Experienced dancer with beautiful lines and skills. Brilliance! @ Melody, Sly, ChaLoong

Technical issues were unbearable. The show dragged till quite late and my dad arrived even before I started to have fun and meet everybody else. That made me uneasy and I was rushing. I'm glad I met my VIPS though.

Few of my darlings...<3 Not complete er

I wished I have decided to go back on Sunday, then I would have more time to 38 with my dancer fwens and teachers. I miss them so very much!!! Everyone looks fine and healthy :) What can I ask for? Tchers remember me~

2 beautiful petite ladies on the left are my tchers for 3 years in PT :')

I really wish to learn from you again...

Dancer Family~

Ultimately reluctant, but I have no choice to wave all of them goodbye.

Officially emo
> <

ITTC

2011-12-09T18:38:00.000-08:00

My group mates... Very lovely girl.

And the cutest guy of the lot out of erm...6 guys. He proves that the Bieber hair was not an issue. The one matters is the person carrying it.

Graduate trainees ~ Credit Team

Everyone felt happy with the environment here and nobody really wants to go back to branch. Age gap make such vast different you see... =( Emo.

Despite the reluctance, I needa go back and rest. Desperately! I miss my dog and my bed. Hmmp... Busy work life ahead. Now my branch will assume that I'm fully well-equipped with the necessary knowledge to be independent.

Freakin lovin the mirrors there :)

22 days

2011-12-09T09:32:00.000-08:00

Emo nyer... One whole week of dramatic events and also fun. I finally went to seek for the doctor after fearing the worst.... I felt so fragile and something is really wrong inside. That pain is killing me. Ms Lilo urged me to go see doctor too. Ego made me walk a distance to the panel clinic when I could have easily ask a friend help to fetch me there. Ego too made me walked alone of fearing others might not willing to help. Today mark the last day of me in ITTC for the month being. I'll see my new found fwens next year 12Jan-20Jan/2012.

KIWI did a great favour for me... Seriously, he has always been my fav junior.

Photos all soon ba.... very tired~ tummy ache~

2011-12-08T04:43:00.000-08:00

WTF

Tummy is still like this.... And I ate laksa for dinner

WTF

2morrow exam tim and I've yet to start....Now I'm sleepy

WTF

2morrow last day of the month at ITTC :(

WTF

Less than 23days to fall in love... And I have yet to obtain a new target

WTF

2011-12-05T05:14:00.000-08:00

Today class was all about Bafia, ABM, FIC...

Gosh! Was interesting but when it drag too long without much prompt visual exposure, my eyes fails me. Well, not really, I was the best attention payer among all. Just after the last tea break, I begin to feel uneasy. I felt my stomach bloating. Unable to burp out the gas made me so sick. I feel like puking. Right until I went back to my room, I resist from puking. I wish it won't occur. I tried lying on the bed, try to get my focus to FB, so on and forth but I felt so terrible. 7pm, my colleagues called me out to dinner and I said I still don't feel alright. They said tapou for me. I just melted inside out. I was like... why are you guys so nice...

Once I slammed the door shut, I felt something wrong rushing out. Straight directed to the sink, I vomited my lunch. Ah...that fault smell. Unbearable! That rush puke lasted 4-5 times. You don't know. I only vomited once when I was young but it was enough to scare the hell out of me. I was afraid..of what? I have no idea. I just thought I might unable to breath when I puke. What worst was the sink was stuck and those stuff just lingers around the swirling water. Fuck off. I called the service centre. I myself needa clean up the yucky stuff. OMG! During those geli-fiest moment you will witness the most powerful willingness of yours to do the impossibles.

I still feel utmost unwell. My tummy has yet to give up to let me rest. I'm still pondering if I should really called for a doctor service or that I should just hit the bed. My mom called to check me out as I told her earlier about my tummy discomfort. Unable to restraint from telling her, I spilled everything. Me and my bloody big mouth. My mom is those panicky kinda person. I bet she won't be able to sleep tonight. When will you grow up Joanne? I guess I needed someone to talk to. And there wasn't anybody I could tell. ='(

Know Ur Joanne

2011-12-03T06:35:00.000-08:00

Yan : The obedient daughter even if it's for the wrong reason

Joanne : The best friend you always wanted

JC : The fearless stage persona

These 3 combines, you will either end up loving me or hating me.

LOL

Happy December #Fun no.1

2011-12-02T20:57:00.000-08:00

2nd of December

2nd day at ITTC and I was reluctant to wake up. Ate breakfast then rushed back to room to get ready. Slightly late to class but I met a bunch of other gals. So, it was okay :p. The activities were fun and my group mates are friendly. It was easy to get along with them.

Us with the project and with our Lecturer

Then, unexpected, Ah fai said he wanted to go to the bandroom to check the juniors out b4 jamming. GREAT! Of course I'm not reluctant at all! They were busy arranging the flow for the singing competition this coming Tuesday. I'm so glad it fall on my training time. Now I can participate as audience :) It would definitely be better if I were a contestant!

After meeting some of my favourite Newtuners, we headed to Bangi Studio for jamming. Woot! My first time with the Gods. I was invited long time ago but I couldn't make it. This time when the opportunity come, I ain't gonna let it go. Yes, it was so so cool! Serious jammers =) Oo I'm the only female in the team. Ha, most probably I'll get bullied than be pampered > <. Aiks, biasa lar...

Then we lepak at Al-Fariz again. :)

The fun shall continue next Monday~ Now desperately need some good rest. The cat was wet and shivered yesterday and some celaka construction nearby disturbed my sleep this morning.

28 more days

Don't complaint :) It has been so long since I last felt that I am beautiful.

01/12/2011

2011-12-01T06:27:00.000-08:00

It's finally DECEMBER!!!!

Started off greatly with me in ITTC!

IT & Training Centre located at rear end Bangi!

A great place... It gives me a feeling like when I was in University but very much upgraded~

I have exactly 30days to fall in love.

Maybe Santa can grant me my wish! I have been a good child this year, in fact I have been a terrific one with additional edges... u know, I'm hot and I'm lovely...etc etc.

Send me my Edward! I don't care if he bites.

LOL

I'm shits serious ok!

Erm, I didn't know I really need some lonesome time until I was interrupted tonight. I was sacrificing a lot of my time to other people and it's only nice if I were given some solely to myself at times.

=) 01/12/2011

2011-11-29T07:41:00.000-08:00

Dulan... Freakin Dulan!!!

I hate people owing me money!

But I most hated people who owe me an answer!!!

Diu. No next time!!

27/11/2011

2011-11-27T10:06:00.000-08:00

So this working phase is real... It only seems real when I received my first paycheck. The 1st thing I did was to pay my car installment. I aimed to do this for a long time. I want it to belong to myself completely. Jcdagreat's asset. The next thing was the NewTune oldmen yearly donation. Then my mom's extra income. The only thing I could do for my dad is to stop him from giving me pocket money. Bloody darn good daughter eh... You can't get any better girl...so Pa and Ma, appreciate me! XD

Today was a erm... a cool day. I'm going to ITTC bangi this Thursday for a 7 working days training- the 1st term out of the coming 3 months period. My dad and I went there to check out the road and the nearest route. I gav and got some wrong info and we went for a wild trip in Bangi! 3 years in ukm and I never step into the industrial area. It was so impressive. Search for almost an hour for a 5min location. Sorry a....

Once back Seremban, I bathed my dog and then change his collar belt. Bought him a new one~ blue in colour... Now he looks so much younger... LOL. As I promised, I treat my mom dinner at Kenny Rogger. I was lured by the new sets advertised on TV the other day. Fuyoo...Expensive wei... But love those muffins... So so so yummy~~ I need moreee

On my way back, medium rain occurred and it was scary. Driving in the dark is fine, but when rain comes, it freaks me out.

Hmm, I got myself some stuffs....necessities, watched 2 movies in the weekend....Good enough for the month I guess. Should really stop spending. I'm being alot more calculative cuz well, I learned it the hard way. A sense of responsibility to yourself!

Needa save for next month expenses... The month of gatherings , of Xmas, of New Year and of love.

I'm left with 33 days to fall in love. I'm currently busy making excuses not to really do that... counter react to the stupid promise to myself.

My almost perfect 2011 is coming to an end... Sigh. So sad~~~

I really miss my uni days... so ever perfect...

2011-11-24T06:44:00.000-08:00

That pie was taken... Sigh. I should have guessed it. Well, that cute look is not hard to score a girl. So, he might most probably not be single. Well, I didn't know the gal was so near. Now I know. Not quite matching but the boy was cute, the girl is pretty!

Lost target before start trying tim. =) I didn't play angel for a week le... I wonder where the sad boy is? I guess he found a better angel comforting him... He need me no more. As long as you're okay.

I'm just a little disappointed.

I need someone to break the spell.

2011-11-23T07:27:00.000-08:00

Accidentally ate lunch with my boss. I was waiting for my food when I saw 2 seniors at the back. I think they were almost finish eating and they looked like a couple to me (my cutie pie with another pretty senior clerk =( SAD) so, I decided not to join them. I waived at them and then I continue messaging my friends. Half way eating I saw my boss coming in with a plate of food. The eyes met jor, so I have no way to hide but to smile at him. I think he couldn't find an empty seat and he decided to sit with me. OMG!!!!!

Superbly awkward! The beginning was hell. I don't even know if I should talk. What's the proper manner in this situation? Goodness! But as the conversation progress, he begin to talk more. Very inspiring workaholic and he has a great portfolio. Indirectly, he sorta wanna pushed me and that gives me pressure. Maybe because he was a UKM student too. So we got along in the conversation. As far as I know, nobody in the bank would wanna eat with the boss. He's a strict person and very particular in management.

Hmm, unavoidably, it occurred and he knocked some sense into my head. Valuable! Eh, my cutie pie didn't smile much these 2days. Not feeling well eh? Thanks to my direct senior, I'm progressing well. :)

Miss the chance to meet a mad scientist today. He was nominated for best Thesis in a conference organized in Seremban. Aish... So near yet so far... Paiseh ar handsome. Next time.

Sometime, I get mad without much reason. There are some points that I can't tolerate at some times. If you don't like me, don't wanna talk to me, or scare if I would fall for you, just say it. Don't push me to another people suggesting the impossibles. I talk bitchy, but I am not slutty. Please don't say anything that challenged my ego. I look like a playful girl... but some jokes are not meant to say at all. This someone I respect jokingly asked do I sleep my way to the top when I said I ate with my boss. WTF! I seriously was offended. What was you even thinking?

Sigh! PMS time la...sorry la.

Oh, I just design myself a 3 big No and Yes for guys.

3 big NO to married man, in a relationship's males and jerks

3 big YES to man with big buck, big dream and big love

LOL

I left with 38 days to fall in love within this year...

Aza aza fighting Jc~

Not quite blue yet

2011-11-21T07:25:00.000-08:00

In fact, imma feeling yellow, blue erm, pink...whichever la

lol

Three things happen today~worth mention

1) I deal with a customer myself. Not that I want to... All seniors were away. Some very dai pai mia sat at the back. So, with my 1/4 knowledge and 100% eagerness to aid the uncle, I helped him out. Mana tau, I was the one who signaled the SOS alarm. Goodness me... Geboh la miss Joanne. He was asking bout credit card and some complex loan checking which I have yet to master.... Eng eng help lor. Luckily, the case was eventually solved. Sometimes silly doing makes you smart. I learn another lesson which my senior might not be able to teach. Cuz you won't always bump to a blur uncle alone :)

2) I was still shivering madly from the ice room in the office and hunger. And the aftermath of the incident made me even blur. I ate alone at this old folks restaurant and I breathe out relaxingly. Just after 30min, my cutie pie emerged from behind tapping my shoulder. :)

We don't have the same lunch hour so, it wasn't easy to meet him in lunch break. We ate together and I told him about that incident. He answered alot of my questions. A little chubby but he has got one of the most lovely smile of all guys I met before. With him, I'm a lot calmer. A sense I always find in a man. I sometimes wish I could be surrounded by more jerks cuz I at least I'm not gonna crush on the wrong one. I don't like being proven wrong all the time. Focus JC! Eye on ur dream!!!

3) I suffered paper cuts AGAIN... Fuck! I paling dislike paper cut!

I find a reason to smile on something real for now

Y so serious~

2011-11-20T07:55:00.000-08:00

Erm... Lame weekend I had makes my Monday slightly less blue. 

4th week coming. Yea, I keep counting the days because you know, I'm fully aware and conscious about the working life. I'm trying to digest the fact that I am already ventured into this hectic world. When I lost count of the days, I know I'm 100% comfortable in this erm....thing. 

Dated YS for Twilight this Wed nite, and Puss on friday nite :) 

December is drawing closer, my 2nd fav month after August. 

Objective of the year has yet to be fulfilled. 2011 has been a great year and I specifically want the last month to be more special.

I wanna fall in love in December 2011 :) Not much to ask for right 

I promise not to be choosy! Serious one!!! X mau choose liao. LOL

I x mau end up gay.... =D 

Miss Lo Jie will definitely smack me. 

gee gee gee 

18/11/2011

2011-11-18T09:41:00.000-08:00

Arrived early to the wedding and I wasn't really in the mood for a celebration. Tired maybe but anyway, I made it to the party. So, I was there pretty much alone though there were people around chatting loudly and laughing. I called up some friends just to cheer myself up. I was teasing this good friend of mine about him gaining weight and he explained that it was the period when he had an appendix operation. I was dumbfounded. The next thing I asked was why didn't you tell me? I can feel myself chocked as in... I wanna cry. I mean, how could you not tell? So I wasn't even your best friend? You know, I am sensitive towards such matter... because I care. I don't like being the last to know about my besties' well-being. 

Please don't let me be the last to know....

It's nice to see my cousins again... I didn't know I miss them until I saw them. They represent my childhood and boy, how we have grown... :)

~Well, I'm getting older, too~

Yer...I really X buleh drink mia... 3/4 of wine made my face red! Bloody red. I like that blur feeling though. The only time I got really drunk was on OPM bday last year. Continuous beer drinking and tidbits got my face white. I can't explain why but I was ghost pale and rashes surfaced on upper body for a few days. 
Guess I should just stick with wine... or coffee!

Congrats bro :)

2011-11-17T07:18:00.000-08:00

3rd week's Friday is coming and I can't stand being so stiff and darn right serious!

I need to breath in youth.... 

Giv me back my microphone... 

I can't even hum in the office....fuck!

I wanna smile because I'm happy~ I wanna LOL without much restrain~ Xmau the CCTV in the office pls!!!

Joanne ar...

2011-11-17T04:25:00.000-08:00

I did something stupid yesterday! I played along the so-called breast cancer awareness game which spread vastly among girls. There will be a secret code with similar post among all the girls to get everybody curiosity esp the boys. I bet it was designed by some girls who are desperate to get guys attention ba. I get this messages all the time but never once play along. I guess I was really lonesome yesterday. I even called up a few fwens during lunch hour. Right after I post that message up, people come asking and liking the post. I felt so terrible. I didn't mean to give the wrong message. Jc don't lie you see...

Sigh. No more such games.

But seriously, to girls out there, do check up regularly. Don't figure it out too late. The fact that I know hormone pills makes people fat, and there was once I gained weight although I didn't eat a lot, I have no reason not to blame the pills. The medicine was to soften the hardening cyst and now that I don't take it daily, I fear the worst. T.T

Guess I really should die young and beautiful!!! Haha, no! Gotta do check up soon.... When I'm ready.... Soon la!

Today I did another stupid stuff at office. Haiz. Don't wish to elaborate it...

I really cannot take mistake well. I don't allow it which makes me constantly stressful and anxious. I don't like being thrown off-guard. Lame! I'm getting better slowly.

I got my schedule for training already :)

The nearest one will be 1-9 December @Bangi. And I'll definitely stay back for PT32nd on the 10th of December

Time for some dance and jamming season!

2011-11-13T07:40:00.000-08:00

I did not dislike Monday. I fear it. Every night I will try to do some reading as in the nights before every examination. I feel anxious. Nobody expect anything from me except he boss. Even he knew it would be hard for me for at least a few months. The blurness~ In fact, if u're too smart, you threatened the seniors. I don't know where the pressure come from. 80% should be from me la. I don't like to make a fool out of myself. Yea, blame the self-consciousness disease. I still have it...=( I don't like to look stupid. So, I tried to soak everything in fast but it's tough. Switching field is not as easy as I thought.

Your Star

2011-11-13T00:31:00.000-08:00

Nov 13-19

LEO: Lucky Day: Thursday. Lucky Colour: Green. Lucky Number: 6

Every now and then, Leo can be distracted from what matters the most. You!

Chances are that you've recently been looking after everyone else's concerns but your own. Not so now, when you're offered the opportunity for self-indulgence. Go ahead-savour just how sweet life can be.

According to TheStarNewsPaper :)

It might not always true but it's nice to know what to expect on the time ahead of you.

I sometimes doubt if I'm actually a Leo. I'm very much humble-fied! I don't like myself now.

Stuff I downloaded and I wish to share with you guys =)

11.11.11

2011-11-11T10:40:00.000-08:00

Special eh.... 11.11.11

A day that will only come once a century.

As desired, my dearest girlfriend came inviting before I thought of any plan~

Tracy@ EE

I actually drive at night all the way to Jusco! LOL... I worked it baby!

I had my hot cappuccino at Starbucks and a nice hangout with my babes. At least the night was spent eventfully with the right person and my fav beverage.

To a lot of people, 11.11.11 really does not mean a thing. But I was always hoping for something memorable to be celebrated on a special date. Until I realize that I could make a date special, why do I bother to desire anything special on a fanciful date~

Do something fanciful on a special day. Likewise, make a day special by doing something fanciful

Hahaha... Yea, I don't get what I really want you see~

I sent out lotsa wishes, got some replies and a call by my ex-crush who I still sayang a lot. He's after all my bestie :) He just can't help bully me... U wait la~

O.o

I guess my plan to fall in love on a special date will have to be postponed until further notice.

LOL

I am expecting much fun in December...

I am expecting you in December :)

Na, dun bother guessing who's the YOU. It could be anybody. I might mean somebody but everybody might thought of himself. Hell yea, it's fun! Why on earth are you guys so sexist? XD

╔══╗
╚╗╔╝
╔╝(¯`v´¯)
╚══`.¸. Edward ~ ♥

2011-11-10T05:11:00.000-08:00

11.11.11

I wanted something special on that day

Something silly....

Like falling in love again?

LOL.... Working day la @@

I guess I'll just have Starbuck and then blogging :)

While waiting, I thought of doing something outrageous.... LOL.

Eg... maybe listing down the names of my crushes who crushed my heart or....

A confession maybe? Erk... No, Never! XD

I just called my King... I dun call people much so boy, you've got the privilege among all. I wish you a happy wedding registration day tomorrow. Love you Fred. I'm very happy for you :)

There's this cute guy in PB... very sweet boy XD. Slightly chubby but damn.... killing smile. If only he just shave everyday....

2011-11-08T05:19:00.000-08:00

The PYT @ Credit Officer

Random............................

Jc@Bmark.com

2011-11-07T00:31:00.000-08:00

After a very very long time, the idea of making this art business finally become official. Originally me and Yoke Shan who master in Pop-up 3D card wanted to create a blogspot to promo the business. She was busy and I was lazy. Now we both are working ladies... Then another bff of mine come around with great enthusiasm and led this into reality. We're starting off at FBpage 1st. So 3 of us can maintain it without much fuss.

Find us in here Bits here and there.

I'll be surprise if you're not impress.... erm... LOL.

Dream

2011-11-05T10:11:00.000-07:00

You know,

I grab hold on it for too long. I kept letting things get into the way. Things I can't run away from ie responsibilities and etc. Was it the right thing to do? I don't know. But it was the thing I need to do. I'm not getting any younger... Ever since I know what ambition means, I know I wanna become a singer. I never dare to speak it out back then so I lied. I wrote fashion designer as my ambition, my second love.

I actually lied. Shame on you Joanne.

I always assure myself that it will never be too late. There are time. Pick up more skills. Fix all your weaknesses. Be ready. Sometimes, I feel like it's slipping away. I'm shaken. I fear of losing it. It's something that defines me. It represent the stronger side of me. It was a guider in my life. With it, I know I have a purpose in life. Something that reminds me that I have a reason to stay strong when life gives up on me. The longer I drag, the more insecure I am about my desire. I become uncertain and doubtful of my capabilities. You take that away from me, you literary murdered me.

I need assurance! I'm still stuck in a cross road. I need to attempt this pathway. A site that determine if my dream could be reality or if it's simply just a fantasy. I need this huge breakthrough. The first. Should I fail, I need to know where I stand. Issit fixable? Yes? Then I will keep trying. No? Then crush me, shut me out completely. Don't keep me lingering... Sigh.

Then maybe, I can finally move forward with another pathway. Money making phase... more dreams to achieve. :)

Don't lose Jcdagreat.... she is my soul, my integrity, my identity.

Graduation Studio Pic

2011-11-04T23:41:00.000-07:00

We're happily dysfunctional....buahahahahaha

I thought I really wanna giv this studio thingy a pass but friends said that it's a must do! So I did! Finally obtain the softcopy today.

Advice of the day: Do not gain weight during convocation time!!!

Numbers

2011-11-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

First week went by and I really was looking forward for weekend. The first day I was in the building I could feel a whole new strange world waiting for me to explore. Not that I never expect it. It was just a little culture shock to me.... more than a little hiccup. Everybody was hell busy. They were always on the phone, always engage on the line and there wasn't anything in the room that spells fun. Too serious! First day was truly awkward. I was brought along to everybody and to survey the building. It was funny as those faces were very familiar to me and now they are my colleagues. I was a regular there :) So Hi all-times stranger-turned colleagues.

Seriously, if you wanna learn a stuff or two, go to places where they are plenty of Chinese workers. You'll be surprise how efficient and hardworking they are. People will only come on time, nobody goes home early except for me. New ma! Too much works there and when you have a good boss, demands on you will be higher. As days went by, I get more comfortable there. I gotta still be cautious cuz I need to know how the rules n regulation in people management. Innocent people like me could die anytime without a reason. You'll never know! I'd better be sorry than to be fooled.

So far nothing la. Boss is nice~ good chatter, experienced banker, talked to him for 2 hours, I felt in love with my job scope. I got a senior who is really patience and not at all stingy in sharing knowledge with me. Everybody enjoy speaking in cantonese than in English except for boss. They gave me the same big surprise jaw dropping face when they know I came from biology. Ha Ha... Booya... shocking leh? I'm equally in disbelieve too!

Like usual, every new place I go, I have people mistaken me for something. People will either suspect me from elsewhere and not Seremban. People will not believe I'm not engage in a relationship. They might wonder if I'm Christian. They will think that I'm very capable. Esp when I came in with 3.5 cgpa~ nowadays it isn't really high le. Don't doubt. I'm from UKM! Or maybe I am capable! People my age will think that I'm wild when I never once step into the club. Aish...I don't think my desire to go is that strong until it oozes into the thin air and be seen by your naked eyes.. C'mon!

So, since I'm the youngest there, I needa act innocent le... no chance to meow =(

I always end up in a brand new place alone, surviving alone, exploring alone. It makes me lonely and hell yea, that's when I'm strongest. That's also why I don't easily give in to any friendship. I don't know if it could be well kept.

Age is not just a number. There's a value it carries. Everyone is blinded by how much wrinkles they produce and how close you are to death. They have forgotten the wisdom they've gain in life. In bank, age represent wisdom. Experience is value. Number is profit. The more I hate numbers, cuz it makes me anxious, the more I came across it. Now, I have to deal with calculation, Id, Ic, Acc, values, phone numbers. I hate phone calling, now everyday endless calls dialed in, and more dial-up I gotta make soon.

Wanna loan apa-apa, find me! Na, I won't get commission, I just wanna assist you. Give me a month, I will master it! Do not challenge a bio brain :)

011111

2011-11-01T05:27:00.000-07:00

A special day

1st day of work

Strangely odd

Interesting and challenging

Equally stressful

> <

2011-10-30T00:55:00.001-07:00

You Lost It

Guess wat

2011-10-28T09:06:00.000-07:00

I'm such a mess I'll get messy and totally mess up if I fail to pull myself together

These few days have been crappy. PMS to blame but there were hell lotsa annoying people saying rubbish at the wrong time. I was mad. Hell mad!

If you think angry bird is angry,

wait till you see my angst!

If you ever did, you must be one heck of a bitch!

Finally, I mean FINALLY I received the offer letter... Ah, I dun even wanna talk about the inefficiency. Two months!!! Big company...Fine then, you win. Had it your way!

Guess what~

The Pretty Young Thing is a Banker gonna be =.=

Still a singer wanna be

I dream a dream....it ain't any other dream.... It's Jcdagreat's dream!

Surprise Surprise

Frederick Chan is getting MARRIED!!! OMG!!!

Well, not quite a surprise actually. Expecting it already but hearing it is another matter altogether! Gosh, I'm so happie!

Princess is so touched :') Love you my king. You & Karyn have my blessing 11.11.11 =)

Dear king... We've come a long way...

1st year candidate partner 2008 :)

King n Princess 2009 :)

My bday 2nd year XD

2011 3rd year ending ;')

Sayang U dear, now I have Karyn as Queen le :)

Faster produce lil Fred & Karyn XD

Fix me

2011-10-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

Oh damn, I'm seriously not OK today

Funny how when I really need somebody by my side, I can turn to nobody.

I cried so much the streaming tears burns the skin around the eyes.

Ah the hell. I just gotta build more walls

Pls don't make me feel like I'm a loser

I can't breathe...too much mucus~ gotta stop the crying. :')

Happie Birthday Paulians

2011-10-25T08:59:00.000-07:00

24th of Oct

It was Minwai's birthday and it was a FUN night. Wilson and I were the organizers but of course, he was the head. After much sms-ing and calling, I managed to settle the girls' attendance. Tough! Seriously tough! I was so nervous cuz it has been a long time since I participated as an organizer and I wanna make it big for both my besties. We can't fool Minwai but it was a surprise for Eewen actually. Her's is on the next day.

It was a bit messed up as many were quite unfamiliar with S2 roads and the cafe we chose didn't open on Monday... Few cars were lining side by side, windows rolled down, cell phone on ears and everybody was talking~~just to discuss the venue of replacement. It was trilling! It was a cold night with rain drizzled, sizzling the night. There were ten of us @Paparich. Quite a nice place for a gathering since I've always fancy the cafe. A night of much talking and laughter. They are those few who really know who I really am as a person. They may not know what I've been up to now but we are very close hometown friends. A very happy night!

25th of Oct

Dear EeWen, Thank you for being such an understanding friend of mine. Us sharing the similar stories and characters makes me believe that I'm completely sane. The eldest daughter's miseries... Things others don't understand, will not and never gonna understand. There's actually one person in the world who truly acknowledge and will never question on my decision. I have thought of all the possibilities and all the reasons to finally come out with a decision, be it against my will or not. So, please don't go ask much when you can't help me at all. When I'm not ready to do something, I'm not gonna be until I tell you so. You keep asking me and doubting makes me feel like you're insulting me. So, I'm thankful dear... Thank you.

Today K was very funny.... The boys were simply hilarious! I hope you enjoy the day dear~

Simple yet warming :)

The Cycle of a Woman

2011-10-22T23:08:00.000-07:00

In a lifetime, a man would be able to witness the other sex’s transformation.

The cycle of a woman: A kid, girl, woman, wife, mother, grandma.

In your childhood, you might meet another kid. You might not understand why she always gets extra attention. She’s a lot wimpier. When she cries, she gets everything even those of yours. You always got blame for bullying her. Well, you have no choice but to stick with her because she is the only kid nearby you could play together with.

The time when you’re ready to go to school, a girl perhaps is your best enemy. You like to get her attention, yet you can’t help being annoyed by her attitude. When she is alone, she is darling. When she is in a group, that’s when you roll your eyes. Their daily gossips about their favourite new makeup, the next big Korean cute actor to which girlfriend in the neighbourhood got dump freaks you out. Yet, she is in your head all the time. She is your crush. She conquer your mind, she takes over your heart.

You left school. You are ready to face the harsh reality world. You wanna strike it big. You’re chasing big payment, luxuries, and the most beautiful woman of the lot. You will definite woman as sexually luring species, a caring soul, a gentle lover and a perfect complementary for a man. Yes, she is perfect. Woman is perfect. You lost sight of everything you don’t like about a girl but the best things remain and enhance in a woman.

You married her. Suddenly, you realized it might be the worst decision you’ve ever made. She gave a 180 degrees transformation. She is now a jealous, always in angst and probably a control freak. You felt that you have lost your freedom. She demands you this and that and you might not realize it’s you who are whining a lot more now. Home is where you have your real live drama plays before your eye balls. It might be a lot worst when she is pregnant. Oh dear, you blame god for such feisty angel He sent you. There is more responsibility now because you are going to be a father. And damn, No! It’s too late for a divorce.

She gave birth. She gave birth to your child-the most adorable being that carries half of your genes. The little she has your sharp nose, and her mother’s big brown eyes. The eyes that you fell in love with not long ago. You cried and you’re glad that you stay grounded for your woman who you thought was possessed. She reminded you of your mother. The incredible power a mother is blessed with. She is tortured for 9 months, yes, with an unbelievable rollercoaster ride she offers but she delivers magic. As long as you stay faithful to your woman, she is going nowhere.

20 years and counting, you celebrate your wedding anniversary annually with her without failing. She is fragile, but still feisty. She complaints about almost everything. You not making the bed and not flushing the toilet and more. She catches your eyes straying on other attractive aunties. Deep inside, you find her no longer fulfilling. She doesn’t want to wear heels anymore because her joints are killing her. She kept all her makeup and gave away all her favourite plunging dresses because she’s no longer the sexy lady. She keeps her daily life busy by calling your daughter about her safety and crying because she misses her son who is studying in Spain. You might start to miss your working life because home spells boredom. Your wife is boring. You have forgotten that she needed you.

It isn’t easy to be a grandma. She can’t help nagging everybody because she felt the time is ticking too fast. 40 years flashes by and she lost everything she felt great about herself. She lost her dream to marry a rich man and to migrate to somewhere greener on the earth. She lost her beauty and her hourglass figure to her children. She devoted to the only man she ever slept with. You catch her praying silently every night when she thought you were asleep. She prays for the strength to always be the woman you love. She got teary eyes you wish you could kiss her right away. You know you are blessed with a wonder woman.

Bed ridden now, you know she is leaving you soon- the way you always wish it would be. You thought you are the stronger one; the one who wouldn’t lose the will to live for another. Oh how wrong you were. You saw her fought for the extra days to live for she knows you will forget to switch off the cooler every morning. She knows you wouldn’t help her mow her lawn. She fears you will go hungry if nobody prepares you meals for you have the most sensitive stomach in the family.

3 months and she finally breathe her last breath; right after you whisper in her ears in a coma, ‘Wait for me in another lifetime. I’ll recognize you by your big brown eyes’. You lost the love of your life. Everyone cries. You are smiling because you know you will see her again. It is the biggest smile you had on your wrinkled face since the day you saw the birth of you son. With heavy eyes, you finally fall asleep, on the bench you used to hold her rough palm, smiling. :)

If only we can always go back to old times

22nd of OCT

2011-10-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

The hit man David Foster and his great singers came to town

The new act twin sisters Jayesslee was here too

Justin Lo from HongKong was in the house as well

While they were awing and captivating their audience, I was too performing for a charity event in Seremban.

Ok gua.... I dun feel great though

A few rounds of applause but I think they were just being nice

I knew it wasn't good enough
I wasn't good enough
Music sense too strong jor
Don't deny my thoughts....=(
Self denial

Sigh... when will I be satisfied with myself outside Kroom?

Fix You-ColdPlay

2011-10-21T09:32:00.001-07:00

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Pareidolia

2011-10-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

You know, I keep searching for the word that could definite what I am experiencing.

Time to time, at any surfaces and places, as long as my eyes focus on them, I see images. Especially those uneven surfaces or those with patterns. Those images created by the patterns are always artistic. If I ever draw them down, they could be master piece. Why don't I do so? Cuz I always have better things to do... those were the times when I was minding my business in the loo or when I stare at blank surfaces to rest my eyes after a long chats facing the laptop. LOL. There was once I read a case like mine and then I realized it wasn't just me who experience it. I'm not so special after all. Damn! There was a name to such phenomenal. And I thought I could give it a name. Damn too!

Pareidolia

I guess I'm simply too imaginative~too sensitive~too artistic

Muahahahaha..............

2011-10-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA

Stupid Me

Why am I so bloody cute?

So Malu-fying

That was it

You know what~ TNB sucks.

I love Mas

2011-10-16T08:48:00.000-07:00

I watched Oprah the other day and she celebrates Freedom riders 50th anniversary in that episode. It was a group of American that fights for unity and to call off the partition/segregation of blacks n whites. It was very inspiring! Then I thought of the rally Bersih 2.0 in MAS. Similar activity for different purposes. The silence non-violence rally/activism was fight off with violence. If the right message was being shut down and gave up upon, so indirectly it means all things can be solved by force of violence/ brutality. Think about it Malaysian.

For eg. They are alot of people who purposely post something that trigger the sensitive stuff in FB. Those jerks were idiots. They could be anyone using any identity. You were angry and you repost it. That makes you the next idiot! You just fell into the racism scam! Discuss issues nicely, effectively, summons rights with integrity, support them with wise proofs, suggest only brilliance. Especially those educated bunch, please... think before you act. Do not fight with the lower morality people. You stop talking doesn’t mean that you admit defeat. Infact, if you were the one who are talking rubbish, you ought to shut up yourself. Don’t humiliate your own kind. I’m reffering to all people of all races here. Think wise guys.

Oddness Big Bottom Babe

2011-10-16T08:33:00.000-07:00

Time to shop for office attire... Having taken biology as my course, there was a moment I thought to myself that I could escape wearing office attire in the future. All I need is probably just a chemical proof labcoat so that I don't get cancer earlier than I thought I would. Do you know biologist needa use a lot of carcinogenic chemicals? Genetic especially. Anyway, I don't think I will ever go back to my old field. Focus JC... U're losing your story line........ @@

So, I was at Jusco. I didn't drive. I'm not allowed! Damn! Somehow, cheap brand never fits me. They have the best shape for aliens. I walked into VJ and Nicole. Grab lotsa pants into the fitting room. I never like buying pants. Big arse gal... Genetic mia prob. I can't be proud of it. You see, due to my small boobies, I don't have the hourglass-to-die-for body shape. So, yea, I sorta hate my arse.

I was the odd girl in the world who ask my parent not to give me money. Don't spoil me! But trust me, the more you resist to accept, the more they give you XD. No, I'm not teaching you that! I'm so odd, I don't always shop and today I shopped specifically for clothing I don't fancy much. While I was oddly trying on pants which were not size appropriate, there came an odd song by Enrique named Tonight (I'm farking you). Dah lar the pants were half way stuck (not really, I was zipping), a stupid song like this came knocking in my head. Grrrr.... I was like I just ate my lunch! Right!. I was slightly over saiz M but not quite size L. How to buy?

Anyway, bought some home and thank goodness for the 50% promotion. Or else I might went home empty handed and a whole night of nagging! Oddly enough, heavy rain with roaring thunders stroke non-stop the whole evening. Weather forecast gav wrong info jor!

Odd gal with odd ass who has odd dreams with odd fanciness.... Now who's greater than JCdagreat!

2more weeks before working life start.

Pending list

> A charity performance on 22nd Oct

> Malacca trip etc

> Jamming at bandroom

> Makeover top-2-toe

> D.I.E.T Need to decrease until 50kg this time

I'm glad I could still easily fall outta crush... U're one charming guy that I adored in a lot of ways. If I ever fall in love, you'll eventually be the hmm, let me count... the 3rd. The 3rd that would really break my heart. While I was mending the broken pieces, I have some lil bees that come around and bring me some honey~

Very sweet indeed...

The Big Bad Wolf Sales

2011-10-14T09:48:00.000-07:00

Went to book fair today... Walou eh... Lotsa cheap stuff... Damn. I was like JC, pls behave. A sudden rush of adrenalin filled the veins and I rushed into the building ignoring all the OCBC promoters. I don't like doing sales cuz I'm scare of salesmen. They keep finding me for all the wrong reasons specifically on the wrong time. So, I kept my eyes on the best selling lists of authors and titles. Sigh, I guess I was slightly late. Majority of them were out of stock. Well, they were named best selling for a reason anyway. I did came home with 3 books though. They are good enough for a few months' companion. All of my novels were kept in the shelf for at least half a year before I finally felt guilty of buying them. I'm not really a novel reader. In fact, a lazy reader. In a situation like this, I could either spend like crazy or not spend at all. Now that I know this kinda sales came yearly, I will strike on the 1st day next time.

Oh, 90% of them were Christine Tee mia

I'm kinda superficial huh? Very judgmental. As in, a book cover could really draws me in. Then, I will go through the summary. If I ever bought it, the first page is utmost important or else, very quickly, it will find a spot in the shelf. Critics and reviews are factors that would influence me into purchasing them or not. This is normal right? But what really abnormal about me is that I will tend to give hundreds of reasons to not to buy the book even though the immediate fanciness towards the book is built. Good self-control/restrain~ LOL. Gotta change such attitude. Problematic!

I love seeing those fingers running over the strings....melodic (2nd jamming)

When will I really find my heart to learn an instrument?... When the salary come? LOL. I need a patient Tcher. Where am I suppose to find???

So indecisive, so undetermine, so coward

So Joanne.... tsk

Don't ask WHY

2011-10-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

I think I should stop asking WHY

Instead, I should ask HOW

Since I can't always get an answer when I ask

'Why wouldn't you fall in love with me?'

Then I shall learn to ask

'How do I make you love me?'

LOL

I don't particularly think this picture best define my beauty (aHemmm) but it's the latest one I think I look good in. Falling in love is easy, but getting the one that you love to equally love you is difficult. I truly wish I could love rightly on the right one soon. I don't wanna be sick of liking someone. I dun wanna have phobia to crush on someone special.

2Day is our second time jamming. I really love singing... I love my voice... Hey, anybody heard of any insurance coverage for vocal chord?

LOL

>Sien dao<

2011-10-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

PB finally called me today in the afternoon saying that the internal error has finally been fixed. Right! I just knew what trick you're imposing. The confirm letter has been issued and will be sent in a day or two. It will be directly sent to Seremban branch and I would be alerted to collect it soon. I sighed as a sign of relieve. So I am really hired. That waiting was not wasted. I lost the excitement as I was being kept questioning uncertainties and whenever that happens, I went nuts. I don't wanna be in the losing side anymore. I'm tired having to always let people interfere my decision or have my things being decided.

Oh, seriously... I should be happy. It's a high paid job and with its salary, I can start planing for my dreams. 1st of November would be my 1st working day.

I'm a biology born banker LOL~ BBB. Yea, go ahead and roll your eyes, cuz I just did.

I was so bored today, I reread my old posts. ='( Mix feeling~ I don't think I should ever do that again. Time to move on for good.

Plan future, plan my dreams. Save money, go for dancing, vocal n instrument classes. Master driving, explore places, traveling... Save more money, go competitions, further study~ fashion, music etc. :)

I'm going all out, so much to lose, so I ain't looking back.

& I know you'll be here, walking by my side, leading this crippled girl to the same dream that we shared

Thanks for keeping my sanity in check girls...

U noe what, we don't need a boyfriend, we need each other...

We'll rock the climb, Glorious climb.

Miss you dear :')

The Remedy

2011-10-11T22:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a great day. Unplug jamming at my house. 2 guitars and one voice...It was magic. Haha... 3 musically groovy fwens strutting their best. We jammed from 1pm till 4.30pm, trying out songs and selecting 5 out for the 22nd Oct performance for a charity event. The Tee family was great. Christine and Alvin complement each other nicely. I just need to sing, adore and be adored.

Emoness was slayed instantly. Fuck u Emo Jc. You have been suppressing the bubbly me for a good long time. Fuck U.

Singing my favourite songs with our own touch of elements give us an identity. Many of my favourite were out-listed cuz they needed full band instruments to support the songs. U know, Mercy and Rolling in the Deep. Both are heavy songs~ without bass and drum, they dun have souls. I was lifted spiritually~ erk, excuse my bahasa... I seriously mean it. I was so down for a few days and all of a sudden, I was awake.

I see sunshine and rainbows. LOL!

I feel lifeless whenever I detach from music. Some girls need to shop or make up or chat over the phone with boyfie to feel good about themselves. I just need to sing, in a band or the least, a visit to K room will do. I'm easy to be fixed. The hardest part is to get a great musician who can fulfill all my demands and have a good music system and all my fav song in the list. Is that a difficult request to be fulfilled? T>T XD

We tried: Animal-Neon Trees, Dreams- The Cranberries, Right here waiting- Richard M., Close to you- Carpenters, Can't keep my eyes of you- Forget jor, Fire- Babyface, Stand by me- Many version lar, The climb- Miley C., Price Tag- Jesse J., Sweetchile O mine- Gun n Roses and even Giv n Take- Jcdagreat XD.

Thinking of adding one Chinese song~ Can dun wan ma? Teresa Teng???

Oh dear.... I do think that my voice compliment English songs, but if I do Chinese's, it might be special. Xde confident leh... Malay song okay ma?

I'm still looking for my perfect duet partner? Where the hell are you?

Endless love, Whenever you call, I'm your angel, When you believe, A whole new world, Beauty and the beast

All these songs can die without you and I....LOL

Sigh!

2011-10-10T09:17:00.000-07:00

Yay, I finally found my spectacle....

It's time to not meet the wrong person over and over again

There were many nice quotes in FB recently...Everybody was so gaga over them as if the truth has finally been spoken~ Well, I said everybody, including myself. Thinking back, hey, those phrases are widely and clearly known. It's just nicer when someone else is suggesting the same thing, as if the rules you live by is true after all.

I just realized it wasn't easy to play angel. I'm not strong enough. Bruised again! Fool again! I wonder if I were the one to blame when people imposed wrong impression on me. Was I giving a lot of misleading ideas of who I am as a person? Or the fact that I'm too superficial, too much info given to digest, too much too handle?

There are people who thought they understand you well but they don't. Some of they try, some of them ignore. Some thought that you've changed when you just wanna be more of yourself.

I dislike uncertainties. I don't like anyone or anything that keeps me waiting. Nothing worth my waiting and nothing should ever waste my time. I don't like misleading attention. I don't like it when you took me to a higher altitude and then left me in the lurch dealing with acrophobia myself.

Sigh... Im expecting PB to call this week for final agreement. I need to demand a certainty from them. They better give me the best offers after so much of waiting. Fark You! Because of you, all my plans are delayed. Yeap, Im still emo... let me be. I'm losing sanity.

Check this song out: Love is a Battlefield

Chorus

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand

NO PROMISES, NO DEMANDS

Love Is A Battlefield

We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong

Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing

Love Is A Battlefield

You're beggin' me to go, you're makin' me stay

Why do you hurt me so bad?

It would help me to know

Do I stand in your way, or am I the best thing you've had?

Believe me, believe me, I can't tell you why

But I'm trapped by your love, and I'm chained to your side

Chorus

We're losing control

Will you turn me away or touch me deep inside?

And before this gets old, will it still feel the same?

There's no way this will die

But if we get much closer, I could lose control

And if your heart surrenders, you'll need me to hold

Chorus

1st anniversary of our glorious 10/10/10

2011-10-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

Emo peaks

Lotsa other factors though~

10/10/10 was a night to remember... Along with its special date was our spectacular performance and beautiful friendships. =)

Our first dance

2nd dance

3rd dance

Finale

LOL.... Memories.... Dearly Cherished :')

Reminiscing PT31st part 2

2011-10-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

While counting down the days, I looked back to all the photos in my PT31st album. So sweet, so lovely... yet so heart-wrenching. Cuz I miss them dearly. I got emo, I found Sly in MSN. We crapped like usual and we were really curious of how the audition for the new dancers went today. Then we both got emo together. Although she is in her fourth year, she has difficulty in joining. Such gifted dancer. We were passionate dancers...dedicated, devoted.... lol.

She mentioned something that almost brought tears to my eyes... She misses PT as much as I do. She don't even dare to look at the photos cuz she don't like the feeling of not being able to go back...Damn. That was the thing that really bothers me. I can't go back... ='(

I lived those days to the fullest, I really tried. I enjoyed myself so much, so satisfyingly yet I could not have enough. If I could, I would wanna go back, again. This time, I'll make it even better.

U noe, such repetitive never-gonna-be-granted sorta wish would just pulled me back, not being able to move forward. But I just love to be drowned by the memories. That's Y I'm so depress... I need to start work asap.

One year ago today, I was deeply emotional about the 10/10/10 performance night. After all those hard works, 2morrow was the day! I wanna be great.... I wanna feel the stage.... Those lil wish I told myself. I looked at my friends faces, deep into their eyes, we held hands, we hugged each others for extra supports for 2morrow was a long day indeed. A day to remember!

I just found out that PT32nd audition marked the worst ever recorded participants... Are you kidding me?

Can PT32 actually survive? ='(

Walking down memory lane of PT31st

2011-10-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

A friend reminded me that day of our legendary 10/10/10 PT31st musical stage performance ~ One year ago today, we were working our ass off, sweating gallons of sweats in our rehearsal just to make ourselves much perfect. Our teachers were off to Germany for their competition. We were then taken over by my fave male Tcher and he guided us throughout till the end of our PT31st journey. The last few days were the most intense moments for both physically and mentally. But we were strong. We wanna be brilliant on stage. We love our dances, we love the story, and most importantly, we love us! We ditched all our classes, stayed put at DECTAR for practices and rehearsal. I was devoted. I was doubting if I was ready....

I miss Us

Crying Clown

2011-10-06T09:48:00.000-07:00

Just remember

Being a clown doesn't mean he cannot be unhappy

He could be wearing a smiley mask but wet his cheek beneath his disguise

But don't worry, the clown is responsible to cheer your daily lives

He could recuperate himself

All he needs is sometime alone

But a pat on the back could ease his tensed shoulders

A smile of yours could make his day

A hug from you could mend his broken heart

A kiss could reignite his passion once again

He would be okay if he's left alone

He would be happier if you bother to care

He would be happiest if you choose to love him

He just promise to make everyone happy. He didn't promise to be happy everyday.

If u're sensitive enough, you might just sense one of them crying nearby you

Not me....not today :)

Forbidden

2011-10-05T09:23:00.000-07:00

I thought I wanna play angel

To guide a lost soul back to its star

Sadly a fallen star can never be retrieved

Sympathized, I took him home

Ego believe that I could

Consciousness promises to help

Wisdom forbidden me

I didn't listen

Now that I'm playing with fire

I'm scare that I'll get burned

Excitements are superficial

I'm scare of losing my aim

I thought I just wanna play angel

And I shall just be Angel!

Phobia Freak!!!

2011-10-05T00:46:00.000-07:00

I said it once, I can't believe I need to say it twice.

Imma happy freak among my fwens and I'm those clown who wear smiley mask whenever I fail to curl my lips upward. U guys are my precious lil things and I'm not gonna spoil the fun we share whenever we have the chance to gather. So, it's utmost important that everything goes well and nobody should step on my tail. That is the only thing I ask for. Is it so difficult?

***

I told you I am afraid of losing something. I'm so freakish I actually developed light OCD. I would not let my important possession goes outta my sight. I can no longer take the blame of losing my belonging over my carelessness. No longer! You wanna play with my stuff, take a look or watever, do it in front of me or notice me earlier. This shit happen again that night. I know you are playful, I know you hide it by handed it to someone who is believable, away from me. You wanna scare the hell outta me! Yes, You did it! Horrrayyyyy!!! You saw that stupid face of me being totally bewildered. Very funny wasn't it? Such accomplishment you did! Do you know how scare I was when I didn't find my phone on the place it was suppose to be? You didn't have enough, you did it again with my bag? I thought I just reminded you of my phobia just a second ago? Hey, when I told you it was phobia, I wasn't kidding you.

I trusted you. I was at ease, completely off guard because I trusted you. And you pounced on me when I was most unaware. Perhaps you thought I was being too emotional or that I exaggerated the whole things. If you'd know me well, you know my level of tolerance. There are only certain things that could make me totally fired up. This was one! And you being the 2nd time offender. I can't hate on you, cuz you're my best friend. I felt terrible being angry with you and the bullet of angst came right back to me. Why are you being so serious? Why do you go banana over the trivial matter? So I should hate myself instead!

Now you know why I told you not to mess with my phobia the first time round. I will go mad!

I'm sorry for being this way. Sorry for the innocence and carelessness of my past that resulted this being today.

***

Innocence... I thk I still posses it. Whatever unbelievable stuff told by my fwens I would believe. Even If I thought I know about the fact, his/her lies will had my confidence shaken cuz I would wanna believe them, those I called friends. Stupid huh?

EG: I thot this fwen was going back to Indonesia for good and He is not coming back. I believed it and I went emotional for that day thinking that I kinda disappointing as his fwen. Fuck you V. Though I'm actually happy that it was a lie after all, I still hate the fact that you are one of those inconsiderate people who misuse pure innocents of others. Naive probably. Stupid to be precise.

Ok lar...enough liao. Dammit! I'm not a good thing after all. I purr alot, scratch alot, pluck hairs alot, talk alot, too sampat, too hiao.... Aisey. Nuff said.

***

Had my teeth washed in Gov clinic. 1st time there! Not that scary after all. But I bumped to one annoying one, not friendly. Sigh. I'm glad I did it anyway!

I'm definitely not going to marry a Dentist.

Newtune Intro Night 2011 (3/10/11)

2011-10-04T09:47:00.000-07:00

Arrived in UKM at 11am with Xtine via KTM. It was a smooth ride, not much hassle and problem. Met up with Alex and had lunch at Pusanika Bakery. Walked around library and Faculty made me miss my student life a lot. Those walkways were those I passed by daily to get to the lecture halls, meals, back to classes or to bus station. The only thing that I still dislike is the stairs to Library main door. Staircase to hell

Juniors started to gather at 5pm, setting up the stage while me, Xtine, Devissa, Jieru n Alex went for Dinner at Aunty Lan. I expect alot from them that night. I want a good show! This was my first time as Lou Ren Jia, watching NewTune performance as audience. I was very nervous when the show was about to start.... for no reason. I wasn't even on stage. I just felt them. I want them to be great!

The sound system was good. Performances were amazingly well. Hardly any bad tussle or moments. The concert flow was clean, clear and smooth. Even the special guest was hilariously special. Much improvement noted. Tissue's vocal-bility is undeniably one of the best voice I love. Ck too... tone rich, better control. Careful with high pitch ya young man. Mo ke... High dao!!! So natural but dun lost control of it. LOL. I will come back to check on you guys progress especially during NTLP 15. I'll be the stage guru... hell yea u guys gonna suffer. Imma perfectionist! Now, everybody go get ur catsuit ready!

Utilize n maximize the usage of our new bandroom. U guys have such brilliant proposal and planning for future Tuning. I as old tuner is proud of you all. Walk the talk ite, I have faith in tuners.

There are nights you'd wish you could sleep through it

There are nights you'd wish they would last forever...

All good things must have a perfect end note and that would be our ritual Al-fariz visit. XD

Every little thing that I did on that night reminded me of my time approximately one year ago. It's a different kind of feeling and approach to the celebration, but the same old lovely unity. I wish more juniors would be inspired and lured into this big family of ours. We do not disappoint.

Job Well Done Guys.

I Miss U, life

Missed Mishaps

2011-09-30T10:32:00.000-07:00

Emo day!!!

Returned the robe this morning and finally obtained the original cert.

1stly! Nothing happen until I was almost half way back Seremban Highway. Yes, I was driving. I was on the slow lane and there was a junction where a fucking green gigantic truck speeding out. I was quite speedy myself so, in that split second I was thinking he would have stop and I should proceed driving. My dad was urging me to break. I was thinking probably I should shift to another lane. I don't know why I was not listening to my dad. I heard him I think, but I didn't react the way I should. I was on the right side, following rules while that farking hell going against it, endangering lives. It was close, I mean, if another vehicle from the back speed close enough or that hell green monster did not stop from going all out into my line, I might already involved in an accident. Probably died. ='( Sigh... Y am I so bloody hopeless?

2ndly! PB has yet to call back! They have already approved the confirmation of taking me in. Can they reject me after the confirmation without acknowledging me 1st? Sigh, I was expecting this 3rd Oct as my 1st working day. I don't like the feeling of being left hanging. I like to be in power to decide on my own life but I hate choices. Now that I yet to receive any call which I'm still doubting if I would get a call, I wish to go to NewTune Intro concert this coming Monday.

I'm going!!! Dear juniors, Gambatte. Good show yea. Rock the stage on behalf of me!